All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
This chapter has been beta'd by the ever amazing: Strae
Hours had passed since the ceremony had concluded, still now, alone in our house, I felt more nervous than I'd been all day.
Despite the size of the church, our wedding had been very minimal. My family was naturally all there, including Jasper. A few of the townsfolk were invited, but it was mostly intimate. Rosalie was hugely pregnant and ready to give birth any second, but she had unwaveringly tended to Bella, even when Carlisle told her to lay down.
Rosalie was purely egotistical though, and it was one of the reasons I wasn't very fond of her. She was determined to help with our wedding and she was going to see her hard work in motion. She relentlessly decorated and coordinated as she bossed not only Alice around, but my mother as well. The grin-and-bear-it look on her face as she'd clutched her belly a few times made me more than a little nervous.
I'd even went so far as having a discussion with her. I'd barely gotten two words of worry in before she fisted my shirt in her hand and spoke through gritted teeth about how Emmett and Carlisle were trying to make her bed-ridden, and if I joined those ranks, she'd gladly kick my butt.
I'll admit that despite her feminine features, from her long sheet of gold hair to her elegantly slender toes, she was frightening. Incredibly strong for a woman too. I think she may have picked me up off the floor when she yelled at me.
I decided right then and there that the hormones of a woman's pregnancy were not to be trusted. She was outright insane and I'll be damned if I was going to be the one to tell her so. I let her do as she pleased. That evening, I noticed the way Emmett seemed to be tiptoeing around her and laughed to myself. He may have been three times her size but she was downright scary these last few weeks of her pregnancy.
The sound of the sloshing water pulled me from my thoughts. The tub was almost full now. The water was warm and the room was glowing with lit candles.
Tonight would be our first night alone together. Actually alone. It wasn't my expectation that just because we were now husband and wife, in our home together, that we were to consummate our marriage immediately. If she wanted to wait, then by all means, we would wait.
I feared she was ready though. That was the thing about Bella. Danger and pain never seemed to frighten her. She was brave. And far, far too curious.
In my parent's house, after her so called "accident" we'd been inseparable. The time that it took for her to heal meant I hardly ever left the hospital ward. We had two cots bumped up to each other and I slept by her without a word from anyone. In her fragile state, neither of us were even remotely aroused though. Our kisses were sweet and loving.
Until our last night in the hospital. Between slow, almost chaste kisses, I felt her fingers slowly drawing lower over my jaw. Then she'd unexpectedly rolled right on top of me, pressing her lips firmly to mine. I'd allowed it, stupidly, but only because I'd missed this too. We could be intimate, loving, gentle, all of it was really enough, but I missed her passion. I'd feared it went missing. So feeling it back full force had left me stupidly happy.
Her hands ghosted along my neck and fisted in my shirt then rested right above my ears, where she grabbed two fistfuls of hair and pulled, trying to get herself closer. It was instant sexual arousal for me. If I'd been holding back at all, she'd made me let go when she pulled my hair.
I groaned loudly into her mouth and lightly wrapped both of my arms around her waist, trying to be gentle as I pulled her impossibly closer to my body.
We both became breathless quickly and she moved her lips to my ear as she panted for air. "Edward," she puffed, making my hips push hard against her body, "I can't wait for you to be inside of me." She punctuated her words with wriggles of her hips against me.
It took everything in my body not to give in to her begging voice. I wanted nothing more than to tear her flimsy gown off and fulfill her request. It killed me to roll to my side so we couldn't be quite so intimately close. My body screamed in protest when I'd whispered that we couldn't. Not yet.
I chuckled at the memory of Carlisle walking in just moments later. He gave one look at our heaving chests and flat out banished us from being alone together. I didn't blame him one bit and I might have even thanked him silently. Bella was going to be the death of me.
"The decision has been made," Carlisle stated firmly. "Edward, you will be bunking with Jasper. Bella, you are well enough to return to your room with Alice." His jaw set hard and he was pointed in the way he looked at us both. "Do not forget that you two being alone together will result in Edward going to live with Emmett and Rosalie. The warning is firmly in place now. Both of you move."
I'd jumped up quickly. And lost my balance. My father chuckled at me. Quietly walking over and patting my back. "Your blood is not in your brain, boy. Please try to think with your big head."
I scowled. I'd used my brain…if I hadn't he'd have walked in on something far more intimate and punishable.
"Father," I started as he started to help Bella gather up her candle and book, "you said…" I trailed off. The decision had been made. Jasper would live with us.
After Jasper had relayed the full story to my father, giving him every niggling detail about his past, my father encouraged Jasper to go the authorities. He didn't threaten Jasper or tell him he had to go, but I knew he'd probably used his compassion filled, holier-than-thou eyes to make Jasper's conscience weep. He'd left almost immediately to turn himself in.
The only goodbye he made was to Alice, rightfully so. He owed nothing to any of us, but Alice. I'd never seen Alice so angry when she yelled at my father as he held onto her whilst she clawed at him trying to grab Jasper, follow him.
And I'd never heard her scream so loudly when my father gave her the dismal news that Jasper had been sentenced to death by hanging for murdering his father. I hadn't understood why my father told Alice. We all knew he would go speak with the authorities on Jasper's behalf, but before he'd done so, he told Alice exactly what had been relayed to him by the executor.
I could only assume he was preparing her for the worst if he couldn't talk Jasper's way out of it. Alice had been beyond reason. When Bella tried to comfort her, she'd screamed that she hated Bella and slammed their bedroom door in her face. Bella came to me crying, feeling so disgustingly guilty. I held her while she cried, murmuring my love for her and promising her none of it was her fault. My mother echoed my promises, telling her that Alice was upset and didn't mean what she'd said.
No one really saw Alice again for days. She holed herself up in bedroom, jamming the door in place and refusing to come out or let anyone in. I gave Bella my bed and slept down in the hospital to keep peace within while Alice grieved.
My father's first attempt at freeing Jasper was futile. He'd nearly been incarcerated himself. I took myself to the sheriff and again relayed the story that was so true. They knew James was a revolting piece of garbage, that he hit Jasper, we'd even reported him the first time for grabbing Bella, but they couldn't look over the fact that Jasper had killed him. I left, my father still pleading, and returned with Bella. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but she was feeling guilty still and letting her help couldn't hurt. So she'd shown them her maimed head for Jasper. The large curving scar on the back of her skull, still scabby at the time, had left everyone speechless. My father again told them how close she'd been to death.
My stomach and brain had churned so hard at his words I nearly passed out. Bella's fingers squeezed tightly at mine and I blinked rapidly to clear my blurred vision. Rage took over my body and I'd had to walk out. Bella followed right behind me. Quickly I grabbed her up in my arms, hugging her fiercely, unbelievably emotional.
"How can they do this, Bella?" I begged of her. "How can they even think about killing him? Jasper did nothing wrong. James killed his wife, his young son's mother, he nearly killed you, he made Jasper's life a living hell. They refused to punish James. Jasper had every right. He had every right."
Bella nodded and agreed with me profusely. Her lips moved against mine as she murmured her love for me and agreed with my every word. She took me home and held me as I had my own emotional breakdown. I was angry and I was miserable and I didn't understand.
But then Carlisle told us those few nights later Jasper was coming…home. He explained that Maria had seen and heard mine and Bella's display. She'd went forward and had been the final reason for Jasper's release. She confirmed Jasper's details of how James loved to torture. That Jasper had defended, not taken an innocent life.
And Jasper was coming home. We all agreed to let Bella give Alice the news. They had some making up to do, and Bella had felt like she'd needed that extra detail to get back in Alice's good graces.
Father would have to make one more trip to the authorities to hash out details for Jasper's "care." They'd agreed to release him, under strict orders. My father was granted full custody, so to speak, and he was to treat Jasper for mental problems we all knew weren't there. Jasper wasn't violent, Jasper wasn't even broken, Jasper just needed a family, and Alice's love. So my father had agreed to diligently see to Jasper's "mental health." The rest was history.
I sloshed the final buckets of hot water into the tub and looked out the window at the full moon. Bella was taking her sweet time. Or perhaps it was Rosalie and Alice who were taking their sweet time. I knew Bella was slightly anxious. I'd seen in on her face when she'd stared at me from down the aisle.
Goodness me, how beautiful she had looked. Admittedly, Bella always looked beautiful to me, even when she was huffing angrily, her hair wild, and covered in dirt that she'd tripped into. But seeing her in a pure white gown, her hair pinned up, a long gauzy veil only enhancing the brightness of her red cheeks had left me breathless. Speechless. I'd attempted to whisper to her how beautiful she looked when she'd reached the end of the aisle and took my hand, but the only thing that came out was an embarrassing squeak. She smiled though and I knew she understood.
I forced my voice to work for the recitation of our vows and I choked again as I saw her eyes brim with tears. I kept mine from doing the same thing as she had a nearly as difficult time saying hers. And then she was Mrs. Edward Cullen. Mrs. Bella Cullen. Mrs. Cullen. Mine. I kissed the bride so thoroughly the reverend had to clear his throat obnoxiously to get my attention. Everyone giggled, including Bella when I muttered an apology.
The whole lot of us, which resulted in about a dozen people, went back to my parents house where we ate delicious food, bantered happily, and waited for night to fall.
I almost believed it was the first star that made my trousers tight. I'd been wrong though. My body sensed her coming up behind me and reacted accordingly. It knew the words that were going to come out of her mouth.
Her hands slid underneath my arms as she rubbed my chest and hugged me from behind, her body pressed against my back as she stood on her toes to whisper in my ear. "Edward, I'm ready to go home."
I gulped, quite audibly. My whole body was tense. My whole body. Her words kept replaying in my head. I'm ready to go home. I can't wait for you to be inside of me. I'm ready to go home. I can't wait for you to be inside of me...
I turned in her arms ever so slowly, and she met me with a smile that would have made an angel cry. "You are so beautiful, Bella," I murmured, brushing my fingers over the cheekbones that stained red at my words.
"Bella!" I heard Alice's voice sigh exasperatedly, like she'd been searching for hours. "I've been looking for you forever," she said dramatically, grabbing Bella's hand off my chest. "Come on, it's dark, we need to get you out of this dress."
My expression must have matched my inner dialogue because all I was thinking was: That's my job, little sister. Alice laughed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, Edward, did you really think we were going to let you ruin this masterpiece of a dress by tearing it off of her in haste?"
Bella flushed dark red and I shifted at the mental image. That was exactly what I'd been thinking, actually. Alice snorted and guffawed too loudly for a girl so small. She tugged Bella's hand and was dragging away my blushing bride…
"You are so hugely annoying for someone so small," I called after Alice, to which I received a devious smile from her. I gulped.
Back in the bathroom, I sighed, popping the buttons on my shirt. Alice was going to keep her away forever for my outburst. I slowly continued to remove my clothing.
It was a small plan, but one that I hoped she'd understand. By filling the bathtub, we had a choice. We didn't have to go immediately to the bed to fornicate. Even if we both wanted to, were we ready to? So in hopes of washing away the stress of the situation, I'd filled the bathtub.
The water would soothe and calm us both. We could wash and love each other without having to be desirously greedy on the bed.
I was kidding myself if I pretended I wasn't ready. I probably couldn't have been anymore ready. I loved her with everything I had, I ached to feel her body flush with mine. I longed for the one thing no one else would, or ever could, give me. I needed Bella like I needed air in my lungs, I was sure of it. I desired for her to be mine, fully and completely.
But if she was not ready, there was no doubt in my mind I could accept it without question. Her body had to feel just as mine did or it wouldn't be right. To be wrong for one of us was to be wrong for both of us. Unless she needed me the way I needed her, I wouldn't ask her to go to bed with me, entirely.
We could simply bathe and touch and love and go to sleep in our home, on our bed. I would live, despite the aching need. I could simply wait for her to become ready for my bodily intrusion.
As I sank down into the warm water to continue waiting, I pondered her anxiety. Was she anxious to have me, or anxious to tell me she wasn't ready to have me? Either way, I would live, very happily too. My wife would be with me for the rest of eternity and I couldn't be unhappy about anything. I leaned toward her simply being anxious to be with me, for all of her curiosity and bravery pointed toward it. As did her words. I can't wait for you to be inside of me.
She very well could have changed her mind, I reminded myself. I nodded slowly. It was unlike Bella to change her mind though. She always went through with her decisions.
The water started to cool. I peeked out the window at the moon sitting high in the sky, starts twinkling at me brightly. My body was aching for her. Tense and hard as I'd ever been, despite her absence for hours at least.
I could kill Alice. She was purposely making this more difficult for us. She knew darn well what she was doing. She was killing me. Slowly. Painfully.
Finally. Finally, the front door to our house opened and closed. I could hear Bella slowly making her way around the bottom floor. I smiled to myself, then felt myself twitch beneath the water as I heard her ascending the staircase. My breathing peaked higher.
She was in our bedroom. "Edward?" she asked confusedly.
"In here, love," I called softly, fighting to keep my voice even.
I heard her footsteps moving ever so slowly across our bedroom floor. Her hand landed gently on the door, but remained still. Straining to hear her movement, I swore I heard her mutter, "Don't be a coward," under her breath just before the door slowly swung open.
I leaned my head back to look at her as she entered the room. Her lips parted as she stared at me in the bathtub. I could practically hear her heart racing.
"Care to join me?" I asked calmly, again my voice soft and even.
Her lower lip trembled, her cheeks going so deep red I feared for her health. Quickly, I went on, unsure of what she was thinking.
"I drew a bath for us so we could relax. Just so we could relax. I'll wash your hair for you." I threw in a smirk at the end.
Her mouth curved up in a delightful smile. "That sounds very nice, Edward. Thank you."
Her smile faltered then and she was glowing bright enough to rival the sun. I understood and tried to be nonchalant as I brought my head back forward, unable to see her anymore.
Calm was the only way I could make this idea useful. If I was a panting bundle of nerves, there would be no point to the bath anyway. I sank deeper in the water and waited, trying to calmly listen her to articles of clothing dropping to the floor.
She hadn't been in her gown anymore. She'd had on a new dress, one that was also white and I'd never seen it before. It was very beautiful and reminded me of the one in my dream from so long ago, where we'd sat on the beach. Her hair had been taken down too and was cascading in waves over her shoulders.
"I love you," I breathed to her as she moved across the floor.
Her hands very gently smoothed across my eyes, making me lower my lids. I took her silent command and kept my eyes closed. "I love you too."
Very slowly, so slow I thought another century was dawning on us, she moved to the side of the tub and stepped in. Ever so gently, she placed her feet on either side of my body and sat between my feet. I heard her sigh as the water sloshed.
Her hand lightly stroked along my calves and I took the as my confirmation that I could open my eyes. When I did, slowly, she was leaned back against the edge of the tub, her eyes closed as she relaxed in the cooled, though still warm, water.
My eyes could have searched out her naked form beneath the water, but I didn't let them. I smiled to myself as I glanced at the moon behind her head. The water was right at her breasts, submerging them under it and this view felt suddenly familiar. The candle light brightened the room enough so that it wasn't black or even dark, it was clear and I could have sought out what I'd been wanting to see since that night, but I didn't. I just sighed happily and drank in her alabaster skin being shone upon by the silver moon.
Her eyes fluttered open and she hesitantly returned my smile.
"This feels very familiar for me," I said, smirking at her.
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "How so?" she asked.
I grinned wider. "I may have lied to you once," I said. Her brow wrinkled deeper and a look of worry flashed in her eyes. "Do you remember the night I startled you while you were bathing?" She nodded slowly. "I lied, I was watching. I was spying on you."
Her mouth dropped open with a gasp. I chuckled, reaching forward to brush her collarbones with my fingertips. "I didn't see anything past here," I said, tracing the water line at the top of her breasts then quickly retreating back up to her collarbones. "I promise. But I won't apologize. It was the most gloriously beautiful sight I'd ever seen." I slid my thumb lightly over her bottom lip then pulled away. "Until today at least."
She startled me slightly when she giggled. "I don't suppose I mind too much. Your white underpants hadn't left a whole lot to the imagination when I stared shamelessly after you swam."
My mouth copied hers as it dropped open in an "o" shape. I think I even felt my cheeks burn hotly. "Did you—did you like what you saw then?" I asked timidly.
Her hand slid up my calves, past my knees, and she squeezed lightly on my lower thighs. "Oh yes," she replied, "very much."
I had to bite my lip to keep from groaning. Suddenly a question came to my mind and I couldn't stop myself before I blurted it out.
"Bella, you know the day my father gave us that talk." She nodded slowly, confusion wrinkling into her brow again. "Um…" I hesitated, just now realizing how possibly humiliating my question could be.
"Go on," she urged, squeezing my thigh again.
I shook my head, slowly. "Never mind, love."
I swear I felt her scoot a bit closer to me. "Edward, you're my husband, you can ask me anything."
A whoosh of air left my lips and I unthinkingly leaned hastily across the tub to plaster my mouth to hers. It was the first time, since becoming her husband, that she'd called me her husband. It was official now, and I couldn't contain both the joy and possessiveness it evoked from me.
Her breath entered my mouth as a gasp as my chest bumped with hers. Our naked chests rubbed together like flint, sparking in a dangerous, yet amazing way. Her breasts were soft and full against my chest and their peaks were pointed and prodding my chest in such a way that made me want to see exactly what they were doing. My own nipples seemed to tighten, and though I'd never felt the urge to touch them, they were begging to feel her fingers pinching and pulling on them, her lips sucking and biting. I wondered if that's what her's felt like too.
Just as quickly as I'd invaded her side of the tub, I was back to mine, panting slightly. The question, the question, the question, I reminded myself. What question?
Oh, yes. "I wanted to know, if maybe, later, maybe, if you were okay with it, you could tell me, or possibly show me, what you did that night?"
She blinked furiously. Her eyes darted from my left to my right and her gaze seemed clouded. "What?" she asked.
"I'm sorry," I blurted. I raked my hand through my hair, then quickly pinched the bridge of my nose as I leaned my head back. "It was stupid for me to ask. I'm sorry I offended you."
"What?" she simply asked again. I met her eyes again, only see utter confusion. "I'm not—I'm not offended, Edward. I'm… confused. What are you talking about? Show you what?"
I sighed. "You remember what he talked to us about?" I asked. She nodded, her cheeks flaming. Oh yes, she remembered. "That night, I heard you and Alice. I was just…" I trailed off and sighed. "Love, we both know you can make me…happy. I don't know what I'm doing though, and I just wondered if maybe you could show me?"
"What?" she asked again. This time I actually heard her confusion and didn't mistake it for revulsion.
"I was in my room. I could hear you giggling. And you said my name. You were…. I want you to show me how, so I can make you happy too."
She looked like she was going to say "what" again but then her mouth flew open and a loud, "Oh!" came out. Followed by a firm, "No!"
I shrank back at the word. I knew I shouldn't have asked. Stupid, stupid curiosity. How improper of a husband, to inquire of his wife's masturbatory habits and practically beg her to show him. Revolting.
"Oh, Edward, no. I wasn't…" she trailed off and the water sloshed as she moved. Her hand gripped mine and she pulled slightly. "Look at me please, Edward," she pleaded.
I met her eyes ashamedly. I didn't want to see her horror-struck eyes directed at me again, but I couldn't deny her. Her brown eyes were pleading and soft, only love there.
"I wasn't telling you no," she said. "Edward, I just wasn't doing what you thought I was doing." I was a bit disbelieving, she must have noticed this as she went on. "Alice and I were giggling over the things Carlisle told us, that is true, and she asked me if I had done it. Neither of us had, nor did we feel the urge to. She just asked me who I would think about if I did. I wouldn't answer so she told me she'd think of Jasper. I guess I didn't even realize I'd said your name. I was thinking about you…" Her voice grew quiet and her eyes seemed to darken as we continued to stare into each other.
"You didn't-" I started to ask.
She cut me off. "No. I haven't. I wanted to let you do it." Her cheeks flamed.
My possessive side was thrilled. No one had touched her there. Not even herself. She would be mine so fully when I did. Only mine. Forever.
We both continued to stare at each other and my heart was palpitating over the fact that her hand seemed to be going further and further up my thigh as she leaned toward me.
"Edward," she whispered, "I love you very much."
"I know, my Bella," I replied, "I love you exactly the same."
Her hands gripped my thighs and she brought her body towards me, completely draping her body over mine as she pressed our lips together. My hands moved to her neck to pull her mouth closer to mine. Her hands drifted up my thighs and as she passed over my lower stomach, her wrist just barely brushed the side of my erection, causing me to hiss and buck my hips up so hard that out bodies crashed together awkwardly, resetting our position.
Her thighs were now over one of mine, my thigh pressed directly between hers. Her mouth gasped against mine as I pressed my leg against her and she pushed her hips against me, rocking slightly and pressing her flat, soft belly against my erection, trapping it between our two hot bodies.
We both moaned as we rocked with each other, panting into each others mouth as our tongue pushed and rubbed against the others, freezing on occasion when something felt particularly good.
All too suddenly, Bella pulled her mouth away from mine, which left my face in her neck from the force I'd been pressing my mouth to hers with.
"Edward?" she asked pleadingly.
I reeled back quickly. What had I done wrong? I met her eyes, searching for pain, discomfort, revulsion.
"Edward, please. I need you now. Please tell me you'll be with me. I need you inside of me."
I couldn't answer verbally. I gave her a physical answer as I put one arm around her bottom and one on the edge of the tub to brace myself as I stood up with both of our weights.
When we were vertical, my one arm couldn't keep her weight perfectly in place so she slid down slightly, putting her womanly heat right against my erection.
"Oh," I groaned, trying to step over the edge of the tub without killing us as she wrapped her arms and legs around me.
Her hair was partially wet, dark and sticking to her breasts as I laid her out on our mattress. We both seemed to do the same thing; my eyes followed every exposed inch of her body and she did the same for me.
Her pink nipples stood hard against the soft, pale fullness of her breasts. The expanse of her torso was long and smooth. The slight curve of her hips drew me towards the apex of her thighs. The hair on her there intrigued me and I gently brushed my finger against it, reveling in its softness – both the hair and the skin beneath it.
She made a breathy sound and I shot forward, crashing our lips together in both a rough and loving kiss. Her breathing was loud through her nose so I moved my lips to her throat kissing downwards and not stopping.
"You are so," I punctuated with a kiss. "So," another kiss. "So," a kiss, and more so's as I continued to kiss. Her collarbones, her breasts, the tight pink nipples, the baby soft skin of her tummy, the dipped in button of her belly, the curve of each hips, that soft hair of her sex. "Beautiful," I breathed against it. Her hips squirmed and I leaned in and kissed it again, inhaling deeply this time as I got this close.
It smelled like Bella. So sweet, stronger than I imagined. A faint pungentness was mixed with the fruity, floral smell of her. I groaned as my mouth watered, wanting me to put my tongue on her there. Would she like that? I think I would.
Before I could find out, her fingers were in my hair, pulling me up again.
"Please Edward, I need to feel you inside of me," she said again.
My body reacted like a well-trained pet, obeying her words and throbbing for her, almost nodding in agreement. "Are you sure?" I asked with my brain, as my father told me I should.
"Yes," she nearly whimpered, her body coming up off the mattress to meet mine.
She was sure. She was ready. I ached and throbbed for her, my need somehow intensifying.
"Isabella," I started, my voice surprisingly rough sounding to my ears, "I don't want to hurt you. You must promise to tell me if it hurts."
She nodded and her eyes slowly scanned down my body, stopping again on my arousal. "It is very large looking," she assessed. "I think you'll have to go slow to make it fit."
I could see the slightly fearful look in her eyes as she met mine again. I softly pressed my lips to hers, showing her I could be gentle and slow, anything she needed.
Her smalls hands surprised me when they were both wrapped around my almost painful erection. Her flesh seemed to burn me, it felt so good. She pulled gently on me and my hips followed. Her fingers guided me to her virginal opening and I sucked in a sharp breath as the heat of our flesh met.
I felt a sticky wetness there as my hips arched forward. It was slick. It was her arousal, I assumed. She really wanted me. There was a lot of it and it made her tight opening easier to push into.
Her fingers left from my penis and she gripped my shoulders. I watched her face as I pushed forward. Discomfort was evident in every feature. Her lips were tight, her eyes were squeezed shut, her nose was wrinkled slighty, her brow scrunching together, but she didn't seem in pain. I moved forward slower than sin, fisting the blankets on either side of her head and biting my tongue to keep myself in reality. My body was begging me to push, and to push hard, against her until I couldn't push anymore. My body told me to completely fill her body with me and then to take it away and do it over again. Over and over until I was sated. But I wouldn't let it because it was wrong. She was sure to be in pain if I did that.
My slow, so slow, forward momentum was stopped suddenly as I ran into a barrier and her eyes shot open. I heard a gasp get caught in her throat. I froze, unsure of what to do now. Backing out seemed to be the best option, so I started to pull away and her nails bit into my hips so hard when she grabbed me that my body jolted forward. Then a strangled cry came out of her mouth and tears welled out of her eyes.
"No," I breathed. "No. No. No. Bella. I'm sorry. Oh no. I hurt you. Oh God. Bella."
I needed to get out of her. I needed to stop hurting her. And when I moved, she cried out again and her nails raked hard up my spine to the middle of my back. As much as I wanted to pull away from the pain again, I couldn't for the fear of hurting her further. I deserved the sting of her nails scraping my back. That and so much worse.
"Don't move," she cried. "Please don't move."
"Bella," I choked out.
"Just please don't move," she begged, her nails digging into the tensed muscles of my back, gouging at my skin.
I remained completely still, afraid to even breathe. She did the same, tears falling off the sides of her closed eyes.
I was in agony. This was hell. She was crying from the pain and I was almost on the verge of tears myself, from the torture my body was trapped in.
She was so hot, the soft slick insides of her inner walls gripped at me tightly, encompassing me in heat, and wet, and tight. I was in halfway, the other half stuck out in the cold air begging to be let inside. The heat was so inviting, but her tear leaking eyes told me otherwise. I wasn't welcome here. I caused her pain. And I couldn't leave because moving at all would hurt her further. I was going to be stuck here forever, halfway inside of my wife's no longer virginal vagina, dying to put myself all the way in or pull out. Neither of which I could do.
It felt like hours of hell worthy agony. If a man needed to be tortured, this was a technique that needed to be used. No man could live for long in this kind of hell. For as long as I stayed there, my arms aching from my tensed weight, my mouth a tight line of silence, not moving, hardly even to breathe, a cruel whimper dragged against my throat to my tongue and tickled my cheeks. It didn't get past my lips but I knew she heard the muffled sound.
Her insides seemed to quiver around me and everything grew ten times worse. Fire was raking through my loins, my thighs burned as if someone was branding each inch of the flesh. My testicles were quite possibly sitting in boiling water.
Her hips shifted. No, was my only thought. She couldn't move. Neither of us could move. Something bad was going to happen and I didn't want it to. She shifted again. Killing me slower. Her final move was arching her hips up to take the tiniest sliver of me more inside of her.
I broke. I crumbled. My knees and elbows gave and I just barely caught myself from crushing her, but ended up buried completely in her body.
Her hips tilted up at an odd angle and a cry broke from her lips. I wanted to sob. I was a selfish beast. No one should ever have loved me, least of all the pure, sweet woman that I was constantly hurting beneath me.
I'd already made her endure so much, it almost seemed more feasible to simply cut off my penis than to have to extract it from her. There was nothing sharp around though and the only way to stop this pain for her was to just get out. I hoped she could handle just this last remnant of pain as I got my evil body out of her pure one.
She didn't protest my pulling out and I couldn't look at the pain on her face anymore, so I just closed my eyes as I tried to remove myself. Success, if I could call it that, was just a hairsbreadth away. She hadn't made anymore noises of pain and her nails weren't cutting into me anymore. I was nearly done hurting her.
Just as I was going to take it out from her, her legs clamped hard around me. Her heels dug into my bottom, and she pulled. And my unsuspecting body was rocketed forward again, completely back inside of her. My ears rang with the sound of her crying out. Her nails bit into my shoulders. Her hips pushed at the awkward angle. I was so deep within her, I could feel her heart racing.
And it felt so ungodly good. "Bella," I groaned. What had she done? I couldn't take this. I…just…couldn't. Why would she do this? How could she put me back in this position? Was she trying to make this more unbearable – for both of us?
Her hips seemed to leave the mattress as she used her heels dug into my back to bring my body somehow closer to hers. She made a moaning sound and my eyes shot open, searching out her face. That sound had made my stomach tighten, in a good way, because it had almost sounded…pleasurable.
Her eyes were locked on mine the second I found them. They were tear free and an unrecognizable dark brown.
"Bella," I begged. I was unsure about everything.
Everything felt too good for me inside of her. I couldn't think straight. I was confusing her pain for pleasure.
"Do it again," she said in a rough voice.
My eyes widened with shock and her hands went to my hips. Her legs loosened and she pushed back on my hips. I followed her guiding movements and pulled away from her again. I intended to pull out. She once again didn't let me as she forced me forward into her.
Her cry rang right into my ear and made my gut tighten. I still couldn't distinguish if it was pleasure or pain. Her hips rocked back and forth against me and she whimpered in my ear.
"Edward, again," she begged.
So I did it again, this time having no intentions to pull out, unless she pushed me out. She didn't, she pulled me right back into the heat and out bodies made a clapping sound upon connecting fully.
She cried out and her back arched up off the mattress, flattening her chest against mine as her hips writhed forward and back again.
"Bella, I can't…I can't…" I couldn't articulate, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything.
"It's okay," she sighed, running her soft warm palms all over my back and down to my bottom, which she squeezed tightly. I grunted, pumping my hips hard against her, rocking her whole body. She cried out again, her nails digging pleasurably into my backside.
I lost it.
My movements were choppy and uncontrolled as I pulled out and thrust back into her. She continued to cry out in that way that I had no idea if it was pain or pleasure, and I was past caring. Everything was warm and wet, from her panting against my neck to the slapping of our bodies as we came together.
I kept one arm against the bed to hold my weight as I continued to thrust into the tight heat of her body and my other hand groped her flesh. Her breasts were soft under my fingers and I squeezed, making her cry out louder. This time she used a word to cry out.
"Yes," she called.
My hand went to her side where I again palmed and squeezed her pliant flesh. The same for her hip. Her thigh. Her bottom.
My hand went to the soft hair that was against my belly and I rubbed her mound with my hand as I continued the thrusting motion my hips were making. She cried out more. I felt her tighten around me once, pulsing.
Absorbed in the way she reacted, I pressed my hand to her firmer there and she gasped and called and cried and moaned. I was no longer unsure. She was feeling pleasure.
I grunted and groaned against the skin of her neck while our bodies continued to slap together in a pleasuring way. My hand rotated against her mound and my finger pressed more fully into the heat she emitted.
"Edward," she cried breathlessly.
My stomach coiled at that sound – my name. Beneath my fingers, I could feel a tight little nub and my hazy brain slowly put the pieces together as I realized this was the "bundle of nerves" Carlisle had referred to as the clitoris.
Her hips jumped up to collide with mine so forcefully when I rubbed my fingers against it that I thought she might have broken something. Her cry was practically a scream.
Bella's hands moved to my hair, her fingers knotting into it and pulling, her nails scraping and digging into my skull.
"Bella," I grunted a final time, feeling the coils snap.
My testicles tightened in a familiar way and I felt the rush of semen start to shoot from my body into hers. Sparks seemed to be dancing over every inch of my heated, sweaty skin and my hips started to jerk around erratically. Wholly male sounds came from my throat while Bella rivaled me with girlish high-pitched ones.
It was an incredible feeling. One words cannot explain. But as soon as my body began to empty into hers, I felt an mind-blowing clenching feeling from her inner muscles.
When it was over, we both wilted. I rolled, extracting myself from her, before I could crush her by collapsing. Our panting matched the others.
Coming to my senses, I quickly asked her, "Bella, are you okay?"
The smile she gave me was really enough to reassure me, but the incoherent mumbles that came from her mouth just made me smile uncontrollably. Finally, I understood a, "So much better than okay."
She continued to smile when I rolled and kissed her. Our lips smacked loudly. I sighed happily bringing her face to rest against my chest.
The last thing I remember was us murmuring our love for each other, our fingers twined, and Bella's still heavy pants on my chest.
The End.
A/N: There is always a lot of speculation over the endings of my stories. Let me just say that I for one am not a writer who likes to decide how many children a character should have - unless that aspect is specifically called for. I like to leave an ending a bit open for the reader to decide for themselves. I don't want to tell you what color to imagine their house as or if their first kid will be a boy or girl. It's just how I am. My apologies if you have been left unfulfilled.
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