All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
This chapter has been beta'd by the ever amazing: Strae
Purgatory, hell, a torture chamber, whatever you call it, it's high school. Lately, it's been even worse. At least before, I had sports to make this worth something. Not anymore.
A month ago, I was Edward Cullen, star of the wrestling team, the track team, the basketball team, and the hockey team. The teachers weren't allowed to give me crap because I was the star athlete of Forks High.
That, or because my father is head of Forks Hospital and a world renowned doctor at that. Always giving to the poor, that man was – putting his only son through hell in Podunk USA for the charity case that was Fork, WA.
Alas, five weeks ago, I tore my ACL when some fuck pushed me at a track meet and I caught my leg on the hurdle, completely tearing the ligament. Alec Jane – what a stupid name, but I hunted him down and murdered him… in a dream. I wished I could murder him.
Even after surgery and a promise to use my brace and crutches religiously, my Seattle specialists said I may never be able to rigorously play sports again. What did that mean? Everything, it meant everything. My life was over; nothing mattered anymore. Without sports, Edward Cullen ceased to exist. Edward Cullen was nothing without his sports.
The multiple scouts for colleges all over the US that I drew to Hicksville also ceased to exist. Over– my life –done. Forks, I fucking hate you.
I sighed and hit my head against the wooden desk beneath me as the wonderfully intelligent Mr. Banner rambled on and on about things no one cared about.
Why had Carlisle done this to me? This was his fault, all of it. We could have stayed in LA and I could still be being scouted for scholarships to the best U's in the country.
The money wasn't the issue, I could afford to go to Harvard – or my parents could afford to send me there would be the proper statement – if I wanted to, but places like Harvard don't take crippled ex-athletes with a 3.04 GPA.
So here I was, not even pretending to listen to Banner's droning, raising my GPA!
I was smart, or I could be smart, or I wasn't stupid, whichever. I could raise my grades without a whole lot of effort, but I just didn't want to. My effort was sports, my life was sports. Was!
I snorted at myself and hit my head again.
"Mr. Cullen, would you like to say something?"
"No, Banner, please continue."
I didn't even bother raising my head to answer. I rolled my eyes and pulled at my ridiculous head of hair as he continued his speech. Maybe I should shave my head. It would be fitting for the depressive state I was in, plus I couldn't pull on it anymore.
Something cold traced along the skin on my lower back and I jumped. I turned to see Jessica Stanley smirking at me. "Hey Sexy," she said in a sultry tone.
I rolled my eyes very obviously at her and turned back around, slamming my head back down to my desk.
I'd hoped that with my crippling, these infantile girls would stop harassing me, but they were even worse now. They offered to carry my books, rub my knee, rub my cock – subtlety wasn't a strong point of the Forks girls. Most of them, anyway.
Whatever Jessica had touched my back with before, she was doing it again, even lower. My t-shirt didn't meet my jeans as I leaned forward onto my desk. I tried to ignore it as she traced back and forth over the skin with the cold object, but it was terribly annoying. Almost as annoying as her laugh.
I reached back and grabbed whatever the object was. Once it was in my fingers, I recognized it was a pencil and I chucked it backwards. I heard it hit the tile floor in the back of the classroom.
Jessica sighed and I heard her stand up.
"Ms. Stanley, can I help you?" Mr. Banner asked.
"No, sir, I dropped my pencil."
At least Esme was a good mother, even if Carlisle was an ass. Esme despised this move to Forks as much as I did. How long had we lived here now? Four years. Four long, insufferable, bane of my existence, years.
The cold was on my back again, further into my pants, tracing the upper edge of my underwear. Was she stupid? Well, that was a redundant question.
"Mr. Banner," I interrupted, "can I be excused? My knee hurts."
"Sure, Edward, go to the nurse's office."
I snorted to myself. "Yes, sir."
Jessica somehow had my crutches in her hands before I could even get to them. I wretched them from her grip, not bothering with a fake smile.
"Mr. Banner," I recognized Emmett's voice easily, "he's looking pretty sore, I think I should escort him."
"Sure, whatever," the teacher said, fed up with the interruptions.
Emmett played his part well, making his way quickly to me to grab my books from my desk. I stood with the help of my crutches and smirked at him as he carried my books.
Once out of the god forsaken classroom, I said, "Thank you, my book bitch, please feel free to kiss my left nut before you depart."
He clubbed me on the back, nearly knocking me off balance. "Shut the fuck up, I'm not past pushing your ass down a flight of stairs and saying you tripped."
I laughed, humorously, I actually found that hilarious. He gave me an odd look, probably wondering if I was a bit suicidal.
"Why do you treat Jess like such a bitch? She's got a hot bod and she'd totally bang your brains out," Emmett tormented.
"Sorry, Emm, I don't go for stupid blondes," I replied tempestuously.
I got a real punch for that one. "Don't you dare talk about my Rosalie that way!"
"Oh, ouch Emmett, that really hurt," I said sarcastically, rubbing my arm for effect. It did sting a little…
"Go fuck yourself," he said, dropping my books to the floor and continuing down the hallway.
I sighed. Great, now I had to carry my own books. I leaned my crutches against the ugly mint green wall and started to bend down. My knee ached a bit from the pressure but I ignored it. I put a book in each hand and repositioned my crutches.
Thank God there was a party at Lauren's tonight, I needed a fucking stiff drink, stat. I may have hated that little fake blonde flake, but she couldn't help it if her parents raised her to have what she wanted. Every Friday night. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Mallory for not taking care of your daughter correctly and being the host to many a high school hangover.
I made my way to my too small locker and threw my books in and grabbed my hoodie. Spanish wasn't worth my time of day – plus Mrs. Goff was easy, I'd deal with her Monday, if I felt like it. I had a parking space close to the door reserved for me, since I was handicapped and all. I climbed into my silver Volvo and sped out of the lot.
My mom would be home… Shit. I changed direction and started driving aimlessly around town until I could go home without making her suspicious. My speakers blared the wonderful words of Adam Gontier.
"This world will never be, what I expected…"
No, definitely not. But it wasn't too late. I had lots of drinking left to do. Oh, the pessimism of I! Surely, drinking wouldn't be the greatest thing I'd do with my life. Maybe it would… Who cared though, really? My hopes, dreams, aspirations were all out the fucking window, but my life wasn't over.
I rolled my eyes at myself. I couldn't even talk myself into that. For all I knew, my life was over. I drove too fast, too recklessly through the dead streets of the ghost town. Only a few hours to kill and I could drink myself into a coma and find out if my life really was over or not.
Jesus Christ, was I suicidal? No… No? No. Just in need of some alcohol. Maybe I'd just give one of those all too willing girls their fun with me tonight. No… I'd feel worse after that then I did now.
I took the curvy, serpent-like driveway too quickly and didn't bother pulling into the garage. I parked near the front door and pulled my crutches out. My mom opened the front door for me.
"Thanks," I muttered, not slowing down.
"Honey," she said. I rolled my eyes and stopped. "How was your day?"
"Fine, Mom. I'm going to take a shower. I'm going out tonight."
"Oh, well, alright I guess. You know your curfew."
"Er, do you think it would be okay if I came home in the morning? I think I'm staying at Emmett's." Staying at Emmett's, having Emmett drag my passed out form to his house, same thing.
She sighed. "You better be careful, I don't want to hear about any fights…"
"When have I started a fight, mother?"
She groaned and sighed, walking away. She wasn't stupid, I don't know why I insisted on treating her like she was. She knew I had the tendency to throw punches at whoever got in my way when I was in a 'mood' and drinking only made it that much worse.
At least she wasn't like Jasper's mom who liked to pretend that teenagers don't drink, have sex, or do drugs. My mom lived in this century and she knew I would drink, whether I had permission or not. I was at least mildly responsible, I didn't drive when I was drinking, mostly because when I was drinking I was too wasted to even remember how to start a vehicle. That and Emmett carried the keys so I couldn't find them.
The wonderful fact was that Lauren lived kitty-corner to Emmett and I could stumble my ass – or get it dragged – back there pretty easily. I did almost drown once though… Damn swimming pool.
I pulled my clothes off and took the stupid brace off my knee. I eyed the scars on my knee. They were such ugly reminders. I sighed and hopped one-legged into the shower. The hot water felt good, though unfortunately, my mom liked to run the dishwasher or washing machine whenever I was in the shower and make the water cold. Maybe she thought I was jerking off or something, giving me a cold shower.
Probably. I couldn't help but chuckle a little. She was really kind of an evil bitch that way. What kind of mother denies her son a shower jerk? I should start jerking off into tube socks and making her wash them...
I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist and grabbed my crutches. After drying off a bit, I pulled on some underwear and shook the water out of my hair and ears. I pulled on a t-shirt and took my iPod to my bed. I turned it on and closed my eyes, letting the heavy guitar rifts soothe me. With my blinds drawn tightly closed, my room was almost dark and I saw my phone light up on my dresser.
I stood up and hopped to it and went back to my bed and opened it. 1 New Text Message.
Jasper. U b there 2nite?
I hated text speak. Yes. Send.
I dropped my phone next to me and let the music in my ears drown everything else out. Stupid phone lit up again.
Jasper. Sweet.
Well, that was worth the distraction. Two seconds after I shut my phone, it buzzed in my palm. I reopened it.
Emmett. U cummin 2nite bitch?
Cummin? Did he think he was clever? Yes. Send.
Leave me alone! I sighed and threw my head back into my pillow. Was it seriously only 4:34? At least I had my trusty iPod. What would I do without it? I'd die, I'd die without my iPod.
I laid there for hours listening to the music, ignoring my phone when it lit up as more people text messaged me. Why did they care where I'd be?
My mom eventually came into my room and pulled my ear buds out so I would come eat dinner. She picked up my dirty clothes while she was at it. I found a pair of jeans and pulled them on before going to join my 'rents for supper.
Yuck, meatloaf. I think she wanted me to kill myself.
"How was school?" my father asked.
"Super," I said sarcastically.
"Did you at least try to learn something today?"
"Of course."
He gave up. Smart man. I forced down a small bit of meatloaf, but mostly ate the rabbit food she had there. A salad was better than meatloaf.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out this time.
Emmett. What do u want?
What kind of retarded question was that. Smirnoff. Send.
Vodka by the fucking quart; straight up and ice cold. Dumb ass. I politely excused myself from the table and went to the fridge. Leftover pizza was in there so I grabbed a couple of slices of that and managed to still limp my way to my room.
After shoving the cold pizza down, I grabbed my keys and iPod off my bed and stuffed some cash into my pocket. I kissed my momma's cheek like a good boy and headed to my car.
"Don't hurt yourself… or anyone else!" my mom yelled from the kitchen before the door closed.
Yeah, I couldn't make any promises.
I drove through the shit hole town to Emmett's house and parked in front of it. I walked in without knocking, as I usually did, and was assaulted by his younger sister who had a crush on me. I had to be nice to her, since I lived in his house on occasion. I finally made it down his basement steps and then we were going back up them again. At least I wasn't getting fat while I was laid up.
"Leah, stop harassing Edward, he's gay, remember?" Emmett said when we were headed down the hall and his sister spotted me again.
"He is not, Emmett. Right, Edward?" Leah, Emmett's half sister, asked me worriedly.
I smiled at her and mussed her hair. "Right, you're just like a sister to me is all."
She grimaced at that. We made it out the door and Emmett went to his car. As Emmett was digging around in the trunk, Jasper pulled up. He was too busy texting, probably to Alice, to say anything.
Emmett pushed something at me then. Smirnoff Twisted V Black Cherry in small bottles, in a carton.
"What the fuck is this?" I asked.
"If you're going to bitch about it, go buy your own shit. Just drink it and shut the fuck up," Emmett answered and started walking towards Lauren's house.
"You know what I drink, what the fuck is this?"
"It was all I could get, get the fuck over it."
Why did I rely on Emmett to do anything? He was an incapable son of a bitch. "I'm not drinking this shit."
"Give me my fucking money," he said, stopping and turning around.
"Why should I? This isn't what I wanted."
"Because there was never a guarantee! How about you try being a fucking man and stop complaining like a bitch?"
"You got me the girly, flavored bullshit!"
Jasper laughed and grabbed a bottle of it. He popped a top and tasted it. "Blech, no, still tastes like vodka. How do you drink this shit?"
I grabbed the bottle from him and took a swig of it. It was still vodka, it would still get me drunk. Whatever, I guess. I dropped the open bottle back in its place in the cardboard holder and dug in my pocket for the money I had brought. I overpaid him, as usual, even when he didn't deserve it.
"Done being a prissy bitch?"
"Would you like to be the first person I hit tonight?"
He laughed and patted my shoulder. "Sure, just don't expect me not to hit you back. I don't give a shit if you're handicapped."
I chuckled. Got to love Emmett. "Okay, let's hurry the fuck up," Jasper said.
"Why Jazzy, you got to get home to Mommy?" Emmett asked.
"Yeah, so does Rose," Jasper said.
Emmett cussed and started running for Lauren's house. It turned into a race between Jasper and Emmett, leaving me in the dust and feeling even worse for myself. I grabbed my open bottle of the girly booze and knocked it back. This shit wasn't cold enough.
I limped my crippled ass into the house where several people were already passed out. Forks knew how to party, I'd give it that much. Tyler Crowley was ass up over the back of the couch. His ass was in serious trouble of being raped by the town gay… Jessica found me quickly.
"Hey, can I get you anything?" she asked, I think in a tone that was supposed to be seductive and illustrated by the fact that she was sucking on her finger.
"Yes, you can leave me alone, doll," I said and limped toward the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle, I threw my booze in the freezer. They better get cold fast.
It reeked like alcohol and weed in the house so I limped out to the back porch where there was actually some music playing and some beerpong going.
A new round just started so I got in on that. It just had to be Jessica who I teamed with and we were going against some Juniors. I didn't try very hard, much to Jessica's dismay, and I ended up with a nice buzz after we were finished. Jessica grew more…insistent after every drink. When she tried to reach into my pants I limped away, not in the mood for a game of grab dick.
My empty bottle got discarded in the grass next to the fourteen hundred plastic cups. I went to the freezer and was ecstatic to find my vodka cold. Finally, something goes right.
Emmett was looking fairly fucked up when he found me. He grabbed a crutch and started whacking random people with it. It looked like fun, but I was enjoying my quiet corner with my icy Smirnoff. Three down, three to go.
This shit was working too. I was definitely feeling it. Where did my other crutch go? Crutches and drunk didn't work well.
"Emmett," I yelled loudly. Rosalie showed up instead, though I don't know why. We didn't care much for each other.
"He's still beating people with your crutch," she said. She hopped up onto the table in front of me and sat there. She leaned forward then and said, "Oh, I love those."
I hoped she was talking about my drink. "Lovely. Go get me another, they're in the freezer."
"I don't take orders from you," she spat.
"Please," I said cynically.
She rolled her eyes and slid off the table. Ah, solitude. For two fucking seconds. Jessica came out of no where and started feeling me up again. What was it with her? How could one person be so imperceptive? Did she not get that no meant no? Did she not care that I wanted nothing to do with her?
"C'mon Edward, I'll do anything for you."
Why? Why the fuck did she want to get in my pants so bad? "Run along trashy," Rose hissed at her.
Well, at least she was useful for something. "You can run me off of Emm all you want, but you have no say in if I'm near Eddie."
I groaned and rolled my eyes. A bitch fight might be entertaining though. Jessica stood no chance, she was all hair and boobs, Rose had legs for miles and guns from volleyball and softball. I grabbed my bottle from Rose and limped away on one crutch. I found Emmett and clubbed him in the back with my crutch. He just ran, obviously finding himself hilarious.
I had no patience for this. I followed in the direction he went and spotted him, just moments before he smacked an ass that I could spot from a mile away with my crutch.
She jumped and squeaked at the attack. I limped forward and hit Emmett in the nuts with my other crutch. Bastard, he needed to start picking on people his own size. I got my other crutch away from him as he doubled over and grabbed his crotch.
I didn't hit him that hard, just enough to make his eye water a little. Rose came out then and gave me a look then rushed to Emmett. Ha ha, I was so dead if his dick didn't work.
I turned back and retreated to my quiet corner and ended up finishing my last two bottles too quickly. Damn…stupid…fuck.
Crutches and drunk were really, really bad. I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it. That ass. I patted it.
She squeaked again and turned, probably getting ready to punch me. Oh well, she could hit me, I probably wouldn't feel it. "Edward," she gasped. I suppose I wasn't usually a grabber, but she wasn't usually at the parties…
"What are you doing here?" I asked her.
"Same thing as you. Are you alright?"
"I'm great, how are you?"
She narrowed her eyes at me. "You're wasted," she told me.
Pfft, like she knew what wasted was. "I'm not even close to wasted."
"Okay, Edward, I'm taking you home."
I smirked. "You just want to go home with me."
"Wow, you are really wasted."
I was not, I was completely… Cat. "Why is there a cat on your shirt?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at the object on her shirt and raising my hand to point at it.
"That's a bird, actually," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Stop staring at my chest."
I grabbed the string of her hoodie and pulled on it a little, and I think I giggled. "What are you doing?" I asked her.
She shook her head. "Edward, come on, I'm taking you home."
"But I'm not living at home tonight…but you can take me anywhere you want."
"Emmett's?" She asked.
"Emmett is stoned."
"Okay, well, are you staying at Emmett's tonight?"
"Leah is there, she has a crush on me."
"Edward, listen to me, are you staying at Emmett's?" Her lips were so pretty.
"Yeah…" Pretty lips.
"C'mon then, let's go."
Yay, fun with the pretty lips and nice ass. Where's my drink? "Where did you put my drink?"
"I didn't touch it, come on." I'd follow that ass anywhere, so I did. I think I used my crutches, something was under my arms anyway, maybe it was Jasper and Emmett. We got to the front door of Emmett's house. "'Kay Edward, goodnight."
"Yeah," I said. I was tired.
"Edward, go inside. It's cold."
"In a minute…"
"Come on," she said, opening the door. There was that ass again. I followed it. She knew Emmett's house, she'd been here before, a time or two…I think. Maybe that was Alice? The stairs were a bit difficult to navigate.
I took my normal residence in the overstuffed chair at the back of the room. "You shouldn't be alone, you can stay here… Lots of bad... drunk..." What had my point been?
"I'll be fine. Sleep it off, we have a session on Monday. Not like you'll remember."
"I will too. I always remember, I just pretend to forget. People might wonder if I remember everything."
Her eyebrows knit together as she stared at me, shaking her head. "Goodnight."
"Be safe," I told her, then closed my eyes.
I woke up a little bit when something was taking my shoes off, then it was oddly warmer. I snuggled with the warmness.
– – –
A hideous track of that "Wake me up before you go, go," song was what I got to wake up to. Loud, ringing, bright, pounding – ow.
"Gahhhh," I groaned.
I recognized an equally pained sounding groan as Emmett's. Emmett's little brother, Leah's twin, Seth was standing at Emmett's stereo.
"Get the fuck out of my room," Emmett bellowed at him.
Seth laughed and turned the music up louder. It was like nails on a chalkboard. I groaned again and covered my ears. It didn't make it go away.
"Seth, you asshole, knock it off and get out!" yelled a female voice. Leah, I think.
I was surprised when the shrieking stopped fairly quickly and a soft warm something touched my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Leah leaning over me. "Do you need anything?"
Why did girls always ask me that? Her brother was sitting ten feet away. "Aspirin, water, a revolver?"
She smiled and leaned closer, kissing my cheek. "I can do the aspirin and water, but I will not let you hurt yourself."
I would wager that she had brought me this blanket. What else had she done to me? How did I even get home? Emmett must have dragged me.
"You better be bringing some for me," Emm yelled – making my ears ring – to Leah's retreating form. He groaned then. "I got plastered."
"Tell me about it…"
"I can't, I don't remember much."
"That was a figure of speech, Emmett, I meant me too. How did you get me back here?"
I heard his bed rustle. "I don't know. I don't remember bringing you."
"Me either."
"Dude, my head is fucking killing me."
"I know, shut up already."
He did and Leah was back with pain meds and water. "Anything else?" she asked.
I dug in my pockets but they weren't there, just like they always weren't. I pointed to Emmett and said, "Get my keys from Emmett and start my car for me?"
Her face fell. "You're leaving?"
"I promised my mom I'd be home in the morning."
She nodded grimly and got my keys from Emmett.
Standing was a daunting task, and after mumbling a goodbye to Emmett, I faced the always troublesome stairs. Somehow, I managed to climb them and not kill myself. Leah was still in my driver's seat when I made it outside.
I opened the door and my head pounded as the loud music met my ears. "Turn it down," I yelled.
"Sorry," she said and got out of my car.
I got in and muttered, "Thanks," then sped away.
Home, bed, sleep. I slept the weekend away, doing absolutely nothing.
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