All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
This chapter has been beta'd by the ever amazing: Strae
I skipped supper, I ignored my phone, and I tried to sleep, even though the discomfort was keeping me wide awake. The icepack shoved down my pants actually felt like it was doing more damage than it was doing good, so I threw it at my closed bedroom door and rolled onto my side, which honestly did me no good at all.
"Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows, only time."
I covered my head with a pillow and considered giving my dad his own medicine. By that, of course, I meant kicking him in the nuts with enough force that he couldn't even think about having any other children. And then actually giving him a taste of his own medicine. I doubt he'd find it funny if he were actually in my situation. At the moment though, apparently it was hilarious.
"Stupid fucking asshole son-of-a-bitch cuntbag motherfucker…" I cursed, and cursed some more under my breath.
"I hope you're not talking about me. That'd be awfully rude. And why is Enya blasted from the stereo outside your door?"
"I don't know, Jasper, why don't you ask my 'father?'" I knew the quotation around the word were obvious in the way I said it.
"Naw, I actually don't care, just wondering out loud, I guess. What I do care about is the fact that I am message boy once again because the pompous prick known as Edward Cullen has yet again left a dear, dear friend crying."
"Oh fuck," I muttered. Unthinkingly, I sat up quickly, reaching for my phone and nearly hurled at the pain it induced.
"You look like hell."
"And you are as flamboyantly gay as ever."
He laughed. "Not in a good mood, I see."
"Mr. Observant Flamboyant Gay-man, go the fuck away."
"No, Alice gave me strict orders and I will happily follow through with them." He pushed his sleeves up and cracked his neck, and I honestly began to wonder if he was sent to beat me up. He laughed at the look I was giving him and took a seat on the chair across from me. "Now, Alice says that Bella says something happened between you two."
I blinked rapidly then got angry all over again. "Deep breath," Jasper instructed. I've had about enough of people telling me what to do.
"FUCKING TURN THAT MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT FUCKING MUSIC THE FUCK OFF!" I roared.
The music played another half of a verse of "Only Time" and then was silent. I knew my mother's footstep when I heard them, and it was her who had done me the huge favor.
"Now that you got that off your chest, back to the point. What happened?"
"I might as well get it out in the open," I muttered, more to myself than Jasper. "I got kneed in the balls."
Jasper looked confused. "By whom?"
"Bella."
"Well, they didn't tell me that."
"What exactly did they tell you?"
"They didn't tell me anything. Bella was not exactly in the mood for talking. Alice whispered that I need to get the fuck out here and ask you what your problem was. I made out something about her pulling away from you at a… well, at the wrong time, apparently. She thinks you broke up with her because she wouldn't do what you wanted her to."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That was really my only thought.
"What exactly were you two doing?"
I wasn't even listening to him anymore. I had my phone out and Bella's number was already on the screen, calling. This was not a conversation I wanted to have over the phone. Why did I keep hurting her when I was in so much pain?
"You've reached Charlie and Isabella Swan, we can't come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible…" Beep.
Charlie's gruff voice was not what I'd wanted to hear, or the generic recording. I left a message nonetheless. "Bella, please call me, it is not what you think."
Hopefully that would get my point across, at least part way, yet was still non-descript enough that it shouldn't raise any questions.
"Okay, now Edward. What happened?" He sounded oddly like a therapist. And when I looked at him, he even looked like one with his hands clasped under his chin.
I guess I really hadn't shone the light on the situation yet, had I? I gave Jasper all the details, or most of them… or just the ones that pointed to my ball smashing.
He made a face when I told him about her knee taking its terrible path of destruction against my balls.
"I really don't care if she does anything with me or not, I was mostly just being, well, me. I love her, I'm not going to lose her over this."
"You should have thought of that sooner."
Panic struck me. "You think she's going to break up with me?"
"I don't know, but she's really upset that you just left. I can imagine what she thought."
I wanted to say something about him and his inner woman connecting, but I withheld. It occurred to me then that I had called Bella's house and not her cell phone. I dialed immediately.
"Hello?" Alice, a very disgruntled sounding Alice, answered.
"Alice, please put Bella on, I-"
"Why should I, Edward? Do you really think she wants to talk to you-"
"Alice, it's not what she, what you think. Please put her on, I need to talk to her."
I could hear Bella in the background telling Alice to give her the phone, in a none too pleasant sounding tone.
"Alice," I heard her warn her cousin.
Alice huffed and there was an unmistakable sound of the phone being passed from one hand to the other.
"Ed-"
I didn't even let her get my name out before I cut her off. "Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Jasper said you thought I was breaking up with you. God, please don't even think that, Bella. I can't, I won't lose you. Please forgive me."
A small, arrogant part of my brain was asking why I was apologizing for getting kneed in the nuts, but I ignored it.
There was silence. "Bella? Bella, I love you, please believe me. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
"Why did you leave? I didn't want you to go, and I know I reacted badly to my dad getting home, but Edward, I didn't want you to leave."
"I had to Bella, I'm sorry. It was nothing to do with your dad coming home."
Another silence. I really didn't want to explain what had happened, since she was so obviously clueless to it, and making her feel bad about it would not help the situation. "Why did you leave?"
I made up a lie on the spot. "My phone had rung and my dad needed me at home right away."
"Oh…" More silence.
"Oh, for Christ's Sake, Edward, tell her the truth."
There was no question of whether Bella heard that. In the silence, Jasper's voice was loud and clear. I wanted to hit him like never before. I settled for a malicious stare.
"Edward?"
I sighed, groaned, or maybe it was more of a whimper. I rushed the words out. "Just promise not to feel bad, or get upset. I don't want to tell you because you're going to feel bad, Bella, and it was my fault for being so… so… pushy."
"Just tell me," she muttered.
"Well, you didn't mean to do it, I know that, so don't even apologize, but when you got up, you, um… sort of. Well, Bella, you see, uh, that... you hit me in the… um..."
"You kneed him in the balls, Bella," Jasper said plainly, and again, I knew Bella heard it. I wasn't sure whether to hit him or hug him.
"I did?"
"Yes."
"Oh, God. I didn't mean-"
"I know, Bella, I know. It's okay, really, I'm not blaming you, though I did deserve it, but I know you didn't try."
She sighed. "So we're…" She trailed off.
I remained silent, not knowing what to say.
"Are we— Did you— I mean… I hurt you."
"Bella, it's alright."
"Bad."
I couldn't deny that, it did hurt bad. "I'm-" I was going to say fine, but I couldn't lie that convincingly, "I'll be fine."
"But us?" she asked in the smallest voice.
I again didn't know how to respond. "I wouldn't even dream of holding this against you, Bella. But I'm such a fucking prick, I wouldn't blame you for-"
"No," she said defiantly. "Edward, I don't want this to be over."
"Oh, thank God," I breathed. "I'll slow down, I'll back off. I shouldn't have done what I did, and well, I think this was my sign. I'm sorry, Bella. I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered. She didn't address my promise to slow down.
"Okay."
"Okay," she agreed.
"I'll pick you up tomorrow?"
"Okay," she agreed again.
"Okay." More silence. "Well, goodnight."
"Uh, okay. Goodnight."
I hung up, unwillingly, but knowing I had to, since I already said goodnight. Jasper left shortly after and I went to sleep, feeling only slightly better.
0 comments:
Post a Comment