All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
This chapter has been beta'd by the ever amazing: Strae
It was amusing – albeit painful – to me how as soon as Bella and I weren't touching anymore, my shoulder throbbed. The throbbing was good though. It was healing, still oddly faster than my father could believe. The hole was barely there anymore. An ugly scab and the throb were my only reminders of the arrow. Bella noticed my wince and came to me, rubbing a soothing circle with her fingers into my arm. I fought the pain back and gave her a tight smile, which she returned, worry written all over her face. We had a silent conversation that took place between our eyes and facial expressions. I convinced her to let go of my arm and I helped her into the saddle and I mounted up behind her.
I rode closer to her than I normally would with my arms lightly around her waist, and occasionally my head on her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind; she may even have liked it.
I closed my eyes. When I reopened them, the sun that I could barely find was hidden behind some clouds and at a weird angle in the sky. I quickly realized I had my eyes closed for hours. I'd fallen asleep. I sat up straight, taking my extra burden of weight off of Bella.
When she smiled at me over her shoulder, I glared. "Why didn't you wake me?" I asked.
She grumbled unintelligibly to herself for a few moments then said, "Because you were tired."
I glared harder. "You are tired too. I've been crushing you for how many hours now."
She rolled her eyes at me. "You were hardly crushing me, Edward. Your head isn't that big. Then again…" she trailed off pointedly.
"You are tired," I decided for her. "We're switching places. Come on, hop down and you can ride in back and take a nap on me now."
"No," Bella stated plainly.
"Yes. Now," I tried.
"No," she said firmly.
"Woman!" I growled, losing my temper.
"Call me by my name or do not talk to me at all," she snapped at me.
I ground my teeth together to keep from saying something I'd regret. I moved my hands from around her and refrained from touching her at all. Even my legs were a respectable distance away from her.
She was an indignant wench. A stubborn, indignant wench. And impossibly hard to be mad at. I felt terrible for even thinking to myself that she was any type of wench at all. I was a bastard, a terrible bastard, for ever thinking such a thing about the woman that I claimed to love, did love.
A fight was bound to happen eventually. We were both tenacious and opinionated. But now that it did happen, I had no idea what to do about it. Do I just let it be? She probably wanted her space, which was rather difficult on horseback, but maybe if I kept quiet she'd feel distant enough from me to calm down. Was I supposed to apologize? Now? Later? What if she didn't want to speak to me? What if she wouldn't forgive me?
I couldn't imagine how terrible I'd made her feel. It was tactless of me to try to control her when she'd recently been controlled and imprisoned. I couldn't wait until later. And I had to apologize, even if I didn't know where to start. Even if she wouldn't forgive me and wouldn't listen to me or answer me. I couldn't leave her, I promised I wouldn't and I didn't want to, so I had to do right by her.
Ever so lightly, I placed my hand on her hip. She flinched away from it but I kept it there and I scooted as close to the back of the saddle seat as I could get. I wrapped my other arm lightly around her waist and I leaned forward until my head was again at her shoulder. I hugged her rigid form gently from behind. I lowered my face to her hair and pressed further until I could feel her skin as well. I kept my face in the crook of her neck, her hair surrounding me, and I pressed my lips softly against her skin.
"I'm so sorry," I said. I wanted to be more detailed, but I didn't know where to start, so I went way back to the beginning. "I'm sorry they found you. I'm sorry you lost your family. I'm sorry they held you prisoner. I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. I'm sorry for anything I've ever done or said wrong to you. I'm sorry for being pushy. I'm sorry if you feel trapped. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want." It was like word vomit, I started and I couldn't stop – it just kept coming out. "I'm sorry if you hate us for trying to replace what you had, I know we won't. I'm sorry if I'm not what you want. I'm sorry for making you feel obligated to stay if you don't want to. I'm sorry for-"
"Edward stop!" Her voice rang through my ramblings. "You can't be so guilty," she said, her voice sounding surprised like. "You can't blame yourself. None of it is your fault." I started to interrupt her, but she wouldn't let me. "No, Edward, listen to me. I do love you. You are absolutely right about one thing though, you can't replace what I had."
She looked at me over her shoulder and I tried to force a calm face, but I must have failed because her face fell even further. I'd been the one who said it in the first place, but hearing her confirm it made me impossibly sad. It shouldn't have, I logically knew that she would always love them more than she could love any of us, but that hadn't kept me from hoping.
"Edward, you can't replace what I had because you are nothing like what I've ever had." Her words pieced my heart like a knife, or maybe like an arrow, since that was more fitting. I was nothing like she'd had. But she settled for me because I was slightly better than the monsters that had tried to have her first. I was just slightly better than nothing to her.
"Edward, would you listen to me?" she said, her eyes pleading as I tried not to look as heartbroken as I felt.
"I hear you loud and clear, Bella." My voice came out exactly as I'd hoped it would. Numb and indifferent, almost dead sounding to the ears.
"Get off," she demanded, pulling Ginger up short for me to dismount.
A flicker of anger flashed through my numb indifference. I wanted to tell her no. Ginger was my horse. But I was hopeless. I would do anything she asked. Even if she regarded me as only slightly better than nothing to her, I was still hers. It would have been childish to tell her that she could get off. I obeyed numbly and wordlessly. She followed immediately after me and I didn't reach to help her down like I usually would. She stumbled slightly when she met the ground and I fought not to reach out and steady her. She seemed surprised by my lack of action.
I attempted, for once, not memorizing her face when I looked at her, but I couldn't help studying it. Her eyes were sad as she stared up at me. Her brow was wrinkled so terribly my fingers were actually twitching with the need to press it straight. Her mouth quivered when she spoke again.
"You can't replace them because you're new to me, Edward. I've never loved a man that wasn't my father or brother. You can't replace something I've never had, but you can make your own place. You already have. You have a place in me already. You'll be my husband and you have a place in me. In my heart and everywhere else, you are part of me now."
I slowly let her words sink in, each one slowly making more sense than the last. She continued on while I tried to make sense of it all.
"Your family can't replace mine, because they are yours. I've only ever had my family. Your family will become ours."
She placed her hands on either side of my face. Her eyes beseeched mine with earnest as she stared unwaveringly into them. "I do love you. You have to believe me. I love you in a way that I've never loved anyone before." She shook her head slowly, only taking her eyes off of mine for a moment. "I don't even know how to describe what I feel for you, Edward. I've never loved someone so much before. I've never wanted to kiss someone the way we kiss. I've never wanted to feel someone's hands on me before yours. I never needed to see someone so badly. I've never needed to know someone loved me so much. You make me want all these things, from you. I. Want. You." She punctuated each word precisely. Her eyes continued to search and beg with mine, needing to know if I felt the same.
I placed my hands over hers on my face, never breaking her eyes contact, and slowly let my fingers glide across her skin as I followed the curve of her arms. I continued to follow down her ribcage and I wrapped my arms lightly around her waist, slowly stepping in closer to her.
"Bella," I whispered. With more force than I intended I pulled her to me, crushing her little body against my chest. She gasped from the force and I realized I was holding her so tightly her feet weren't even on the ground.
"I feel the same," I rushed out. "It's confusing and frightening to love someone so much. I'm so afraid I'm going to make a mistake and you are going to run screaming but I can't help but always wanting to be close to you. Closer to you even than I have been. I want you too. I love you too. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling any better than the perfect words that you used."
She made a breathless sound that could have been a sigh, but I assumed I was actually literally just crushing the breath right out of her lungs. I mumbled an apology when I set her back to her feet, only to be then overcome with the urge to kiss her.
I really was hopeless. The way her hair blew in the breeze made me reach forward to catch the flying tendrils of hair, just to be overwhelmed by their softness. Hopelessly, I leaned in to feel the softness against my face, which lead to many deep breaths of her scent. When she leaned her head back slightly, I became lost in her deep brown, wide eyes and slowly began to lose consciousness of my thought process. Movement brought my eyes to her lips where her tongue peeked out and coated them. Her red lips stood so full and inviting against her pale skin. Her invitation was undeniable.
I leaned in slowly, just lightly grazing her lips with mine. I felt a warm puff of air come from between her lips and fan against mine and with as little warning as I'd given her, she crushed herself to me. Her fingers came to my hair and she pulled herself impossibly close. Even when I pulled back slightly in surprise, she followed, not letting a hairsbreadth come between our lips.
Time stood still. The Earth possibly stood still. I imagined everything was moving in slow motion as I pressed my lips back into hers. Her reaction was unexpected to say the least, shocking really. We weren't remotely close to anyone else anymore, as we had stopped and had been riding behind anyway, but we were still clearly visible to them. I'd expected the light graze of our lips to be the most affection she would allow. She continued to crush her body to me though.
Thoroughly more shocking was the gasp she gave followed by the pointed rotation of her hips. I'd been very diligent in remaining careful about the placement of my hips before this. I didn't want her to think me ungentlemanly or a pig, so I kept myself safely away from her, whether I felt hard there or not. Now was certainly not one of the 'or not' times. I was regretful of my position against her, so close she could feel how excited her touch made me. It was ungentlemanly, and I never would blame her for thinking I was a pig and slapping my face.
She did pull her lips away from mine. Her brow was wrinkled again, this time in confusion as she leaned into me. She pressed herself against that part of my body and I gasped with surprise. Both at her rubbing on it again and the feeling it elicited.
I pulled back the moment she started to move again. This was very inappropriate. She was curious, I could see, in the way she was wrinkling her brow and I allowed her to touch me in an unacceptable way though I knew it to be so. Despite pulling away, I still ached. Her eyes darted down my body to the front of my trousers and I felt very ashamed. I wished I could hide it. It felt big and very noticeable. And wrong.
I knew of sex. A boy at school had told us about it. His older brother told him about it. I knew male and females were different down there. Somehow the parts came together and that was how women were able to bear children. The parts connecting would make the woman swell with pregnancy and it was not unless you were married that anything should ever happen between the two.
I knew Bella made mine feel good. Like it wanted to connect with hers for her to bear a child. It was highly unacceptable for me to think that when we weren't married. Marriage and the acts of marriage were sacred. Bella making mine feel good, so good I wanted it to connect with hers was not sanctified by love alone.
With a feeling of regret for my actions, I decided to just get back on the horse. It was better than her looking at me. It was uncomfortable to sit in the saddle with the problem I was having, but the discomfort subsided rather quickly. I offered my arm to Bella and she pulled herself up behind me.
"A girl at school used to talk about how boys grew big," Bella said with wonder. "I didn't believe her. That was very big." I felt my face heat up with embarrassment. Oddly, I felt Bella's own do the same against the side of my neck where she rested her head. "I'm sorry. It is very unladylike for me to say something like that."
I didn't bother telling her that for some reason I liked it. I just told her it was okay.
– – –
Night fell quickly. Catching up with the other's didn't take long, as they weren't far ahead, and once we were all together again, Bella did fall asleep against my shoulder. We didn't stop riding through the night.
The darkness didn't appear to faze my father who seemed to know exactly where he was going. I didn't doubt my father often, but everything looked the same here, especially in the dark. I only kept quiet because he wasn't a foolish man. He wouldn't continue to ride on with his family following if he didn't know exactly what he was looking for.
Still, I was surprised when straight north of us, I could spot distant buildings. Town. My eyes flashed to my father who was smiling very broadly. Our town. Our home.
I couldn't decide if waking Bella would be foolish or not. I shook her gently and watched her eyes part slowly. Focus and recognition slowly came to her and her mouth curved into a smile I would have died to see. I was more excited by her reaction to our town than my own sighting of it. I lived to see her happy. I suddenly couldn't wait to take her to our house. I couldn't wait to see her reactions to everything. I wanted to see her eating breakfast at a table. I wanted to see her standing on a porch. I wanted to see her sleeping in a bed. I very, very much wanted to see her sleeping in a bed.
The town was dark and quiet. Everyone was asleep and we all glanced around to take in what was offered. There was a saloon, a barber shop, a police stand and jailhouse, a meat store, and one of the largest shops I'd ever seen. The windows were large and displayed long shelves full of items. There was a large, fancy looking hotel on one side of the street and on the other side, was another inn that was still lit up and music playing. It looked run down and filthy. My liking of the town plummeted somewhat at the sight of the grotesque, dirty man laying in front of the door of the building.
We continued to ride on. There were many houses. There was a large church and a nice schoolhouse, then my father stopped and all of us did the same, following his line of sight. Just down from us were two houses. The largest house held a big sign in its yard that read, "Dr. Carlisle Cullen." The neighboring house was much smaller and was Emmett and Rosalie's. Still, that house had three bedrooms, which made me realize just how large the main Cullen house was in comparison. I couldn't wait to get to it.
Bella hugged my waist tight as we rode forward and I could feel her excitement. We all dismounted rather hastily but waited for father to be the first to push the front gate open. He was moving very slowly and I wasn't surprised when an excited Emmett and Rosalie ran off toward their home instead. My mouth fell open further with every step I took.
The house was enormous. Starting off on the porch, I couldn't believe the expanse of the house's length. There were so many windows. And the deck above of the porch looked promising. Inside was an immediate waiting room. There were already chairs there and a desk. The right was doored off and to the left was the reason for the expanse of the house. There were many beds for patients. I noticed another door and knew that would be where father kept supplies and would occasionally take a patient for extensive procedures.
It was much larger than father had back east. Back east there had been no room in our home for patients. There he'd had another small building for his work alone and he was home very little. Time had been consumed for him there. Now, he could work at home.
By the look on my father's face, it was clear he didn't want to move on from the hospital section yet, but he did nonetheless. We went through the door on the right and I gasped. There were couches, and books, and a piano. It was a blur from there on out. There was a kitchen downstairs. A bathing room. Then upstairs were three large bedrooms. One for my parents. One for Bella and Alice. One for me.
My parents room was the largest and on the side with the stairs. Our rooms attached to the deck. The room that was supposed to be mine had two small beds together to make one large bed, now my room had one small bed that would have been fine for Alice. Dad gave me an apologetic look. I didn't care. I gladly helped him separate the two small beds onto opposite sides of the room, one for Alice and one for my Bella.
It was oddly familiar as we all said goodnight to one another and went to our rooms.
A bed. So warm, so welcoming, so perfect for the dreadfully tired. I'd never been so happy to fall onto a mattress in my life. Never so frustrated when I couldn't fall asleep. Never so bothered by the reason I knew I couldn't sleep. And again never so happy as my reason came tiptoeing through my door.
"I can't sleep," whispered my beautiful reason for happiness, and sleeplessness.
"Me either," I whispered back.
She ran on her tiptoes to my bed and I held up with blankets for her. She sighed gratefully as I wrapped her in my arms. And sidled closer. I allowed it. Then her lower half moved closer yet. I pulled back, until I was just barely on the bed anymore. Still she moved closer.
"Bella," I warned. She was too damn curious for anyone's well being.
"What?" she asked innocently.
She scooted closer again. "You know what," I said.
"I'm just trying to get comfortable. Quit moving. I'm cold." I knew every excuse was a lie. But I couldn't deny her anyway.
I moved just slightly towards her and she pressed our bodies flush. She squirmed against me. "Bella," I growled.
"I just want to feel it again," she muttered into my chest.
I groaned. It knew she did. And it had a life of its own. It was more than willing to do whatever she wanted, ignoring my mental cursings as it grew big and hard again.
She giggled. Then she pushed on it with her thigh. I hissed and firmly said, "Don't."
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No," I answered honestly. It kind of ached, but it wasn't in an all bad way. She moved against it again and I gasped. I grabbed her hip firmly and pushed her away. "That is enough. Don't do it again."
The tone of my voice was supposed to say that it was final, but Bella just kept staring at me with wide eyes. I knew she wasn't going to let this go.
"That girl, that said those things…she said something else too," her voice was barely audible as her lips moved. "She told us about how her brother used to let her touch his. She told us how he really liked it and said how good it felt."
"Isabella," I hissed, "this is wrong. What the girl told you was wrong for her to say and she shouldn't have said those things, or done them."
"I know," Bella said, "but I don't care." She was silent for long enough for me to relax slightly, hoping she'd let it go. Of course, she hadn't. "She told us how when he got really excited, stuff would come out of it, then he'd go to sleep."
"Enough," I spat harshly. She just blinked. I was not showing her what came out of it. The only image I had in my head was puppies piddling on people's feet when they got excited and I couldn't believe any such thing would make someone happy. "Go to sleep."
She closed her eyes and I did the same. When her hand landed on me, I just about jumped out of bed. She put her hand right on my hard thing and her fingers curled around it through my thin trousers. A strangled sound came out of my mouth and I bit my lip to shut myself up.
This was so bad and so wrong. But with her hand around it, everything in my body just screamed at me to push against her hand. I did. I moved my hips against her hand and turned my face into the pillow beneath my head to let out the noise that came up my throat. My hips moved again. Then again. My head said stop and assured me of how wrong this was, but everything else in my body fought for me to keep going.
She moved closer to me and her mouth was right against my lips when she spoke. "It does feel good, doesn't it?" she asked curiously.
"Yes," I whimpered helplessly. Oh, it felt so good. Like little sparks were dancing across my skin. Like a fire glowed in my body and it burned just warm enough for a glowing feel.
"Is stuff coming out yet?" she asked excitedly.
As I continued to pressed the hard length against her hand, I thought about it. I could feel something sort of wet. I blushed darkly and lied, "No."
Her fingers curled tighter around me, making me grunt, though certainly not in pain. "Maybe I'm not doing it right," she wondered aloud.
She was definitely doing it right. I don't think anything had ever felt so good in my life. My hips were picking up pace with each pass, seemingly without me telling them to. I felt something tighten in my stomach and I looked at Bella confusedly. As my body pushed me harder into her hand, the tightening spread and I threw my hand over my mouth. My eyes grew wide. I had no idea what was happening, but it was equally as frightening as it was empowering. My hips jerked hard and I could feel it then. Something was definitely coming out of it.
Shocked, I pulled away from Bella, nearly falling off the bed. I used both my hands to cover the front of my trousers and tried to stop it. But my grabbing it to stop it made it all come out. It came out in bursts, making my body feel light and weightless, but somehow still tight and heavy. It felt good. Then it stopped. And my pants were warm and wet. I was embarrassed when Bella sat up and looked at me.
"Stuff came out of it, didn't it?" she said, a huge smile on her face.
Stuff. Warm, wet stuff. Sticky stuff. It wasn't…it wasn't the stuff I thought was going to come out of it. Surprised further, I moved my hands and grabbed the front of my trousers. It was not at all what I expected. Hesitantly, I used my thumbs to quickly pull up the edge of my pants to look. It was dark, but I could kind of see the sticky stuff. It was whitish. I hurriedly placed my hands back over the front of my pants.
"Let me see," Bella begged. "I want to see it."
"No," I hissed. "Bella this was so wrong. I can't believe…I'm not letting you see it."
She pouted her bottom lip out at me. "I wanted to watch it."
I sighed. "We're not married. We can't be naked together until we're married. And you shouldn't have done what you did. And we're never doing it again."
"But it felt good," she said. "I could tell you liked it."
I almost said "regardless" or "nevertheless", but I realized that would have been admitting I liked it. "No," I lied. "I didn't like it. It didn't feel good. We can't do it again."
She frowned. Her whole mouth curved down into the opposite of what made me happy and her eyes teared up. "You didn't like it?"
"No, Bella, I'm sorry. Let's go to sleep."
She finally laid down without touching me between my legs with any part of her body.
"I love you," I said, guilty for lying to her. I leaned over and kissed her lightly.
She didn't exactly kiss back, she seemed preoccupied. Slowly, she mumbled, "Love you too," back to me.
I laid with my arm over her waist and waited until her eyes started to sag drowsily to shut my own.
– – –
My door flying open raucously the following morning had me up out of bed before my eyes were even open. I heard someone sigh and opened my eyes to find both of my parents standing in the doorway. The initial feelings of ease that followed the bursting in was quickly displaced by anger.
"Edward, here, now," came my father's voice. I quickly darted my eyes to Bella who looked frightened. I sent her a smile before nervously moving towards my father. My pants felt stiff and I realized that the sticky stuff was dried from last night. It was uncomfortable, but I ignored it.
As soon as I was out of the room, the door was closed behind me and I froze. Mom was in there with Bella.
"Edward," came my father's voice. He pointedly jerked his head for me to follow. When I didn't he sighed and walked back to me. "Come on," he said, grabbing my upper arm.
I threw his arm off. "She can't yell at Bella," I stated firmly in a quiet voice.
"Give your mother some credit, Edward," my dad told me. "You know she doesn't yell." He saw my pointed look and added, "much. This is not one of those times. Come on."
With a deep breath, I followed him into his and Mom's bedroom. He closed the door behind us. "Edward, this is highly unacceptable." I flinched at his words. What did he know? Then he added, "you and Bella cannot do what you did last night."
"It wasn't her fault," I immediately said.
"Edward," my father sighed exasperatedly.
"You can't blame her. I'll leave with her if you send her away."
"Edward," he tried again.
"I could have stopped her," I blurted. "She's so small compared to me, I could have made her stop. I didn't really want her to. I let her do it. It wasn't her fault, she was just curious. It was me, don't punish Bella."
"What on earth are you talking about?" my father asked.
I realized quickly that I'd just walked myself right into a trap. He couldn't have any idea what Bella and I had done last night. But now he did. "Nothing," I lied quickly.
My father chuckled. "Kid, you know I'm not that stupid. Tell me right now what happened."
I was so guilty and confused myself that I recounted the entire thing. I left out the part where I pushed Bella away so she couldn't get in trouble any more than I could. In detail, I explained what happened.
"Oh," was my father's answer to my breathless admission.
"Oh?" I asked confusedly.
"Sit down, Edward," my father said, his face looked grim. I did as he asked. "I'm sorry," is how he started and I know the surprise and confusion was blatantly written all over my face. My father sighed, grimaced, than sat across from me. "I should have had this talk with you sooner. I guess my excuse is that you seemed to be maturing so much slower than Emmett. Emmett became very curious about his body and girls much younger than you did. This is-"
The door burst open and my mother looked as grim as my father did, Bella was in front of her, tripping over her own feet as she rushed towards me. "I'm sorry," she gasped at me. "I thought they were going to be angry with you so I told her the truth. I told her everything I did to you. I'm sorry." She turned to my father. "You can't punish him, it was my fault."
"Bella, no one is going to get punished," my father stated calmly. "Please have a seat next to Edward."
Biting her lip, giving me the epitome of apologetic eyes, and moving slower than a turtle, she took a seat next to me.
My father sighed again before starting. "This could be an uncomfortable conversation. Bella, it might be easier for you to have this conversation with Esme instead-"
"No," Bella said firmly. She grabbed my hand and held on tight. "I'm not leaving Edward."
I couldn't stop a chuckle and smile from breaking the hard line of my lips. We were so much alike. We both broke out of guilt, defended each other out of loyalty, and wanted to be at each other's side for punishment.
"This isn't a funny situation," my mother said softly as she walked across the room, giving me a hard look that somehow still seemed loving.
I nodded. "I know it isn't. I'm sorry."
"Bella," my father started, "have you started menstruation?"
Bella's face went from pale to pure red. She nodded at the floor. Then my father began telling me about a woman's monthly cycle known as menstruation. I tried not to cringe. I felt terrible at the end of the conversation and thanked God for not giving me ovaries and a womb.
Then how pregnancy worked was explained to us. Penis, vagina, intercourse, sexual arousal, climax, sperm, egg, fetus. At the end of the talk, I didn't know whether I wanted to throw up or try what Bella had done to me again now that I knew it was normal.
"It does not take a partner to achieve a climax, and men are not the only ones who have them. Bella, I do not know how religious your family is, and I do not mean to offend, but despite what the Bible tells us, medically speaking, masturbation seems to be a good form of release. Masturbation is when you touch yourselves to achieve climax. Like I said before, men are not the only ones to reach an orgasm, or climax."
He then described how Bella could possibly touch herself to reach an orgasm. I paid close attention, for future reference. If what I had last night was a climax, or orgasm, I definitely wanted to do that for Bella sometime.
A while later, when everyone's stomachs were growling with hunger, my mom disappeared and my father kept going on. Although it should have been mortifying, I was so curious, I found myself excited and catching every word he said. I noticed Bella was doing the same.
"In conclusion, although I don't know what your plans are for marriage, Esme and I are strictly prohibiting you two from being alone together."
Bella and I both whimpered, "What?" at the same time.
My father gave us both apologetic looks. "I'm sorry. You are both too curious for your own good. You can practice by yourselves, but I am not condoning you practicing on each other until you are legally married under God." He saw the looks on our faces and continued on, "You can promise you won't all you want, that's the end of it. You two are not being allowed to be alone together. And if I catch either of you sneaking, Edward will be sent to live with Emmett and Rosalie."
"What?" we both gasped again.
My father shrugged. "You better keep it in mind because this is the only warning you'll get. Wait for marriage." With that he stood up. "Let's go eat some breakfast."
Downstairs, Emmett and Rosalie were at the table already. Emmett smirked when he saw the two of us. "Welcome to the new world, big man," he teased.
I gave my mother a glare, she just shrugged. I sat as far from Emmett as I could, Bella at my side. With a smirk I said, "All your grunting and groaning makes a lot more sense now. I wondered what you were always doing under the covers."
"What did Emmett do underneath the covers?" came a voice that made me immediately regret my snark at Emmett.
My father glared at me. "I suppose I better get this over with," he muttered.
He ushered Alice back upstairs and I prayed that the truth wouldn't haunt her. She was so young still.
I just finished my breakfast when Alice came bounding back down. "Ew," she said, "that's disgusting." She gave Emmett a grimace.
Maybe young and resilient was better for that conversation. "Your favorite brother does it too," Emmett shot back at her, sticking his tongue out like a four year old.
Alice's face fell minutely, then she shrugged. "Edward isn't doing it in front of his younger sibling," she retorted.
I smirked. Alice could always think up the best comebacks. And she was definitely right. Even though I hadn't actually done it yet, I would not do it in front of someone. But I was definitely going to be doing it.
– – –
That day, Mom pushed every one of us out the door, telling us to go have fun, though she gave Bella and I pointed looks and told us to stay with Alice.
Alice was jovial as she bounced down the street. Bella and I followed behind her, though not directly. Alice hadn't been herself for the longest time now and seeing her energetically running up to shop windows and peaking in made me exceptionally happy. That and Bella's hand in mine as we enjoyed the day, despite the cloud cover.
A blonde haired boy was sitting down on the steps of the saloon. He was all alone. Alice skidded to a halt so quickly we nearly ran into her. She stared at him for a few moments then ran up to him excitedly, her arm jutted out in front of her.
"I'm Alice," she practically squealed, when she was still about ten feet away from the boy.
His head shot up in surprise. His bright blue eyes took in my sister and slowly a smile replaced the shocked expression. "Jasper," he returned, reaching out to shake her hand.
The giggle that followed that handshake made me wonder if their meeting was such a good idea after all.
– – –
That night, I laid in bed trying to get to sleep after a long day. Bella's absence was missed greatly. I'd grown so used to her warm figure against mine I found it impossible to drift off.
I heard giggles through the wall that separated Alice's and her room from mine. They weren't asleep yet either. I thought about my father's conversations with all of us and began wondering if one of them was touching their clitoris.
I sat up straight in my bed and strained my ears, searching for Bella's voice. There was a mewling sound then I heard Alice say, "Jasper," very quietly.
I waited and I just barely made out the syllables of my name coming from Bella's mouth and my pants grew tight instantly.
Very quietly, I stripped to nothing and let my hand wander down to my penis, or erection. It was definitely an erection rather than just a penis. Slowly, I touched the end of it and felt the moisture there. I spread it slowly down the length of my erection and hissed at the feeling of my slick fingers gliding against my bare skin.
I remembered Bella had used her whole hand to wrap around it, so I did that, thinking about her own hand being there to replace mine. Hardly touching, I followed the whole length. It tickled though, so I tightened my grip, remembering how I'd liked when Bella did it. My hand came back up and I gasped, my body shuddering at the feeling. I didn't stop then, knowing this was exactly the same, only better and worse, than last night. Better because it was bare skin. Worse because it wasn't Bella.
I pretended it was though and I kept hissing breaths quietly through my teeth as I felt that tightening sensation again, the orgasm building. My toes curled and my hips bucked when I came to the top of my penis, so I tried focusing there. I grunted too loudly at the feeling of that. I forced myself to lay back down and put my pillow over my head, grunting again. It was like springs coiling in my lower stomach, getting ready to snap.
I groaned and bucked my hips again and again, feeling the moment coming when the release came. And when it did, I forced my lips together and pulled my head from under the pillow to watch. I felt the stuff, semen, coming up my penis and I gasped when it shot directly towards my face. It landed on my bare chest and then another came and another, coating my chest, stomach, and navel in white. I laid there panting when the orgasm was done.
Masturbation was fun.
A/N: We're so going with this. I had way too much fun making Edward play with his hard thing and curious Bella trying to make it shoot stuff. This was probably the most fun I've ever had writing a chapter, that includes all the other lemons and limes I've produced.
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