All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
This chapter has been beta'd by the ever amazing: Strae
I lied in bed, trying to clear my thoughts with loud music, but it didn't work. My dad even broaching the subject of sex toys with me was going to scar me for life.
"Here son," said my father in my head, "let me help you pick one out." He pointed to different silver, black, and pink colored contraptions on the computer screen, shopping an online adult store. "Oh, this one! Your mother loves it."
"Gahhh!" I growled, tossing my iPod aside. I grabbed my cell phone like an addict for his crack pipe. Fingers shaking, I found Bella on the top of the list and called. I felt like my brain was going to rattle loose of my skull with every ring.
"Hello?" Something made a small crashing sound in the distance and Bella cussed under her breath.
I sighed, because I should have known. "You're busy, aren't you?"
"A little bit, yeah. You okay? You sound a little odd." I could tell I had her undivided attention in that moment. I could almost see the concern on her face as she grasped the phone in her hand, instead of flattening it halfheartedly between her shoulder and her ear.
"I just need to talk for a few minutes. Just say something really distracting and I'll be okay." For now.
"I miss you," she breathed quietly into the phone.
I sighed deeper and relaxed back into my pillows. Just that voice helped, but knowing she missed me, it's all I could think about then. "I miss you too."
"I love you."
Even better. "I love you too."
"I've been thinking about you," she whispered in a very distracting tone of voice.
"Yeah?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I really wish I was there. Or you were here, actually. I'd fill up the Jacuzzi tub and give you a bubble bath."
"That sounds really nice, but I don't care where we were, as long as I was with you it'd be really nice."
"How are you feeling?"
"Edward," she said in an exasperated tone. "You watched me all day today, I think you know how I'm feeling better than I do."
"I'm just worried I hurt you more than you are letting on."
"I'm fine. More than fine, actually. But I have to go now. I'll call you back in a little while, I promise."
"Okay," I sighed. I had a feeling my new nickname was going to be Clingy, or Cling-On, or Clinger.
"I love you. I'll talk to you soon."
"Love you too. Bye."
"Bye."
How long 'a little while' would be was the issue. I hated the waiting game, or maybe I just lacked patience, I didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to be with Bella more than anything in the world. Right now and forever. Charlie complicated everything. I couldn't see Bella tonight, I hardly got to see her at school, I couldn't spend the night with her, weekends would always be screwed up because of stupid Newton and that fucking shop. We'd never have time with just each other.
And we desperately needed time with just each other. Not just for sex either, because that actually wasn't all I thought about. I want to hold her, to kiss her deeply, and tell her how much I loved her, not just hug her, give her a chaste peck, and whisper that I loved her into her ear.
Then there was the sex issue. I didn't have a problem jumping into the shower and jerking one out. Bella, on the other hand, just didn't have it in her to please herself the way she should. I needed to be there to make sure her frustration didn't make her spontaneously combust. Sex was a natural, human need, and fuck we both really needed it.
– – –
It was a week and a half before I finally got my much needed alone time with Bella, along with a cold spurt of weather. Her little mittens, furry boots, and puffy coat made me smile. A whole week and a half though, I'd only seen her in passing. I couldn't even drive her to and from school anymore.
She was no longer my tutor, because we couldn't concentrate. I was no longer her ride to and from school, because we couldn't concentrate. So maybe I got a bit handsy once or twice, I was feeling frisky, couldn't hardly cut me off for that. I asked for a little trust. She said she trusted me, but didn't trust herself, that I drove her crazy, she couldn't focus or even think when I was being, well, me. I did as she asked, grudgingly. She promised me time, we'd think of something. She promised that it wouldn't always be this way; fighting for a second alone, stealing kisses in shadowed corners, and copping tiny feels whenever absolutely possible.
A whole week and a half later, we got snowed in. Mom and Dad were stuck in Seattle. Charlie was busy with all the weather related accidents and injuries. School was closed. And Bella was on her way out to my place, with her giant rust bucket. I probably would have been safer going to get her in my two-wheel drive Volvo, but she insisted—and when Bella insists, there's just no pushing her!
Two hours. Two. Freaking. Hours. I was ready to just go looking for her already. Or call a search and rescue party because it was snowing again. Or call her father. I knew I was actually starting to panic when I considered that.
Two hours after she told me she'd see me soon, that old junker came around the final bend. I just about leaped off the patio. I seriously doubt that landing would have felt good though, so I took the icy stairs two at a time, meeting her as she opened her creaky door.
"Oh, thank God," I sighed, wrapping myself around her as tightly as possible.
"Your hair looks wild," she muttered, "and you look cold. Did you stand out here the whole time?" I ran my hand through my hair. "And do that?"
The hair was growing back at extreme speed. My habit was coming back and I'm sure the hair was standing up at full force after the last two hours of me pulling at it while I paced the deck.
"Let's just go inside before we can't find the house," I mumbled back at her, looking up at the huge, fast falling flakes.
I held her hand while we walked up to the house and followed her up the slippery steps. Funny how coming down I managed to take them dangerously quickly and even at snail pace Bella managed to nearly kill herself three times. I'd catch her and she'd turn pretty shades of red.
I didn't consider how bad of an idea this was until we got in the house. Charlie was going to kill me. Seriously. Not only did I already endanger her, but if she tried to leave in this ever worsening weather, she'd be put in even more danger and likely end up in the ditch or worse. Which meant she'd have to stay here, and Charlie was going to kill me for that, after he already killed me for not talking Bella out of coming.
Yet, all I could think was 'reunited and it feels so good.' I shucked my coat and hung it up while Bella kicked her wet boots off. We traded places and she hung her coat next to mine while I tossed my boots next to hers. It felt familiar and right and perfectly fitting.
I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her body flush with mine. "I missed you," I cooed before pressing my lips to hers. Her warm hands covered my checks as she held my face.
"You're so cold," she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer to me.
I rubbed my hands up and down over the back of her blue sweater then rested my hands right on her full ass cheeks. "You're so warm," I said back, rubbing my cold nose against her cute little button one then kissing her full, inviting lips again.
With her arms already around my neck and my hands perfectly placed on her butt, I decided it would just be easier to pick her up than bend, so I did. I walked, still kissing her in the direction of the kitchen and forced myself to remain gentlemanly, though I really didn't want to. With a final, slightly rough and greedy kiss, I pulled away from her, setting her down on the countertop.
"Are you hungry?" I asked her. I know I was. Starving. Not for food, but I'd sure give that a fucking try and pretend that it might be satisfying enough.
She shrugged her perfect little shoulders and my eyes lingered on her breasts as they moved with her. That's when I noticed just how nice her sweater was. Maybe nice wasn't the word I was looking for. It was v-necked and that perfect blue and God did I get a little breathless taking in the whole picture. I could feed her, then I could fuck her. Not gentlemanly! I certainly never claimed to be no Prince Fucking Charming. Maybe a Charming Fucking Prince, but not the other way around.
"What do you want?" I asked her, and hoped that husky tone wasn't as perceptible as it sounded to me.
I think it must have been, because she bit her lip lightly then leaned toward me, just begging to be kissed again, and fucked. I had to deny it, I had to turn away because I was all to willing to just do it, right here, without feeding her first. I opened the fridge and grabbed the first thing that registered, which just happened to be leftover lasagna. Somehow I was able to get that on plates and microwaved without something exploding, and I meant that quite literally.
I was lucky the lasagna was fucking delicious or Mom's expensive center piece would have gotten destroyed in my path of sexual destruction. I was beginning to think I was possessed, it just didn't seem normal, but I decided that sex with Bella was a bit like a drug. You just needed it in that way; it was addicting, fulfilling, utterly fucking breathtakingly amazing, life without it didn't feel right, and I'd do anything to get that high.
So I waited. I ate and I watched and I waited until she was finished and I waited some more because I'd do anything, and waiting for her to be ready was one of those things. I continued to try for gentlemanly as I took our plates to the dishwasher and she followed me there. When I turned around, she reached for my head and knotted her fingers into my hair and pulled my lips to hers. I groaned as her mouth pressed against mine and her tongue pushed its way between my lips. She molded her body to me, and I wanted nothing more than to find a surface to push her against in hopes of getting closer.
I picked her up again. That fantasy I'd been having for a week and a half flashed in my brain and I started towards the huge bathroom with the Jacuzzi tub. As bad as I wanted to have her between my sheets again, bathing her had toyed with my mind and I couldn't push away the chance. I wanted to play with Bella in a bubble bath.
I lowered her down and her feet patted lightly when they met the cold tile floor. I turned the water on to fill the tub and pressed the magic Jacuzzi button that made bubbles. When I turned back to her, she was biting her lip impatiently, or nervously, or just doing it to drive me even fucking crazier. I smiled at her because I couldn't wait to peel that perfect sweater off.
The sound of the rushing water combined with everything else felt like a fantasy come true as my skin sparked from her touch. She tried to grab my shirt to pull it off, but I didn't let her. I very slowly pulled hers off instead. Her bra was black today and the way her pale breasts filled it out made me groan a little bit, it was so unbelievably fucking sexy. I knew the underwear would be black too and I just had to see them immediately. Ever so slowly, I lowered her pants off her hips. I ended up kneeling and the black bikini style panties looked just as perfect as her bra. In desperate need of some contact, I tried to take it slow and ended up having a small make out session with her bellybutton which she thoroughly seemed to enjoy by moaning and wrapping her fingers in my hair again.
The tub was full enough that I couldn't delay anymore. With purpose, I removed her underwear. The goddamn bra and its mal-fucking-functioning back clasp pissed me off a bit more than it should have, but Bella was patient with her hands on my chest, staring at me with every ounce of love, respect, trust, and all kinds of lust in her eyes. Finally it fell to the floor. I didn't think it was possible for my breathing to get any shallower, but I was wrong.
After gulping down many feelings, much air, and excessive amounts of saliva, I guided her to the tub only to receive a questioning look. She reached for my shirt again, and didn't seem pleased to be stopped, again.
I pulled her naked body to my completely clothed one and kissed her with every bit of passion I was feeling, which meant the kiss was rough and hot. I kissed along her jaw to her ear and gently bit down on her lobe before whispering to her, "Bella, the second my clothes come off, I'm going to need to be inside of you, so just let me have this."
With a sharp intake of breath and no objections, she let me have it. I got to play with bubbles and skin. Bella seemed so oddly relaxed yet turned on, I couldn't decide if she wanted to take a nap or fuck my brains out. My hands were everywhere they could be feeling her skin under the water. I watched her and loved that I had her naked in the bubbles and couldn't get enough of the look on her face as I played.
I don't know how long it had been, but as my fingers raked over an apparently responsive part of her upper thigh, her wet hands fisted into my shirt and she pulled me to her. She pulled me so hard and I wasn't expecting it and I didn't really care because I wanted to kiss her. But I missed the edge of the tub with my hand and ended up on top of her in the water. I was plastered against her, soaking wet and covered in bubbles. God, did I fucking love it.
Her tongue tasted divine rubbing against mine and her lips felt as soft as ever. Her breasts were pressed tight against my chest and her nipples were hard among all the soft flesh. Bella was ready for it right there in the bathtub as she tried to peel my clinging shirt off of me. A brief moment of pure lust washed over me as I remembered a particular fantasy where Bella had her legs flung over the sides of the tub and the water sloshed noisily as we grunted against each others mouths. I pushed it away and pushed myself away from the tub and Bella as I had no other options. She followed quickly, dripping wet and determined.
She pushed me back roughly against the bathroom counter and grabbed my shirt with both hands. She had her fists tight into my shirt and I wouldn't have been able to stop her if I tried. She pulled hard until the shirt was over my head and she dropped it with a loud splat onto the floor. Her hands grabbed the front of my jeans, the button flew open and the zipper went down. My hips lurched towards her as she dropped my pants to the floor, too. I was already panting when she tried to go for my underwear. I grabbed her wrists quickly and wrapped them up around my neck as I pressed our bodies together again and kissed her like my life depended on it.
It was all tongues, and lips, and teeth, and chest on chest until I had her steered into my bedroom. She moaned loudly into my mouth when I fell with her onto my bed. Her legs wrapped up around my hips and she arched her core up to rub against me. She growled when she encountered fabric, not skin.
Hastily, I unraveled our bodies from each other. While getting rid of my underwear, I reached between the mattress and box spring and pulled out the amazing box of sex. Yes, the box was sex. That was my logic. The box was sex because without it, there was none. Logic. If only the wrappers weren't so goddamn tricky. It forced me to concentrate on something other than my throbbing erection and I had to send a quick telepathic kudos to the manufacturers. I carefully extracted the condom and rolled it onto myself.
I quickly began wishing I'd have spent the previous two hours of waiting for Bella jerking off in preparation for this. Which reminded me that I had to give Bella an amazing orgasm before I blew my load and that wasn't going to be accomplished by the still-painful-for-her intercourse.
I dropped to my knees and palmed her thighs, pulling her to the edge of the bed. Her fingers wrapped into my hair and I grinned at her eagerness, until I was being pulled past my desired location. I gently grasped her wrists.
"Edward," she begged, "I need you. I need you now, please."
I trembled all over. I wanted like nothing else to give her exactly what she asked for, but it wouldn't be everything her lust-hazed brain had it made out to be, so I forced myself to wait because it was for her.
I kissed her thigh with an open mouth, then whispered against her skin, "Bella, I need to calm down. I promise I'll give you what you need, just hold on a little bit longer."
She made a sound between a sigh and a groan and relaxed back into the bed. I kissed her thigh again and up, up to her hip and over her stomach and to her perfect breasts. Her fingers came lightly to my hair as I licked around her globes and over her hard nipples. I kissed higher to her neck and couldn't resist a stop at her lips. I was lost in the kiss and I didn't feel her move until her hands were wrapped around my aching shaft.
I groaned defeatedly into her mouth. I couldn't push her away again because I ached and she'd make it all better. My condom covered cock jumped against her palm and she stroked along me, all purpose and intent. This was the exact opposite of what was suppose to be happening. Somehow, I remembered that her cumming was my priority and navigated my fingers to between her thighs. She made sounds right along with me as I worked my finger inside of her tight, wet opening. We found a good rhythm with her pumping along my length and my finger slipping in and out of her while my thumb nudged against her clit.
I added a second finger quickly, hoping she'd like that. She did. As tight as she was, I thought it might be uncomfortable, but she was relaxed and the second finger slid right in with the first, stretching her. Her hips rocked and she aided my search of her spot and when I found it, I used it. She was writhing and gasping before me and that was my goal. When she clenched down on me and started spasming around my fingers, I felt my own spasm start. She came around my fingers and I came into her hand. We panted and calmed and I rested on top of her.
Slowly, she started kissing my neck and I knew she was ready. Just before I started to pull away her lips rested at my ear and she breathed huskily into it, "Make love to me, fuck me, I need you. I need you in me."
If I needed convincing, those were the words that did it.
I quickly striped off the soiled condom and replaced it with a new one, after a painstaking battle with another foil wrapper. As I settled myself between her thighs, I remembered the fact that her being on top may be easier, so I rolled.
She leaned up, and the surprise wasn't momentary. She stared at me, shocked. She sat up slowly and my hands eagerly gripped her hips. I decided that was too firm of a stand with the likelihood of literally taking hold by grabbing her hips, so I moved my hands up her sides. I could aid from here if necessary, but couldn't get quite as rambunctious, hopefully.
She remained still. "I-I-I don't know what to do," she stuttered.
I smiled lazily up at her. "Do whatever feels good," I said, stroking her stomach lightly and watching her eyes fluttered closed.
She shifted slowly and everything lined into place. Sitting above me, I watched her take one more questioning look at me before pressing her hips down onto me. Her brow wrinkled in what I assumed was a combination of concentration and pain. I forced myself to look away. I had to trust her to stop if it was too much. I watched our bodies coming together.
So slowly, her hips sank lower and she enveloped me into her inviting heat. Like before, the first half seemed to be the hardest part. She faltered and pressed on a few times before sitting completely against me. I watched as she rocked her hips experimentally. I groaned, feeling her tight, hot walls pressing against me in whole new ways. She leaned forward and rested her hand flat on my chest. My eyes fluttered closed as she rocked again and I opened them to see her face. A stab of guilt hit my gut when I could still see more pain than anything etched into her features. Then she lifted her body some and the cool air hit my wet, hot shaft and I shuddered.
She sat back down and I moaned at the sultry tight feel. She did it again, lifting up slightly higher then sinking back down. Then again, rotating her hips slightly before going back up again. And her hand curled into my chest slightly, biting me with her fingernails and a whisper of a moan came out of her lips. I watched as she moved up and down and rocked on me.
It dawned on me, she was fucking me. I moaned so loud I actually scared her a little bit. She looked worried, like she'd hurt me. She froze and my fingers twitched with the need to grab her hips and make her fuck me harder. I didn't trust myself to touch her anymore, so I moved them to the bed. When she moved again, they twisted around that comforter with purpose.
It started over again from there. The slow up and down and the rocking and my balls were churning up a storm but I could see the pleasure just ghosting forward, pushing the pain aside slowly so I held back with everything I had.
Her brow wrinkled again and she stopped, leaning back up. It started over again, slow up and down. And it felt completely different again and I wondered if she was trying to drive me fucking insane. But the ghost of pleasure was gone and the pleasure was solidified. I could see just hints of pain and plenty of pleasure as her hips built intensity. As she moved faster, she rose up in the middle of a rocking motion and her head rolled back into a loud moan.
I let my hands have her hips. I helped her find that motion again, and again, and again, and I'll be damned if she wasn't moaning just as much as I was. Fucking everything felt good to me and finding something that felt good to her gave me enough of a clear head to take hold of her hips. Her fingers wrapped around my wrists and I continued to help her.
She was fucking me and her tits were bouncing and it was all just too fucking much with her loud moaning and gasping. I couldn't take another second and I exploded deep inside of her. She felt it and stopped, just sitting down on top of me and feeling me cumming inside of her. My hips pushed up into her as gently as I could manage and she rocked a few times until the final sparks died away.
I realized that I didn't know. I hated myself for having to ask. "Did you?"
My heart broke a little bit when she shook her head and slowly raised herself off of me. She saw. "But you were amazing," she said.
She removed the used condom for me this time and discarded it in the trash. She moved off to my side slightly and lied down, her head on my shoulder and her body pressed up against me, her arm and leg possessively laid across me.
"You were amazing," she said again, and it made me hate myself even more, even though I knew this would happen. I still hated it. "Edward, look at me." I didn't want to, because I knew she would convince me of the stupid fact that she did actually think I was amazing, but I couldn't deny her anything so I looked at her. I looked at her and I let her convince me that I was amazing and I let her kiss me.
And when she kissed me, I felt her thigh slide along my length and I remembered that we were snowed in. We were snowed in and alone, indefinitely.
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