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A/N: This one of my favorite stories ever: Click
This is my beta: Click
I think we have an emergency
And you do your best to show me love,
but you don't know what love is.
So are you listening?
So are you watching me?
Well I can't pretend that I don't see this
But it's really not your fault
When no one cares to talk about it.
Paramore ~ Emergency
Chapter 7
I didn't expect to wake up next to a warm body, but I did. I figured after last night, he'd sneak away when I was asleep. The warm weight next to me was welcome enough, but the lingering feelings just wouldn't go away.
He looked so peaceful in his sleep though, I couldn't bring myself to disturb him. Very carefully, I slid from the bed. He didn't stir. I tiptoed to my dresser, pulling out the first items my hands connected with and dressed quickly. Cautious of the creaky floorboards and the opening point where the door started to squeal, I exited my bedroom and made my way downstairs.
I sighed, taking in the kitchen and its disrepair. Everything had been left the way it was last night, a complete and utter mess... not just the kitchen.
– – –
Jake's thoughts and feelings were obvious on his face, changing almost as quickly as they registered. He was angry, he was hurt, betrayed, jealous, resentful, loathing, repulsed...
Suddenly every emotion just stopped. He unclenched his fists, rolled out his shoulders, and looked straight past me.
"You ready for bed then, Bells?" He didn't have the audacity to smirk.
"I think we need to talk first," I muttered.
"About what?" he asked impartially, shrugging his shoulders.
My first thoughts were to scream, "About what?" incredulously, but I realized that it wasn't my turn to be angry and held it in. Instead, I jerked my head towards the living room and said, "It would be best if we had a conversation in private," through my teeth.
"What conversation?" he asked, his jaw tightening infinitesimally.
"You know what."
Jake shook his head and made a big show of stretching and yawning. "Let's just go to bed, baby."
"No, Jake, we need to talk."
"No, we don't," he said firmly, grabbing hold of my arm. "I said let's go to bed, now please, let's just go to fucking bed."
Oh. He knew too. He could seriously ignore this and stay with me? He would push aside the fact that I presumably told Alice I was going to bang my housemate? He'd ignore it just so we didn't have to have this fight?
"Please?" he begged. The hurt, the agony was there in his eyes for a split second before he again hid it. A numb, indifferent mask took its place and his eyes moved to the side of my head again.
"I don't think she wants to go to bed with you."
I could have slapped myself in the freaking forehead, or his preferably.
"What?" Jake deadpanned.
"I said, I don't think she wants to go to bed with you," Edward injected, more firmly this time.
"Edward, please stay out of this."
Jake glared past me at Edward, the mask slipping again and revealing hate beyond hate and unyielding anger and undue jealousy.
"You shut your fucking mouth," Jake said lowly, darkly. His voice was kind of sexy.
"You fucking let go of Bella, now," Edward growled back. Holy shit.
Jake didn't let go, if anything his grip tightened. It was really sort of painful. I may have whimpered.
"I said get your fucking hands off of her!" Edward yelled, panic crossing his face. He shook his head slightly and the panic was gone, replaced with anger.
"She's my fucking girlfriend, I'll put my hands on her when I want to. You keep your fucking hands off of her."
"Ow, shit, Jake, seriously that hurts," I added, admittedly girlish and whiny sounding compared to their deep, fearsome voices.
His grip dropped from my arm, disbelief marring his features as he stared at my arm. He looked like he was about to say something, but before he could get it out, I was being yanked in the opposite direction. Warm, strong arms were around my waist, pulling me effectively out of Jake's sight. The incredulous look on his face would have been laughable if not for the fact that I was currently feeling the same way.
Edward pulled my around the corner into the hallway then seemed to cover my body in his own as he pushed me against the way, not roughly, actually sort of... gingerly. His fingers were gentle as he probed my arm.
"Fuck, it's going to bruise. I'm going to kill him. How could you not tell me he does this to you? Bella, you don't deserve to be brutalized."
"What?" I asked, barely able to register his words they were said so quickly. I'd very clearly heard something about killing and 'brutalized'.
"God, Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have realized sooner. I'm such an idiot. Are you okay? Please don't pass out on me again. Does it hurt badly? Do you have any other—"
"Hey, I thought I just fucking told you to keep your fucking hands off of her."
Edward growled. He fucking growled. And not only did he fucking growl, he body-checked me up against the wall. That, or he just fucking humped me. I was sort of inclined to go with the latter. It would be nice to be humped against a wall by his hard, delicious body, which I could feel every curve of with him standing so close.
It wasn't hard in all the right places, but it was definitely hard in most of the right places. Hopefully I wasn't such a failure that I couldn't get him hard in that one final, perfect place. His hard abs, his firm pecs, his thick thighs, his bulging arms... Damn it, I want his cock hard, firm, thick, and bulging, too.
"You're never going to fucking touch her again. I won't let you fucking touch her if you can't do it right."
His voice rumbled through his chest, thrilling me with its vibrations. I had enough sense not to moan, though I wanted to, but I might have pushed my body closer to his.
"What the fuck did you tell him, Bella?" Jake asked, his voice betraying the cold mask. Hurt, betrayal, loss...
Jake.
"What?"
"She didn't tell me anything!" Edward yelled again, panic oh-so obvious. His scared eyes locked with mine and he exhaled quickly.
It was then that I smelled the liquor on his breath.
"You've been drinking," I accused.
"What?" he asked quietly.
"You're drunk."
He shook his head . "No, I'm not." I nodded challengingly. He shook his head again. "I'm not drunk. I had a few drinks a couple hours ago, yes, but I'm not drunk. And she didn't tell me anything, she didn't have to," he added angrily over his shoulder.
His drinking certainly would have had something to do with his bizarre behavior. From the tempting way he seemed to like to be close to me tonight, to the weird shit he kept saying, it was all alcohol induced.
Sadly, he probably didn't actually want to hump me against the wall. His inebriated state probably made him lose his balance and just accidentally grind his hot, yummy body all over me.
"You won't touch her again. Now get the fuck out," Edward said, the growling tone back. His arm snaked around my waist and he somehow managed to pull me closer.
Oh my fuck...
"Who the fuck do you think you are, buddy? If you don't take your hands off of my girlfriend, I'm going to rip your fucking arms off."
"I'd like to see you try, asshole. You lost your fucking chance. I know how to touch a woman, while you... You're just a fucking loser."
What the fuck is he talking about? Could he possibly make this any worse?
"I'm going to fucking kill you," Jake seethed.
"She's not yours."
Jake lunged and Edward tried to push me out of the way, but I clung to him.
"Stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Edward hissed and covered his ears while Jake simply froze.
All of it came crashing down on me like a ton of fucking bricks.
These two are fucking idiots. Or maybe I'm the fucking idiot. Oh, cheese and rice.
"Both of you take your asses into that fucking kitchen and sit the fuck down. If either of you so much as lay a finger on the other, I will rip your fucking dicks off."
They both stood there, slack jawed and staring. Yeah, I'm hot shit, I know this.
"Now!"
Jake sort of jumped, then scurried, if it was possible to scurry when you're over six feet tall. Edward hesitated, cautiously keeping himself between Jake and myself at all times.
I huffed and pushed him off of me. "Go!"
He pulled his hands away from me quickly, looking incredibly guilty and apologetic. "I did not mean to put my hands on you in an inappropriate manner without your consent, Bella. Please forgive me."
"Edward, go."
His shoulders dropped slightly and his head hung as he shuffled toward the kitchen.
I sighed and followed.
Damage control is a motherfucker.
Once they were both seated, safely on opposite sides of the table from each other, I gave them a warning glare then walked away. I grabbed a spoon and one of the personal little containers of Ben and Jerry's 'everything but the...' that I'd gotten on sale at the Port Angeles Walmart. I dug in while they both stared at me like I'd just lit up a crack pipe.
After the first three overly large spoonfuls, I figured I should probably stop stuffing my face and talk.
"I've had a really shitty day, like that day when your beloved pet dies, only it wasn't a real pet that died today. Anyways, you are both going to sit there and keep your mouths shut while I explain."
They stared blankly, I took their silence to be a good thing and shoved down another spoonful of ice cream. For luck.
"Okay, first off, Edward." Standing at the head of the table, I turned my entire body towards him and leaned onto my palms. "Jacob does not, and never has, hit me."
"What?" Jake shouted.
I turned a glare on him and he quickly closed his mouth. He was confused, I didn't blame him. The thought of him hitting me was ridiculous. As he sat there, his eyebrows slowly inched closer and closer together, finally meeting in the middle and looking like one thick, nasty unibrow. The only time the unibrow came out was when Jake was really confused. It usually made me laugh, but not tonight.
"I don't know where you got the idea that he hits me, but it's outrageous and you are going to forget that you even thought it up in the first place. Understand?"
"But—"
"Edward, I don't know how to make this any clearer. I am not abused. Do you understand?"
"Yes, but—"
"Okay, now Jake. That message you heard was not what you think. I am not going to do that and never had any intention to."
Shit, that was sort of a lie.
Jake must have saw me cringe or just knew that I was lying because he shook his head and said, "Right..."
"Jake... I wouldn't do that to you, ever. Please believe me. I don't care what the circumstances were, I would not ever do that to you."
I saw his face fall slightly before he turned his head away. Staring out the window over the sink, Jake whispered, "Why?"
"Because... that's not the type of person I am."
His head slowly turned back towards me and I winced inwardly. Saying 'because I love you' or 'because you mean more to me than anything else' would probably have been a better option than a simple 'that's not the type of person I am'.
"Maybe you should," he said quietly.
All the breath in my lungs whooshed out in one loud blow. "What?" I gasped, trying to recover my lost air.
"I said maybe you should. Maybe it would be best if you had someone else for that. Maybe then you'd be happy."
"How can you say that?"
He just shrugged. "Don't take me for an idiot, Bella. I know you want it. It's not just me you want it from, either."
He pointedly shot a glare at Edward, who I'd managed to forget about momentarily. Edward was staring down at the table in a confused manner.
"So maybe you should just do it," Jake added.
"Edward, please go away," I implored, not taking my eyes off of Jake again.
Silently, he stood and left.
"Why would you suggest that I cheat on you?" I asked breathlessly.
"I already explained that."
Trying to understand, I inquired further. "So you think it would make me happy to be with you, but fuck someone else?"
He flinched at my crass way of putting it, then inhaled loudly, clenched his jaw, and gave one curt nod.
I laughed humorlessly. "Wow, you must think I'm a real fucking piece of work. You seriously fucking think that I would stay with you and fuck someone else? You think I could do that?" My voice grew louder the longer I spoke.
"And you would just sit by knowing I was fucking someone else? You would be just fine with that? Why? What the fuck is the point? I don't fucking cheat, Jacob Black, and you of all people should know that. I'm not that fickle, I couldn't do that. I won't do that. And I hate you for suggesting it.
"You know what I think? I think you need to just fucking let me go, Jake. If you don't love me enough to keep me for yourself, then you need to let me go. I think I've made it pretty obvious that I can't break this off, so you're going to have to do it. Once and for all, just say it Jake, say it's over and mean it."
I waited, but Jake just sat there in silence, looking afraid and heartbroken.
"I need sex, Jake. I can't do this forever, I can't take the rejection. We both know I don't stay with you because I love you that much. So be the man, Jake, fucking end it. End it or fuck me. Either way you're going to have to be the man, so fucking grow a pair."
The pain registered immediately, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
"I'm done being the one that is always getting hurt."
– – –
Even though I hadn't wanted to, I felt extremely guilty after being so cruel. I went to my room, unable to take the look of pure anguish on Jake's face.
Tired, oh God, I was so tired. I simply stripped all of my clothes off and crawled into bed. I curled into a ball, expecting to be unconscious almost immediately, but I couldn't fall asleep. Instead, my body began to shake with silent sobs. The tears came though I didn't want them. And I cried because it didn't matter if I didn't want to be the one hurting, I was. Partially because of the way I'd hurt Jake too.
Time didn't register clearly, but I know I lied there crying for quite a while before I finally heard the front door open and close, and the sound of a car start and drive away. It wasn't much longer before my bedroom door opened and there was warmth surrounding me.
Arms so gentle cradled my naked body as I continued to cry. Lips so soft pressed lingering kisses against my skin. Breath and words whispered reverent promises into my hair.
– – –
Though I'd tried desperately to remain quiet, it was only a few short minutes later that I felt his eyes following me as I moved around the kitchen. In my experience, chocolate chip pancakes were, and always would be, the universal peace offering. We definitely needed peace on the forefront, I couldn't live in this house with all the tension floating around.
He watched while I mixed up the batter, then silently approached. His warm arms encircled me from behind and he stepped in close, so close I could feel his entire body against my back.
"I meant what I said last night, Bella, every word." Jake's hands slid smoothly from my lower stomach up to my breasts, which he cupped and squeezed. "I'll do anything to make you happy, I want to marry you."
Just as last night, I didn't give him an answer. Last night, I'd just continued to cry, while today I just continued to stir. His hands on my tits failed to draw any emotion, just as his marriage proposal had.
He quickly turned me away from my batter and grasped my ass in his hands. He picked me up and placed me on the countertop. His mouth covered mine in a way that was convincingly eager and his hands came back to my barely covered tits, his thumbs circling and circling my nipples, drawing little response from me.
After last night, after everything, I wanted to fuck him as much as I wanted to marry him, which I knew without a doubt was not at all.
My nipples were slightly traitorous though and they hardened without my consent. I was a bit cold, wearing little more than underwear and a thin shirt.
Jake noticed and pinched my pebbled nipples lightly. "I want this, Bella. I want us to be together," he whispered against my mouth.
"I want to make breakfast for you," I whispered monotonously back, though it came out slightly garbled by his insistent lips.
"After breakfast?" he asked, moving his lips down my neck.
"I have to work," I answered.
His necking skills were lacking, in my opinion. I hissed as he pinched my nip too hard, just as he bit down on my neck. I reflexively kneed him in the stomach for the pain, making him groan and glare at me. I quickly slid off the counter and turned back to my pancake mix.
Jake left me alone after that, probably either angry or unsatisfied, though I couldn't bring myself to care either way.
"Mm, that smells..." Edward voice carried lightly to me at the stove, trailing off before finishing. Confused, I turned towards him. "...good," he squeaked, his voice high-pitched and quiet.
His eyes were bulging while he stared at my chest, which caused me to look down in wonder. In my haste to not wake Jake, I'd barely seen what clothes I grabbed from my dresser. My t-shirt was white and thin and tight, while my shorts were… not actual shorts, but boy cut underwear.
I could walk around naked in front of Jake and get about as much reaction as I would from a dog, but Edward was apparently all male. His eyes felt like fingers licking across my body as he scanned me up and down. He couldn't seem to decide if staring at my obvious nip-ons or my barely hid muff was a better option. Everything Jake couldn't do to me, Edward could from across the room.
I blushed, though I couldn't exactly feel embarrassed as he was obviously enjoying the sight of me. Edward stuffed both of his fists into his jean pockets, drawing my attention there. The infallible move did nothing to hide his erection, which was hugely obvious in his tight jeans. I inhaled sharply at the remembered sight of it in underwear alone, and nearly moaned when I saw it twitch.
Edward cleared his throat loudly, which made me whip back around toward my griddle. "Uh, good morning, Bella," he offered.
"Morning," I muttered. "Coffee's good and hot," ready for the taking, wet.
"Um, thanks, I do enjoy my coffee wet."
Son of a bitch! Edward smirked widely, because I once again was apparently thinking out loud. I was fairly certain he'd figured out just as I had that I only seemed to do that when massively turned on.
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