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Divine Inspiration
Chapter 2
I'll rise to fall again.
Breaking Benjamin ~ Give Me A Sign
The rest of the school day seemed to creep by. During my last class, I had to literally sit on the edge of my seat to keep the desk obscuring the situation in my jeans.
Emmett was in the same class, and he endlessly made jokes about my state of arousal. Giggling under his breath and teasing and driving me mad. Alice, meanwhile, was obviously quite pissed off at me and was tormenting me with continuous images she'd seen of my girl.
I tried to distract myself with the inner voice of Mr. Elliot, who was going over and over his list of objects he'd need for his meeting with his "Master."
Whips, check. Chains, check. Handcuffs, check. Masks, check. Gags, check. Candles, check. Nine inch dil-
I slammed my mind shut, nearly dry heaving at the mental picture he divulged with that one. There are just some things that you do not want to see ever in your life. Your five-foot-five, bald, overweight, forty-five-year-old teacher taking it up the ass with a red dildo is one of those things.
I can't unsee anything I've ever seen, it was moments like these I desperately wished I could.
If even that couldn't take my erection away, then I was hopeless.
I sighed and let Alice's mind torment me. At least there seemed to be a semblance of happiness in me in her visions. I could hardly imagine what that would be like.
It seemed like the last two weeks all I could think about was what it would be like to have someone. I'd never really been with anyone before, I'd never really loved before. I had my family, but it wasn't the same as mating.
I was fairly certain this girl was to be my mate.
How? I had no idea, because she was a frail human and I could kill her with a flick of my pinkie finger, but I think I was in love with her just by the images.
Vampire love differed greatly from human love. Humans could love so openly, so freely, offering their heart to many, sometimes at the same time. Humans could love, then move on when love was lost.
A vampire's love was unchanging. Once we loved, we loved forever. We each only had one mate and upon mating, we couldn't turn back. We loved our mates for the rest of our existence.
This human would live less than a century, while I continued to exist forever. She could die any day for any number of reasons, while my death was indefinite and improbable.
I hadn't even met her yet, and already I was worrying about her dying.
I hadn't even met her yet, but I was pretty sure that she was destined to be my mate and I loved her.
Which meant there was a chance I would turn her.
That normally would have been inconsequential to a vampire, but to me, it meant everything.
I'd sworn to Carlisle seventy years ago that I would never take a life again. Turning a human was taking a life, it wasn't an option for me.
I had no idea how I was going to love this human without hurting her. For as much excitement as I felt, there was also fear. Great, great fear. Someone would get hurt in the end, I was sure of it.
– – –
Loneliness wasn't an unfamiliar emotion for me, but it was growing stronger as each day passed.
When would I meet her? Where? What would she think of me? Would she know? What would it feel like to kiss her? How would her mouth taste? How deliciously hot would she feel against me? Would I repulse her? How cold would I feel to her? Would she run screaming?
I sighed, shaking my head to dispel my thoughts. I inhaled deeply and caught nothing but the scent of rodents and Evergreens. I growled and continued to run, jumping small bodies of water, fallen trees, and other obstacles with ease.
I crossed the scent of Emmett and changed direction, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.
"Stop being picky," I heard him call to me in his deep timbre.
"I'm not very hungry," I lied.
"He says with eyes of black, impending doom," Jasper added smugly.
I ignored them both and kept running, enjoying the air around me. It wasn't until I heard the distant sound of the city that I realized I'd ran all the way to Seattle. I made a loop around the city, keeping far from any inhabited areas and doubled back for home.
I sighed when I neared the house and Alice's thoughts hit me. You didn't eat.
It was true, I hadn't. I hadn't eaten in weeks. But I just couldn't feel my hunger. Carlisle sometimes went this long between feedings and no one was up his ass about it.
An image of my girl passed through Alice's mind and I scowled. You can't mourn a loss you haven't had, Edward.
I frowned at my sister. "I'm not mourning anything," I replied bitterly.
He says with eyes of black, impending doom, Jasper thought, wisely keeping it inside his head this time.
Dude, you totally look like someone ran over your cat, Emmett thought, then snickered.
"My eating habits don't have anything to do with anything."
– – –
It would turn out that my eating habits had something to do with everything today.
Something, or someone, smelled absolutely delectable. Slightly floral, with a hint of berry. Strong and succulent. Flowing. Ripe for the taking, rich, coppery, plentiful.
The sound of hearts beat through my ears and I had to fight from finding the one with the enticing scent. I hadn't ever been this thirsty. Just an hour ago, hunting had been the farthest thing from my mind. Now, I wanted to drain every last human on the grounds.
What was worse, her face was passing through every single mind today. My girl.
I grabbed Alice by the back of the coat, quickly stopping her forward movement, and turned her to face me, searching her eyes frantically.
Her brow creased as she stared back. What?
"Where is she?" I asked.
Her brow crinkled further before understanding crossed her face and she closed her eyes, her mind working furiously to search my future.
I would frighten Lauren Mallory with my black eyes.
I would glare at Michael Newton for no apparent reason.
I would lock eyes with the most beautiful brunette at lunch.
Oh.
"Alice!" I gasped.
She was here. I would see her. She was mine.
Alice's lilting laugh caught the attention of a nearby group of boys who stared lustily in her direction. I was distracted slightly as I combed their previous thoughts, which centered mostly around Bella, and various parts of her body. I growled. Rosalie, in all her glory, stomped past me and startled the boys with her menace, making them flee to the building.
"What's Edward's deal? Why is he giving off fear and anger in such high doses? And hunger." I told you, you should have ate, Jasper added in his mind. You're lucky I ate or I would be consuming the entire school's population right about now, thanks to you. Can you calm down your hunger? What is that smell? He continued to ramble in his mind but I tuned him out.
"She's here," Alice sang excitedly.
My stomach rolled with nerves, and hunger.
My girl was here. Finally. Two weeks had felt impossibly long. I'd never been so scared of something in my life.
I'd waited. Now I was scared. But I loved her. And Crowley had thought about her shapely behind.
"Edward, calm down," Jasper muttered, sending a wave of mind numbing calm at me.
"We have to go inside now, we look weird standing out in the rain," Alice pointed out.
I nodded, searching minds to find her. It didn't take long, Michael Newton's thoughts were fairly loud and very my-girl-centric. He covertly leaned in and sniffed her hair, thinking about how good she smelled.
I growled. Then my mouth filled with venom as I remembered the scent from before. Now that smelled good.
At least now I knew why I glared at him.
Bella. So pretty.
Bella?
Bella!
"Her name's Bella," I declared proudly, feeling warmth spread through me at the thought of her name. Bella. Beautiful. I searched the minds more thoroughly. "Isabella Swan. She's Chief Swan's daughter."
Everything slowly fell into place.
One Isabella Swan had been rumored to be joining Forks High at any time in the upcoming weeks. Charlie Swan, Chief of the Forks Police Department, had been ecstatic to have his little girl moving home. I hadn't seen Charlie's thoughts to know when she would be arriving or what she looked like. Oh, the trouble that would have saved.
Everyone knew Isabella Swan's name, yet until the moment they saw her, they didn't know what she looked like. What an inconvenience that had caused for me. If I'd have just known…
I pushed through mind after mind, searching for hers, but came up empty. I knew where she was standing, I could see her through Jessica's eyes, through Angela's eyes, through Michael's eyes, through everyone's eyes, but I couldn't see through hers.
What the hell?
I tried again, locating her and trying to pry into her mind to hear her. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
"Um, where is the restroom again?" asked a clear albeit hesitant sounding voice. It was hers, it was beautiful. But again, there was no trace of a mental voice to accompany the sound.
Mike gave her explicit directions to every lavatory in the entire building. I watched as a crease formed between her eyebrows while Mike rambled on and on about first lefts and third rights. I wanted to reach right through Mike's mind and smooth the crinkle away.
She must be confused.
I was confused. I'd never been so confused in my life. Why couldn't I hear her?
I tried fruitlessly through the morning hours to crack into her mind, but never once did I even get a hint of the cadence of her psyche.
I watched her through everyone else's mind, going from class to class, without paying much attention to anyone. She was polite, but she seemed withdrawn.
We didn't have a single class together until biology. Luckily though, Angela shared a fair number of classes with her. I could handle Angela's mind, it had a honest tenor to it, versus Jessica's, who was inconceivably malicious towards my girl.
I really need to stop calling her that, I noted to myself.
When Angela wasn't near Bella, I settled for anyone's mind but Mike's. I swear, if he brushed up against her 'accidentally on purpose' one more time, I would rip his arms off his body and shove them up his ass.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was practically vibrating with anxiety. What was she going to think when she locked eyes with me? For now it looked like I wouldn't even know.
Jasper gave me an exasperated look before sending a wave of calm at me. I felt my shoulders loosen minutely, my mind stop working so furiously, my body using his generated calm to alleviate my unease.
Don't stare at her, Edward, Alice warned.
I gave a curt nod.
Here she comes, she warned.
I took a deep breath and held it. The breath caused my stomach to ache and my throat to burn as a wave of warm smelling blood overpowered the smell of greasy human food.
Distracted by my hunger, I kept my eyes on my lunch tray before me. I didn't actually eat the human food, but I had to keep with appearances. People would definitely start to wonder if we never came to lunch. No one really seemed to notice that we didn't actually eat our lunch, apparently having a tray full in front of us was simply enough.
I grabbed the bagel on my tray and started to pick at it thoughtfully.
Would her mind eventually open up to me? Would I get to hear her thoughts once we were closer? Did I want to hear her thoughts? Did I perhaps like the idea of her silent mind? Was that my great attraction to this human, besides her obvious beauty?
Edward Cullen.
My eyes raised from my destroyed bagel to seek out who called my name, and my eyes locked with hers.
All the air left my body in one big whoosh and I felt my body react instinctively.
I wanted her. I wanted her now. She was my human and I wanted everyone to know it. I wanted to mark her. I wanted to make her mine. I wanted her as mine. Right now.
"No, Edward," Alice said quietly, grabbing my tensed thigh to keep me in my seat.
It was happening within a matter of moments. I'd barely held her stare for more than a second before I growled at Alice.
"She's mine," I hissed.
Alice's eyes widened at me, but she held firm onto my thigh. "Edward, you can't, not here and not now. You have to be patient with her."
I felt another growl build in my chest when another hand landed on my other thigh, followed by a wave of calm.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, calm down, Edward. You need to control the lust and you need to drop the hostility," Jasper warned.
I immediately inhaled sharply, surprised at my defensive posture. That smell, it hit me again. Christ, someone here was fucking edible. "Fuck," I spat, ignoring the burn. "Alice, I'm sorry."
She shook her head at me. "Neither of us anticipated the way you were going to react to her. I'm not attuned to her enough yet to even know she was going to be here today. I have no idea how she's going to react to you. And if you act like that, you could change your entire future with her, Edward. She is human, you cannot forget that."
"Alice, I can't hear her," I admitted, feeling shame at my shortcoming.
Her eyebrow did that wrinkling thing again, the second time today. This girl was confusing all of us. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I can't," I replied angrily. I hadn't ever been unable to hear someone before. It was unbelievably frustrating. "She's blank. Nothing. Her mind is silent to me."
"Huh," Alice concluded.
"What happens when we meet the first time?" I asked Alice.
Alice's lips pursed and she attempted to find the momentous first meeting, but didn't come back with anything inside of a classroom. Instead it was a new image, one of me crushing the frail little human to my own body. Us encased by vehicles, her eyes wide with fright, my own matching hers.
I sighed. What the hell am I getting myself into?
"A car crash?" I asked.
Alice shrugged, her eyes still closed while she concentrated. She released a large breath, a discontent look on her face. "I don't like this. I can't get a read on her well enough to figure out what happens."
"What about biology today?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I don't even see you going to biology, Edward."
"Why the hell wouldn't I go to biology?" I asked.
Alice shook her head and shrugged again. "Maybe I'm losing my touch."
I wrapped an arm around her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "No, Alice. Maybe she's just really hard to read. I can't read her either," I reminded her.
Keeping my arm around Alice's shoulder, I snuck a glance at Bella again. She was chewing on her bottom lip, eyes down on her tray, while Mike stared longingly at her profile. He was falling all over himself for her. It was… pathetic.
But wasn't I doing the same thing, in a much more discreet sort of way? No, definitely not. Mike was just pathetic, and he was irritating the life out of me.
– – –
Alice didn't let me stare at Bella for much longer and before I knew it, lunch was over.
I was hasty and excited to get to biology, therefore I was one of the first to show up. The moment I stepped through the doorway, I froze.
There were only two other students in the classroom. Michael Newton and Bella Swan. One of them was the delicious smelling one that had been taunting me all day. I knew for a fact that Michael Newton was not delicious smelling at all.
The obvious landed on my chest like a ton of bricks. She was the one who smelled so ungodly appetizing. She smelled like Heaven.
She'll taste even better.
I unconsciously took a step into the classroom, inhaling deeply. Her scent grew stronger as she fluffed her hair over the heat vent, trying to dry it of rain.
I could vaguely feel my muscles coiling for an impending hunt. My throat burned and my stomach ached with hunger. Blood pooled beneath her pale skin as her body flushed from the warmth.
I was stuck between lust and blood lust. I knew that flush, I loved that flush, but she smelled so delectable.
She'll taste even better, my mind promised again.
Another silent step in.
I could drain her before she even knew what was coming. Then I could kill Newton for being an insufferable little bastard who acted as if he was glued to my girl.
My girl.
Your girl will taste good.
No.
Yes.
I acquiesced, allowing my body to propel itself forward another step. I whimpered then growled as my body warred with itself. I wanted her, and yet I wanted her. It would seem that I could only have her one way now...
She would taste so good. Her blood would be warm and salty, yet oh-so sweet. So filling. It'd been so long. Hers would be the best ever.
No one was going to stop this.
Edward don't. Stop!
Alice…
Edward, what are you doing? Stop!
I inhaled deeply, appreciating the smell, burning it into my memory. I needed to savor her taste. I needed to be able to remember this for the rest of my life, because surely there would never be another who smelled this good.
She would be Heaven.
A group of girl entered the classroom behind me, laughing. They startled Bella, causing her to turn and face me.
I was closer than I realized. I was closer than she realized. I could see the fear cross her face, I could smell it on her skin, I wanted to taste it.
"Cullen, what the hell?" Mike questioned, looking slightly panicked.
I turned to glare at him. To warn him to back the hell off, she was mine. He stumbled back, leaving the girl prone and alone, mine for the taking. And I would, oh I would.
Lauren Mallory turned after Mike ran into her and then stumbled back from me, too.
I saw myself mirrored in their eyes. Dark, coiled, on the hunt. Ready to claim.
My girl's face flooded with warmth, turning red as blood pooled again into her cheeks.
I didn't inhale this time. She was so beautiful.
She'll taste even better than she looks.
Carlisle would be so ashamed of me.
But I wanted her anyway.
"Hey, are you okay?" she asked me delicately, taking a step closer.
My will crumbled.
She was so beautiful. So kind. She was the one I wanted for eternity.
And I was going to kill her.
A/N: My beta is on FF and Twilighted as Strae – you should take a minute or two to check out her fuckawesome stories. We've even collaborated on a one-shot together, which can be found on her profile.
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