A Special Gift

The Sandbox Presents: Anything Goes Under The Mistletoe

Author: Lou-La

Story Title: A Special Gift

Rating: M/NC-17

Vamp or Human: Human

Number of Words (not including A/N or header/footer): 9,228

Disclaimer: Any and all recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Reader's discretion is advised.

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I hated winter. I hated it with a passion that couldn't be matched. Cold, wet, dirty, cold, just disgusting. The salt would rust my car and the sand always left disgusting shit all over its shiny, silver surface. It was probably better than the ice though. Ice and I didn't get along. Never had. Which was why I was sitting in the pitch black, freezing my ass off, waiting for some fucker to pass and pick me up.

It was Christmas Eve night and I was in a ditch, probably twenty miles from home. My Volvo was loaded with gifts for my family that I hadn't seen in months. I was completely helpless and screwed. I didn't remember Forks being this dark for some reason.

I think I was okay, I didn't feel injured, but I was still in pain. My baby. There wasn't even a flicker of life left in her. The battery had been knocked loose or something because not a light would come on. She wouldn't turn over at all. It was hopeless. I couldn't see two inches in front of my face.

I wasn't usually this unlucky. Tonight, my cell phone died, which never happens, because I charge it religiously. The roads were glare ice and my Volvo wasn't made for handling slick treacheries. My suitcases were in the trunk that I couldn't get too and I was slowly going hypothermic. I hadn't even bought someone a boring sweater this year.

I had no idea what time it was. The only reference I had to my location was that I had been on Highway 101 heading north. I didn't have any paper or ink to write my loved ones a goodbye. And I was going to die. I was sure of it when I sat there for what felt like days and shivered from the cold.

They probably didn't even realize how much I loved them all. I came home so rarely now, always too busy with something work related. It was hardly true though, I just couldn't stand seeing them all so happy. Mom and dad, they were soul mates — it made me sick. My brother Emmett and Rosalie, they were fuck buddies with loyalty to one another that bound them — it made me sick. My sister Alice and Jasper, they were kindred spirits, both misunderstood by everyone else — it made me sick.

Who was I? Just Edward Cullen, the son of Carlisle and his soul mate wife, Esme. I had no one special. Maybe I was too picky; maybe I didn't need someone special. If Emmett and Rosalie could be happy together, why couldn't I be happy with a loyal fuck buddy?

I'd kick my fuck buddies to the curb the second I realized they were nothing more than a tool used for release. Some were pretty, some were just willing, but none were special. I'd thought one of them might have been. Special wasn't the right word for Tanya. No, she was just…unusual.

I preferred brunettes; dark haired, small bodied women. Jessica had been tiny, with dark curly hair. She had blended into Lauren, who had mousy colored hair that was more blonde then brunette. Lauren blended into Heidi who was oddly curvy for someone so slight. Heidi blended into Leah, who was possibly of mixed race with her dark complexion. Leah blended into other nameless women who didn't stand out at all.

Tanya stood out. She was five foot, ten inches and platinum blonde. I'd been attracted to her and I didn't know why, because she was the complete opposite of what I usually went for. My only reason for being attracted to her was that she was possibly special. It was a delusion.

Tanya made me pursue her. She thought herself special. I allowed her to tug me along because I thought she was special too. She teased like no woman I'd ever met. It was oddly enjoyable to be strung along…for a while. I started feeling very much like a puppet as I handed her a fifty dollar bill without a second thought. She always went a little bit further sexually every time I handed her cash.

I fell for the delusion. She used my idea of her being special to keep me going and wouldn't fuck me for the fear of me "wham, bam, thank you ma'am"-ing her. She wasn't wrong. The second I was inside of her, I knew she wasn't special. I discarded her like yesterday's news.

That was two months ago and I was still wondering if I made a mistake. I was sure she wasn't special, but she was someone and someone was better than being alone night after night. Someone would have kept me warm in this car. She was my unusual someone and I could have settled. She would have stayed loyal for the money and I would have stayed loyal for the companionship. We could have been like Emmett and Rosalie, though I was beginning to doubt that was a full truth. Our sex hadn't been good. All I ever heard about from Emmett was how great his sex life was.

I don't think being a business owner helped or hindered my chances with women. Some women saw Edward Cullen, successful, unmarried business man. Other women saw Edward, the music obsessed Cullen, still unmarried.

Los Angeles was home of the rich and the famous. Every musician needed an instrument and I supplied them the world's greatest. Shit, Dave Navarro has a PRS from my store. Amy Lee bought a Baldwin standalone from me. People knew my name.

I was most definitely thankful that I had brought my leave-me-alone car; putting the Aston in a ditch would have killed me. I would have just offed myself, no hesitation, if I'd have put that beautiful piece of perfection in danger. It was probably weird to have such strong attachments to my cars, but I needed something to love. Because my Baldwin baby grand wasn't portable or with me at all times, I had found solace in my vehicles.

Speaking of loved ones, I really did miss Alice. I actually missed her annoying, compulsive know it all behavior. Everyone thought she was weird, some even thought she was crazy; I actually believed she was gifted. She probably knew exactly where I was at that moment and was sending help. No, honestly, she was probably incredibly pissed at me and letting me suffer and die of hypothermia. I suppose everyone was pissed at me for my absence, both now and in the past.

It was wrong to laugh, but I did. I was probably losing my mind now. I'd seen headlights a dozen or more times and nothing ever went by. So I laughed. It sounded strange to me. I hadn't laughed in a while. My laugh sounded out of tune. I forced it louder and tried to make it sound better, but it didn't work.

For the third time in moments, I glanced up into the rearview mirror, swearing I saw headlights. I didn't get my hopes up when I saw them again. I narrowed my eyes though as the lights seemed to get brighter. I shook my head disbelievingly, thinking it would disappear, but the headlight beams glittered at me through my mirror and I grew hopeful.

I didn't know whether to be happy or sad that I could hear the vehicle. I should have been ecstatic, I was saved. But it was still so far back and I could hear it. It sounded anciently loud. It would be just my bad luck of the night to get in the vehicle and end up stranded again.

It approached closer and I tried my door again, though I knew it wouldn't work. I was rocked awkwardly up against a tree on an angle and both driver's side doors were jammed against the ground. The passenger door was also jammed from the tree, and the back passenger door wouldn't open from the inside. Stupid fucking child safety locks. Why I left them set, I'll never know. I suppose it was just tonight's luck.

I was in a rut, literally. Steep ditches and trees were like bear traps and small children; no good came out of the two being put together. Unnecessarily dangerous.

The ditches weren't deep though, thankfully, just steep. Those headlights had to catch the silver of my car. And the driver would stop. Hopefully. An ancient old truck was likely being driven by some random douchey guy or old man. With the weather conditions, I was leaning towards a random douchey guy. My chances were again looking slim. But I started kicked at my window anyway.

It killed me to kick her, but I had to do it. I wished I could wait until I knew if this fucker was even going to stop, but I had to make the chances better for myself. So I fought to kick my window out. Probably for the first time in my life, I wished for manual crank windows. I wouldn't have had to kick her if she had crank downs.

Alas, she didn't so I kicked her. The first kick was the hardest, mentally. The last kick was actually the hardest physically. Obviously it was, since it broke the window. I'll admit, seeing the brake lights of the loud, ancient vehicle on the road gave me encouragement. The glass shattered out and I climbed through, leaving everything with my car and rushing to try to get up that damn embankment.

The old truck was past me, still braking with bright red taillights and sliding on the icy road. They were trying to stop but the road wasn't having it. They were careful and I sort of jogged along, trying to catch up while shivering to death and slip-sliding around like a fool.

The truck finally shuddered to a stop and I picked myself up off the ground after my most recent fall that I didn't feel. My hands were shaking and numb and I could barely get the door open, but when I did, I was met with warmth and I took it. Suddenly, anciently old trucks were my favorite as I hugged the warm dashboard, pushing my fingers against the heat vents. My teeth were chattering so loud I could hardly hear anything else.

"Thank you," I sobbed tearlessly, "thank you."

I said it more to the dashboard than anything, as I hadn't even glanced at who had stopped for me yet. I couldn't take my face off the warm, hard dashboard.

"Does it go higher?" I begged, turning my face just slightly to see the heat controls. I reached for them, noticing that it did indeed go higher. A small pale hand met mine at the controls and we both pulled away as soon as our skin touched.

The feel of the hand simply brushing mine was impossible. I didn't feel on death's doorstep when the hand touched mine. It was so warm, I could've sworn it warmed my entire body, somehow. It felt almost electric.

"Your hand is so cold," came a very soft, girlish voice.

My eyes darted to the driver. She was certainly female. Her eyes locked with mine and I unconsciously sat up straight, feeling like a fool for everything I'd already done in front of her. It was the last thought I had before realizing just what sat next to me.

She was plain — plain as in she was natural in her appearance. From her eyes to her lips, she was free of makeup. Her eyes were deep, dark brown and her hair was of the same color, while her skin was contrastingly pale. Her nose was small and straight, her face thin and fragile. Her lips sat full and pink against her small jaw. She was plain, natural. Plainly and naturally beautiful.

I was very much staring at her lips still when they moved. I felt myself tilting my head to inspect their exact shape and everything inside of her mouth that she was revealing to me. "I saw your car," she said.

I smiled through my chattering teeth. It was hilariously obvious that she'd seen my car. I replied with, "you stopped for me."

She simply nodded. "You look very cold. I'll take you to the hospital."

Despite the airbag trauma and hypothermic numbness, I felt fine. "How close are we to Forks?" I asked her.

Her eyebrows wrinkled slightly and I felt the urge to run my fingers over them to straighten them back. I also wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. "Just a few miles."

I shook my head. "No, not the hospital. I'm fine."

The last thing I needed was to wind up in my father's hospital and have him called in. Their Christmas didn't need to be ruined and I didn't need my father driving on these roads.

I leaned back towards the vents and pushed my hands on the openings again, never taking my eyes off the creature that was before me. She was enthralling. She looked shaken by something. "You okay to drive?" I asked her.

She bit her bottom lip momentarily, though the image was burned into my brain. She nodded then. I wondered again what she was thinking, why she'd bit her lip, and hoped she'd do it again. "Where to?"

"Are you headed to Forks?" She nodded. "Do you live in town?" Again she bit her lip. I memorized the way her lip indented against her white teeth. She nodded again. "I'm up past town. I'm not going to ask you to drive past town on these roads. Just leave me…."

Where? Forks didn't even have a hotel. I hadn't talked to anyone from here in years and I didn't know anyone anymore, besides my parents. The hospital was looking like my only option.

She didn't ask anymore questions but turned back to the steering wheel and put the obnoxiously loud, old truck in drive.

"Do you mind?" I asked, reaching for the heat control again. With my eyes still glued on her, I saw her glance at me through the side of her eyes and smile slightly. I took that to mean yes. I cranked the heat as high as it went and shuddered, much happier now that feeling was slowly and painfully coming back to my limbs and appendages.

The hum of the radio was quiet and distant and it was unusual for me not to want to turn it up. Silence was rarely something I felt comfortable in, but it felt good here. Despite not knowing my company, I was comforted by her silence. Maybe my brain was still frozen.

The perilous roads proved very difficult for our travel. I was still unsure where I was suppose to go from here.

"What is your name?" I asked softly into the quiet. I was still staring at her unabashedly and I caught the movement of her eyes darting towards me again then quickly back to the road. "You probably know my father if you're from Forks. His name is Carlisle Cullen."

I hadn't even got his full last name out when she snorted obnoxiously. The sound startled me, though I was still staring. Her eyes were amused as she glanced at me again. "I knew you looked familiar," she said, a gorgeous smile gracing her lips.

"Excuse me," I asked, "do I know you?" I was so confused. I racked my brain for any inkling of who this enchanting woman was and I came up with nothing.

Her cheeks went bright red and I wanted to lean over and feel the warmth on my numb face. "No, we've never met. I know your father. Well," she hurried on, "I shouldn't say that. We're acquaintances. We've met many times and are pretty much on a first name basis now." I noticed the amusement in the way she said that, but she quickly blushed darker and darted her eyes from the road to me again. "That was unprofessional. I'm a patient of his, I'm in his hospital all the time." I think I heard her groan this time when she blushed darker. "I'm not like crazy or something," she spoke quietly with a defensive tone. "I'm just…accident prone, is all."

I chuckled softly and received another glance from her, possibly an angry one this time. "I never thought you were crazy."

I think we were both aware that introductions still hadn't taken place, but neither of us was ready to delve into that awkward conversation again. Not when the quiet was so comforting.

I was so busy watching her face flush from the warmth of the car, I hadn't noticed we were entering town. She started to speak again, which drew my eyes to her mouth, and the gap between her moving lips had held a house which was my indicator of town. "You're Edward."

She didn't say it as a question, but I still gave her the confirmation she'd been seeking. "Yes." I didn't ask for her name again. I had asked once and she'd avoided.

I could feel the vehicle starting to slow and when she ever so gently tapped the brakes, we started to slide. "You were on your way up to the Cullen place then? I don't think I can drive these roads all the way up there, Edward, I'm sorry."

Truthfully, all the way up there was only about fourteen and a half miles, including the mile long driveway, but with these roads, it would have take hours at best. Death, at worst.

"I wouldn't ask you to." Even from a complete stop, the right turn she made had her tail end slide, nearly hitting a stop sign. The ice was ridiculous. We hadn't passed a car the entire time. "What were you doing out on these roads?" I inquired.

"Tomorrow's Christmas," she replied with a shrug. "We have certain traditions that have to be perfect."

I grew irrationally angry. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking. I wanted to give her a lecture on the importance of her life. I wanted to tell her that one year of breaking a stupid tradition didn't mean the end of the world. But seeing as I didn't even know her name, I kept quiet and silently questioned my own mental state. I vaguely wondered what she meant by "we" as I couldn't see a wedding ring on her finger.

We stayed silent the rest of the drive. I had no clue where she was taking me or where I would go from there. I continued to shiver and quake still painfully cold, even in the warmth of the blowing heaters. Her side of the truck looked inviting. She seemed to be radiating warmth.

We approached a mediocre house that didn't stand out against its neighbors. It was two stories with white vinyl siding and a small porch. The general appearance and location of the house sparked some memories but nothing of significance. She pulled into a gravel drive next to the house and put the truck in park, leaving it running.

"Listen," she started, and then paused. She seemed to be contemplating what she was going to say while chewing on that bottom lip of hers. I wanted so badly to reach over and pull that beautiful, full bottom lip that looked so tender from between her teeth. Perhaps lean in and place a kiss on it. Run my tongue over it to soothe the pain she had inflicted on it.

I shook my head sharply to dispel those thoughts. Frustrated with myself, I ran my hand through my already tousled and wild hair. "I don't expect you to invite me in. You don't know me. I'll just…" I looked down the road where we had come from. Maybe I could walk to the bar on Main Street. Would a bar be open on Christmas Eve? Oh, how fitting for me, spending Christmas Eve in a bar, alone. At least it would be warm there. "Don't worry about it," I said to her, forcing a smile.

With still numbed, shaking fingers, I reached for the door handle to let myself back out into the frosty night air.

"No, wait," she gasped hurriedly. "Okay, just listen," she said, looking like she was fighting the urge to bite her lip again. "I don't do this. I don't bring strange guys home with me, ever." I fought back a chuckle at her serious business tone. "Just understand that I'm not being inappropriate when I ask you to stay the night with me. In my house, I mean. Not with me." Her whole face was bright red, down to her exposed collarbones even. She was muttering underneath her breath what sounded like, "God, just shut up."

I grinned, feeling cocky for some reason, and hugely amused by this woman. "I'd be delighted to not spend the night with you in your house."

The glare that I received excited me. It was so timidly malevolent. This woman was so unbelievably beautiful. And interesting. I wanted to know her, even more than I wanted to fuck her.

That never happens, my mind added. I ignored it and followed her out of the truck.

She kind of shuffled her feet the entire way, not daring pick them up off the ground. She was certainly accident prone. Just walking around the front of the truck she slipped three times, grabbing the bulbous hood to catch herself each time. I followed quickly behind her, gladly catching her each time she slipped. Truthfully, I would have found any reason just to be close to her. This was the perfect reason.

Her response to my catching her each time before she fell was simply to blush an exquisite shade of red. I think she knew I was secretly laughing on the inside, and enjoying the hell out of my chivalry – and being close to her – because she started to give me angry glances as I followed closer and closer behind her.

We came to the stairs on the porch. I barely believed my own nerve as I wrapped my arm securely around her waist and lifted her up to the dry portion of the porch to keep her from slipping on the ice. She blushed fiercely, looking momentarily stunned.

"Um…thanks?"

I chuckled at her gratitude, nervously running my hand through my hair. "No problem." Strange, strange girl, I added in my head, still unaware of her name.

Her keys jingled as she searched for the right one to open the door. She paused before swinging the front door open, glancing at me over her shoulder one final time before opening her home to me.

I stepped in gratefully as she seemed to be having difficulty removing the key from the lock. I waited just inside the doorway as she yanked and shoved, finally freeing the key. I heard her grumble as she kicked the door closed. She turned around quickly, nearly running right into me and gasped at our proximity.

I watched as her eyes darted upwards and her face turned bright red. Almost immediately, she fixed her eyes on something behind me and I curiously looked up and grinned crookedly at the green sprig with white berries.

The girl hurriedly pulled off her coat, kicked her shoes off, and started away from me but I gently caught her arm. My pinky was barely brushing her skin where the sleeve of her shirt ended, and I again felt the warmth radiate from her into my body.

I wondered if she felt it too. Her eyes were wide, staring at where our skin was meeting. I took a quick breath to refocus myself.

"Now, now," I commented, leaning in close to her. "You are the traditional type, remember?" I asked, tapping the bag in her hand.

Ever so gently, giving her every chance to escape me if she so wished to, I cupped the side of her cheek and lowered my face close to hers. Her breath whooshed out from between her lips and tickled my cold face with warmth. I slowly slid the tip of my nose along the side of hers, breathing her in and noticing for the first time that she smelled divine.

I wished I knew her name so I could whisper it before I kissed her.

With that thought, I hissed a breath between my teeth and stood up straight, pulling away from her. I would not kiss this kind, wonderful, caring woman without knowing her name. I couldn't.

I quickly released her from me, stepping back. "I'm very sorry," I apologized, while she stood gaping at me. "That was completely inappropriate. Please forgive me?"

Her mouth snapped shut and her eyes darted away from me again as she bobbed her head stiffly. She picked up her coat from the floor and hung it up and all but ran away from me. I didn't blame her; I probably was coming across as a real creep.

I didn't follow her. Instead, I hesitantly started down the entry hall, taking in my surrounding. My eyes quickly found a familiar news article: Forks Police Chief saves boy from school fire.

It had been during my senior year. A mentally challenged boy in the elementary school had gotten trapped in a bathroom stall and nearly died when a troubled child had started the garbage on fire. Chief Charlie Swan had saved the day.

Did this girl know the Chief? Did she know the boy who could have died?

I followed down the table filled with picture frames. Most of them held single school pictures of the girl from preschool to her senior pictures. An even older newspaper clipping caught my attention: Deputy Swan to replace Cheney as Forks Chief of Police.

Huh.

Then there it was: a picture of the girl and Chief Swan, sitting on the porch of this very house, laughing.

"Oh shit," I gasped, making the realization.

I'd heard Charlie had a daughter, Isabella, I think. She lived with her mother most of her young life, hardly visiting her father. Alice had said something about her moving up here, it had been the talk of the town when it actually happened.

Isabella Swan. That was definitely who this was. She had Charlie's eyes and nose and their hair was the same color. This was Charlie's house; that was how I'd vaguely recognized it.

I was in Chief Charlie Swan's house, with his daughter, whom I'd just tried to kiss.

I chuckled humorlessly to myself.

Charlie Swan and I had some good times. He was drawn to me like some magnetic source whenever I was doing something less than legal.

Running my hands nervously through my hair, I walked in the direction I'd last seen Isabella. I found her in the kitchen. I stayed in the doorway, keeping my distance.

"So, Isabella, has your dad told you anything about me?" I asked, smirking though I wanted to grimace.

"No, Edward, my father keeps his work private. It's Bella, by the way."

I grunted understanding and took her light, friendly tone as a welcome to enter. I pulled out a chair from the table and hoped the one I picked was Charlie's as I made myself comfortable in it, confidently crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, he's arrested me twice," I told her.

She swiveled, giving me a dirty look. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

My eyes immediately fell to my knees, my hands dropping from my chest in defeat. Six terse words from her and I felt like a puppy who had his nose rubbed in his mess.

"No," I said. "Absolutely not. I'm sorry."

"What did he get you for?" she asked quietly.

My heart fluttered. Did she feel bad for being short with me?

My eyes scanned the back of her head hopelessly. I just wanted to hear an inkling of what was going on in there.

Bella looked over her shoulder expectantly and I swear I felt my face heat up at the realization of not having answered her question.

"Underage drinking and stealing. I was a stupid teenager," I quickly explained. I rubbed my scalp awkwardly. "I also have a tendency to speed."

Her eyes appeared amused as she looked over her shoulder at me again. "We all were at one time, Edward."

My lips twitched upwards, the amused tone in her voice making me feel oddly giddy. "I highly doubt that," I commented.

She turned towards me again, this time her hands were planted on her hips, but in a good-humored way. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I just highly doubt you were ever a stupid teenager," I replied honestly.

Her face turned red and I grinned winningly.

She sputtered slightly, her blush darkening. "I'll have you know," she started, throwing a hand in my direction, effectively making me chuckle, "I was a big trouble maker! I'm technically supposed to still be grounded," she added, drawing a snort from me. "It's not funny," she pouted. "I-I ran away from home, twice. Charlie grounded me for life."

I had to cover my mouth to hold in the laughter. She honestly believed she was a trouble maker and it was the goddamned funniest thing I'd ever heard.

She huffed indignantly and turned back to what she was doing at the counter. My brain and feet weren't connected as I pushed off and was almost instantly at her side. My hands snaked out and lightly grasped her hips as I stepped in behind her to see what she was up to.

Bella squeaked in surprise and jumped at my closeness. I quickly registered what I'd done and, horrified, I stepped away from her, holding my hands up in innocence.

"Shit," I cussed. "I'm sorry, I don't know…I wasn't…that was…Bella, I'm sorry."

Her wide, shocked eyes squinted as she looked at me and I tensed as she worriedly stared at my face. Her hands slowly rose and she covered both of my cheeks with her palms. She gasped and my eyes slid closed as I leaned into her warm touch and shuddered.

"Edward, you're so cold."

"Am I?" I asked, not knowing, but trusting her to tell me the truth. I honestly wasn't sure of my own name at the moment.

"I'll start a fire in the fireplace for you. Go upstairs and take a shower. You need to get warm." I took in her words and hummed in approval. Her fingers left my face and I could feel my lower lip jutting out in a pout. Her warmth sparked me again as she took my hand and pulled lightly. "Come on."

My eyes just barely opened. Her dark locks caught my eyes and I followed, enchanted by the way they swayed. I tripped on the first step, but quickly gained some bearings and managed the rest without too much difficulty.

The bathroom was the first door on the right, and Bella lead me through it. As she reached into the shower to start the water, I pulled my shirt off, dropping it to the floor.

"Okay, that should—" her words cut off with a gasp as she turned around to meet my bare chest. I watched, enthralled, as her bottom lip popped into her mouth and she sucked on it, her throat bobbed as she swallowed thickly.

That was simply all it took for my jeans to get unbearably tight. Her eyes drooped lustily and I ached to reach out and grab her.

Her head snapped back quickly enough to frighten me and her eyes locked upwards on the ceiling. "I'll be…stairs…call…anything," she gasped out, hurriedly skirting around me.

I groaned disappointedly to myself. But her absence left me shivering and the bathroom filling with steam drew me to the promisingly warm shower.

Shit, I'm fucking freezing, I realized. I stripped the rest of my clothes and nearly broke the shower door trying to get to the water.

The water hit me with a painful sting and my body shook so forcefully I nearly collapsed.

What the fuck? I wondered, how the hell could I suddenly be so cold again?

Bella. Ah, yes, Bella and her weird warm sparks. Just thinking about her made me impossibly warmer. That was certainly not normal. It wasn't possible to get physically warmer while simply thinking of someone. I suppose warmth could be generated by closeness. That had to be the reason for the weird shit. I was simply so cold that proximity to 98.6 degrees of body heat made me warm and I wasn't thinking straight because of my near hypothermic state.

No, contradicted a voice in my head. I ignored it.

As I stood under the warm spray, I continued to think of her. Bella was gorgeous, fucking lovely, and everything I considered my "type." Even the shyness, which I didn't even know I had a thing for — but I definitely did have a thing for it. Christ, that blush was beautiful. Her hair was beautiful. Those lips. Everything from the roots of her hair to the balls of her feet was beautiful. She was…

"Oh fuck me," I groaned, bracing my hand against the shower wall as the weight of the word crushed me.

Bella was special.

There wasn't even an hint of doubt in my mind that, that word fit her. My take on the word special had never really had a meaning, but now, just one word fit the description: Bella.

Frustrated, I grabbed a handful of wet hair. I vaguely registered the water was starting to run cold and I cranked the cold water off, filling the room with hot steam again.

This just couldn't be good. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

Thinking I needed someone special and finding the special one were two separate goddamned entities entirely. I never expected to actually label someone with that stupid word. It was all a hoax that was put in place so I didn't have to settle down in a love slash hate, half baked, crappy marriage.

Marriage? my mind squeaked.

"Oh, holy shit," I growled, pulling my hair helplessly.

This is way out of hand. I needed to calm the fuck down.

"Edward, are you okay?" called her voice up the steps, sending my heart into my throat with every choking emotion I'd ever experienced.

Calm down. You don't even know her. Shit, this could be a giant fluke induced by the cold. Let it go.

I sighed heavily, making my lungs ache.

The hot water was now officially completely gone and I had no choice but to leave the shower.

As my luck would have it, as soon as I stepped out of the shower, Bella's face popped through the still wide open doorway and she was met with my nakedness.

She shrieked in surprise, and I very embarrassedly covered myself with two hands. Bella turned around and my own face flamed.

It was so unlike me. I was never embarrassed. Ever. Especially not when I was naked. I was one proud son of a bitch. Yet, there I stood, red faced, covering my mandangle with two hands.

Her shoulders started shaking.

"Oh, fucking a," I groaned. "Whether you are crying or laughing out there, that is one serious fucking blow to my ego."

Her very own girlish, yet unladylike, obnoxious snort disturbed the silence and laughing rang out loudly before her hands clapped over her mouth and she tried to hold it in.

"Would you get me some fucking clothes or something useful while I talk myself into believing you're not laughing at me?" I asked derisively, grabbing a towel from the shelf and wrapping it tightly around my waist.

She snorted again and when I growled, she launched towards the door across the hall. I followed slowly behind and entered the room that I assumed was hers.

"Yours?" I asked. "How old are you anyway?" I joked, fingering the purple bedspread on the bed. I snorted to myself then. "Bet you've never had a naked man in here before, have you?"

She spun on me, her face set with angry angles before it dropped and she turned red. Her eyes widened slightly. "It hasn't," she admitted. Straightening her back, she added, "Congrats Edward Cullen, you've taken my bedroom's cherry."

"And what about yours?" I hedged. "Is that still intact?"

The anger flared again and she flung a pair of sweatpants at me. "That is none of your business."

I shrugged then purposely dropped my towel and stood proudly, feeling back to my good old self.

"Nice try," she grunted, her eyes not dropping anywhere below chin level.

I chuckled. "I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm simply taking care of this room's cherry the right way. The towel hindered the nakedness." I stroked the doorway thoughtfully. "Besides, I don't penetrate without ensuring an orgasm."

Her mouth popped open and I smirked.

"Get out," she snapped.

Fear tightened in my gut and I immediately grabbed the towel, covering myself again. I absentmindedly questioned whether dropping to my knees and begging for forgiveness would be a better option than just leaving.

"Get out of my room, I need to change," she mumbled, probably aware of my palpable regret.

I quickly backed out and Bella feigned shock. "Nothing snarky or crude to say?"

"Well, I was wondering if you just wanted me to get out so you could have some alone time," I cautiously implied.

She rolled her eyes. "Nope, just need to change."

"Hmm," I hummed. "Having issues in the panty department? Feeling uncomfortable?"

Bella huffed as she stalked towards the door. I swear a smile was on her lips as she shut it in my face.

Something between a sigh and a chuckle escaped my mouth as I waited for her to finish changing. She didn't take long, which made me both happy and disappointed. This hallway was awfully drafty and I still wasn't feeling warm, though I did sort of hope for the sounds of her enjoying some alone time.

When Bella opened the door, she failed to realize I was still standing there, and nearly ran right into me.

"What the hell?" she asked exasperatedly.

"You still haven't given me any clothes. Personally, I really thinking you're taking pleasure in me being mostly naked."

"I really should just kick you out of the house. Maybe you'll learn some manners that way."

I chuckled at her, grabbing the tossed sweatpants off her bed. "My manners are impeccable, would you like me to show you? You should see how mannered I am when I eat." I waggled my eyebrows just for the blush I knew it would induce.

"You're sick," she replied, shaking her head.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, meeting her eyes as I again dropped my towel. She tried to look bored, but her nostrils were flaring and I hoped she was fighting not to look. Either way, I pulled on the sweatpants and gathered the towel to dry my hair, at least partially.

There were a few moments while rubbing the towel over my wet head that I couldn't see her, but my skin prickled in the most interesting way, and I wondered if she was staring. Not giving her a chance to catch on, I pulled the towel away and chuckled as she stood there staring at the waistband of the sweatpants where they hung low on my hips.

Naturally, she blushed, nearly making me groan, and a scowl adorned her full lips. She turned hastily, shoving open her closet door, then throwing a sweatshirt at me.

"I hope it smells like sweat," she chided.

I chuckled and brought the shirt to my nose, inhaling. Involuntarily, a groan escaped my mouth. It smelled like her.

I imagined her wearing the huge sweatshirt. It would have easily hung down to her thighs. I wanted badly for her to be in this sweatshirt instead of the sweatpants and sweatshirt she was wearing. My imaginary Bella wasn't wearing any panties under the sweatshirt, and I definitely wanted to reward her for that.

"Would you like some alone time with that sweatshirt?" she asked cockily.

"Honestly? Yes, I wouldn't mind. I'd prefer you in it, though."

It was not the first line I'd crossed, but it was unquestionably the biggest. Yet, I still don't think she had a clue how badly I wanted her.

"Okay, creep," she said lightheartedly, "get down stairs, I built you a fire."

I obeyed without comment or question.

I followed her into the living room. On the floor beside the fireplace was a large stack of blankets and there was a mug sitting on the lower mantle, presumably with my name on it.

My heart stuttered in my chest and a weight settled uncomfortably in my gut. Gratefully, I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and grabbed the mug, replacing it on the lower mantle, close to the heat of the flames.

"Thank you," I expressed, meeting her eyes as she sat across the room on a small couch.

She nodded.

I shuddered, again realizing just how cold I still was and grabbed another blanket. The hot chocolate in the mug was still hot, thanks to the fire, and it burned on its way down.

The weight in my stomach grew heavier and I found myself talking before I even gave myself permission.

"Listen, Bella, I've probably come across as a completely crass bastard tonight, but I swear to you, I'm not usually this way. I do greatly appreciate what you've done for me. I would have died had you not stopped."

A massive shiver racked my body, almost sending the contents of my mug to the floor. Seemingly instantaneously, Bella was standing in front of me.

"Okay, Edward, lie down, and don't be a pervert," she ordered.

"I can't seem to help it with you," I admitted, following her commands and lying on the blankets she spread out on the floor.

Much to my delight, she laid down too. Slowly, she slid closer, pulling herself flush with me and wrapping my blankets around herself. I forced myself to ignore everything but her warmth as I tried to get closer. I fell asleep the moment her fingers brushed the skin on my bare back.

When I awoke, it was one of the unsettling times where awareness is immediate and you don't even feel like you've been sleeping. Bella was still with me under my blankets, though she wasn't as close as before.

In the firelight, I could see her hair was darkened with sweat and my sweatshirt was feeling wet the same substance. The cold was gone, replaced with stifling heat. I tried to be quiet as I pulled the blankets off of us.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled through sleep.

"We're sweating to death," I replied.

"Go back to sleep," she muttered.

I chuckled at her failed demanding tone. Her eyes popped open and she let out a groan.

"What?" I asked as she stared at me.

"You're just…" she let out the same groan.

"I'm 'ughhhhn'?" I asked confusedly.

Her lips curled up and she nodded, closing her eyes.

"Fuck," I cursed quietly to myself.

"What?" Bella asked back.

"No way am I getting back to sleep now. What the hell does 'ughhhhn' mean?"

Bella shrugged.

"Is it good or bad?"

A groan could mean so many different things: anger, disgust, contempt, misery, and then there was always the groan of attraction.

Bella didn't answer me. I snaked my hand around her waist and her eyes slowly slid open.

"Would you be offended if I told you, you were 'ughhhhn' too?" I asked.

I watched, intrigued, as her teeth bit into her bottom lip and slowly, she shook her head, "no."

"Bella," I whispered, "by 'ughhhhn' I mean the most beautiful, sexy woman I've ever laid eyes on."

Her lip slid from between her teeth with a warm gush of air and her cheeks stained bright red.

"Can I kiss you?" I practically begged.

Her jaw quivered as she attempted to verbalize her answer and I waited, while nothing came out. Finally, she bobbed her head.

"Say it," I pleaded, needing to hear that she wanted me to kiss her before I did it.

She shook her head slightly.

I was utterly astounded when her fingers knotted into the back of my sweat soaked hair and she pulled our mouths together.

The sparks I'd been feeling from her exploded under my skin when she rolled onto her back, pulling me along so I was on top of her while she traced my lower lip with her tongue. Greedily, I opened my mouth to her, snaking my tongue along hers, tasting and feeling her.

I knew she was special, but kissing her, she felt like even more than that. She felt like my soul mate, my fuck buddy, my kindred spirit. She felt like a part of me that I didn't know I was missing until I found her. She felt like everything I ever wanted and needed. She felt like home.

One of her hands left my hair and slid down my side, fisting into the sweatshirt and trying to pull me closer. When that didn't work, she shoved the sweatshirt up, pressing her fingers into my back. My body pressed firmly down against hers. I was hard by now, and I knew for a fact that the sweatpants were tented and not hiding an inch of my arousal from her as I pressed myself on her thigh.

Her other leg slipped from underneath me and wrapped itself around my leg, pulling me closer to her. She arched her own hips up, pressing her core against my hip and probably not gaining any friction at all.

Frustrated for her, I pulled back from her lips and watched my hand traverse her torso to between her legs. The fabric of the baggy sweatpants bunched as I pressed my hand to her core and she still moaned, despite the layers.

I met her eyes and the amount of desire in them had me back to kissing her roughly. I fisted the thick material under my fingers and pulled. Aided by her arching hips, I got the sweatpants to her knees and she kicked them off from there.

With just the thin material of her panties left, I had much easier navigation. The fact that she was wet through her panties had me grinding on her thigh like some virginal teenager and I couldn't bring myself to care because every time my fingers pressed harder on her clit through the underwear, she made that groaning sound into my mouth.

I grew frustrated again and shoved her panties to the side. I groaned when her heat and wetness met my fingertips directly. I quickly gathered some of the abundant moisture and spread it across her clit, rubbing tight circles there.

I pulled my mouth away from hers when her leg clamped down around mine. Transfixed, I watched her face contort in pleasure, creating the most beautiful picture I'd ever seen.

"Bella," I whispered.

"Edward," she cried between gasps as she came.

In that moment, I knew exactly who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. No one had ever called my name that way before. I'd never been so engrossed with the pleasure of another. Never had I wanted to be the one to induce it again and again, to always hear my name from her lips.

"Bella," I whispered again.

Her fingers tangled back in my hair, once again bringing our mouths together in a kiss. Her hands pulled me free of my shirt. Mine did the same for her, followed by her bra. I littered her skin with kisses, licking and sucking her nipples, tasting her from her lips to her thighs and everything between.

Her skin was unbelievable, so soft and blemish free. She tasted like strawberries and vanilla mixed with woman. I couldn't get enough of it. My tongue lapped, my teeth raked, my lips caressed, anything just to get her flavor in my mouth.

After an entirely too short time, she pulled me back up by my hair, kicking my pants down with her feet. I groaned as she pressed herself against my length.

"Bella," I panted, pulling away slightly.

Our eyes met and an unspoken question was asked and answered as we came together again, grinding and kissing.

Our lips separated and I used the moment to convey a deep thought. "I don't want this to be a one time thing."

"Then it won't be," she assured, lining up her entrance with my head and pressing me into her.

I forced myself to take it slow. I watched her as I entered her. Her eyes fluttered and her breath caught with each careful press I made. She never showed any sign of pain, regret, stress. She smiled when my pubic bone pressed against her clit, my testicles against her ass. She squeezed me tightly with her inner muscles and I groaned at the feeling of her surrounding me completely. I kissed her curved lips and moaned into her mouth as she squeezed me again.

I never met a barrier, though I couldn't decide if I was thankful for that or jealous of the bastard who took it. It was the first time I'd ever thought about a woman's virginity and wished I'd been her first, and last.

Despite the missing hymen, she was unbelievably tight and combined with her wet heat, I could hardly keep my toes uncurled.

She kept urging me faster with her hands, pulling on my hips and digging her fingers into my back. It was hard to take. I wanted to plow her into the floor and never stop, but at the same time I wanted to be the gentlest lover she'd ever had, show her even slow and soft could win races.

My mind played with the images. Fast, hard fucks had their perks. But I kept picturing us twined together, loving each other. Every part of our body was tangled with the other's and we hardly moved. She was in my lap, I had her supported there, and I kissed every inch of her skin that my lips could reach. We were covered in sweat, rocking together at a tender pace. I could imagine the way her lips would quiver and she would quietly whimper in need. The intimate closeness, the intense orgasm, feelings her in such a deep way. I wanted it. Of all the positions I'd ever tried, that one was not one I'd been interested in. I wanted it with Bella.

Her encouragement continued relentlessly and I was weak. The sounds she made with every thrust drove me on. The feel of her nails scratching my skin, and on occasion, her teeth biting into me, made me crazy with need. My thrusts grew more insistent, much to her pleasure.

I could feel her heartbeat pumping erratically; I could feel it in her chest, under my lips as I sucked at her throat, I could feel it inside of her. I could feel her arousal on my legs, so wet and warm. Her breathing tickled my ear and my hair and somehow made me hotter. All things I never noticed with anyone else.

Her moans grew thicker, filling the room with noise and I joined her, grunting and groaning as my orgasm drew closer.

"Bella," I grunted between long, deep thrusts, "so close."

She whimpered a soft mewling sound into my ear and raked her nails down my back, grabbing my ass and pressing me into her. "Harder," she begged.

I groaned and wrapped my arm under her hips, hugging her to me and quickened my pace again, pressing into her body with enough force to fill the room with the slapping sound created by sex.

"Oh, Edward," she gasped, her inner muscles clenching down on me tight as a vice grip.

"Fuck," I grunted, pressing in harder and deeper yet, knowing we were both teetering on the brink.

"Edward," she cried, her mouth finding my ear and panting hard into it as her body shook, clenching around me.

"God, Bella," I moaned, shortening my thrusts, releasing deep inside of her as I continued to rock, and she milked me until we were both spent.

I sighed as both of our bodies relaxed and I rolled off of her, staying close to her side. She rolled too, draping her arm over my torso and resting her face against my chest.

"Think you can sleep now?" she asked.

I chuckled, running my fingers through her sweat wetted hair. "I suppose I can try."

She placed a kiss against my chest and I rolled towards her, scooting down until we were face to face. I kissed her lightly, then rested my head against my forearm and she did the same.

She fell asleep quickly and I followed.

When she woke up, I was sitting cross-legged between her thighs. I'd been waiting for hours for the sun to rise and for her to open her eyes.

"Merry Christmas," I chanted happily.

She smiled, much to my relief. "Merry Christmas," she said back.

She tried to sit up but I restrained her lightly, my hand on her stomach. "Ah, ah, love, I want my present first."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion, whether over my hasty endearment or present comment, I wasn't sure. Her eyes followed mine down to her lower stomach.

She snorted. "That's not even a bow, Edward, that's mistletoe."

"I know," I replied, grinning cheekily. "That was my plan. And the mistletoe does have a bow on it."

I quickly grabbed the branch and showed her, then tossed it to the side, leaning in to kiss directly below where it had been.

"Oh, holy Christmas," Bella moaned, falling back into the blankets.

My gift this year was the only one I could ever want: the special someone I always needed, brought to me by a series of deemed unlucky events that I wouldn't have changed for the world.

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A/N: More LOVE to my beta, Strae. Don't forget to check her out here on FF. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1930432