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A/N: 8===D~~~ Loads of lovin' to my beta, Strae. 8===D~~~ I give her two big jizzin' peens for being so fuckawesome.
EPOV
I woke early, desperately awaiting the moment when I would be near her again. It was far too early for her to be here, but I was wide awake and there wasn't a chance of falling asleep again. It was really a good thing that I was up so early though. That way I could get chores done early and we'd be able to ride some horses before the hay came in.
By the time Bella was due to show up, I had everything done, with the exception of about five stalls left to clean.
"Good morning, Bella," I called cheerily.
"What are you doing?" she asked apprehensively. "You did all of the morning chores?"
I exited the stall I was cleaning and hesitantly made my way towards her. She nervously bit her lip as I reached for her, but she didn't push me away as I brought our bodies even closer together. When I leaned down, her eyes fell closed dazedly and her bottom lip popped out of her teeth. I took that as my confirmation and leaned in further, kissing her lips lightly.
I pulled back slowly and quietly repeated, "Good morning, Bella."
Her eyes opened unhurriedly and she smiled lazily up at me. "Good morning indeed," she said. "Now are you going to tell me why you are doing my job?"
I chuckled lightly and moved one hand from her shoulders to the back of her neck. Her eyes slid closed again as I fingered her hair and pressed our lips together another time.
Her body was slackly leaning into me as it had been last night, her arms limply hanging at her side. I studied her face before she had a chance to open her eyes again. Her skin was flushed, there was a small smile playing at her lips, and when she again opened her eyes, she held eye contact. I couldn't help but wonder just how into this she was.
I could gladly kiss her for hours on end, or simply just stare at her, or hold her. I had no idea what Bella's feelings were toward me at all or if she wanted me all over her. She was too damn kind and I was didn't know if she was afraid to push me away. The flaccidity to her body confused me, I felt rigid whenever we were this close—and not just there—it seemed to me like she was... submitting. I really didn't like the feeling that I was forcing her into something she didn't want. Again, the employee-slash-employer status was coming into play.
I definitely understood what all the severe faults and laws about work relationships were about now. She could very well have felt intimidated by me and thought I would fire her if she didn't reciprocate.
Without trying to startle her, I released her and backed away, quickly hanging my head so she couldn't see my disappointment and insecurities.
I tried to mask my worries with a smile and said, "Well, the hay will be here in a few hours, so I figured I might as well have chores done so we can get some horses rode today before we have to unload and stack hay."
She had an odd look on her face—a look that almost seemed questioning and sad—at first, but she composed herself and nodded after I finished.
Both of us were rather silent as we rode; the quiet was a bit abnormal, we usually made polite conversation at least. I made the younger, greener horses my priority to keep myself distracted from my doubts. Perhaps it was just the fact that we were both so concentrated on the immature, unpredictable animals beneath us that we didn't talk...
Not allowing myself to dwell on our situation, I was able to get four scrupulous workouts in before the hay truck arrived via tractor-trailer.
We both stood in the wide aisle doorway while the trailer was parked by the elevator. I sighed grimly and gave Bella an apologetic smile. This was going to be one hell of a long day.
"Yay," Bella said unenthusiastically.
I chuckled down at her as she smiled back up at me. Damn it, I wanted to kiss her. As a distraction, I rattled off, "So my plan is for the driver—cross your fingers that it is Ben Cheney—to toss the bales off the trailer, you put them on the elevator, and I'll stack in the loft."
"I know Ben, he's my age. Your plan sounds fine, I'll do whatever you need me to do. Just holler if you want help in the loft, I can come up to help you. I'm not sure why you always give yourself the hard job."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Because I'm not giving them to you, silly. Did you go to school with him?" I asked, inquisitively.
She nodded. The semi puffed as it shut off and we both started over. It was Ben. Thank God! Anyone else would tell me to go to hell if I asked them to help unload.
"Edward," he greeted me, extending his hand.
"Ben," I shook his hand. "Bella tells me you went to school together," I said, nodding towards her.
He smiled widely at her. "Bella? Bella Swan?"
"In the flesh," she said, extending her hand.
He shook it. I watched as his eyes gave her the up-down and I nearly punched him in the face. I had to remind myself that Ben was a nice enough guy, and that Bella was just far too tempting for anybody's good.
"It's great to see you again, I'll have to tell Angela I ran into you!" Ben said excitedly.
"Aw!" she exclaimed. "That's so sweet that you and Ang are still together."
He chuckled. "Yeah, she always said she'd make an honest man of me someday. You'll both be getting the wedding invite in a couple of weeks here." Bella and I both offered our congratulations. Ben turned back to Bella and asked, "How about you? You got anyone special these days?"
"Um," she started. I watched her eyes dart quickly to me, then she added, "He's special, all right."
I'm pretty sure if 'shit eating grin' had a place in the dictionary, my current smile belonged underneath its description. Maybe she did like me?
"Do I know the guy?" Ben inquired. Bella looked slightly panicked as her eyes darted to me again. Just as I was about to interject and say, 'yeah, I'm that lucky motherfucker,' minus the cursing, Ben started to talk again. "You were never the dating type, Bella, I'm glad you found someone. You deserve it and I know he must be a good guy, and lucky too, to have your affection. I remember a few random guys fawning for your attention but you wouldn't so much as have dinner with them."
Really? Well, that's certainly interesting. I could see she was getting uncomfortable, though, as she shifted her weight and laughed awkwardly.
"Well, I suppose we better get to work," I announced, even if I would have rather continued to learn about the beautiful woman beside me.
They both seemed to agree, so I didn't waste any time. I asked Ben if he minded tossing hay off the trailer while Bella sent them up the elevator. Ben was more than happy to lend a hand. We all quickly went to work.
It wasn't a hot day, merely warm in the upper sixties, but the loft was stuffy and dusty. From the loft, I couldn't even catch a glimpse of Bella while she worked. I could hear her and Ben talking loudly over the sound of the elevator's motor, but couldn't make out what they were saying. I got fed up shortly after one hundred bales were sent up; I called for Bella to cut the machine.
"Hey Bella, do you want to come up here a minute? Ben, you just wait there, take a breather," I yelled down. Both of them complied.
"What do you want me to do, boss?" Bella asked readily.
"Honestly, just stand there and talk to me for a few minutes. It's boring up here alone, and I'm getting jealous of Ben for getting to talk to you," I admitted sheepishly.
Bella gave me a disbelieving look and snorted. Instead of considering my honesty, she went straight to work moving bales. I followed her as she took a bale to my stack, pulling off my gloves and sticking them into my back pockets. Once she placed it, she turned around and gasped at my unexpected closeness.
I stepped closer, forcing her back up against the haystack. I wrapped one arm low around her back, holding her to me, and placed my other hand against her sweat dampened neck. Her body did that limp thing again as I kissed her—my kissing was perhaps a little urgent and not so light.
I really sucked at the whole finding-out-if-she-really-likes-me-before-I-attack-her-again thing.
I ended the kiss abruptly, pulling my lips away from hers, but not willing to pull away completely. I rested my forehead against hers and tried to build the courage to do something. Like, maybe ask her if this was okay, if she really liked me enough to kiss me, or just be a good man and keep my fucking hands to myself, or apologize.
I was about to apologize when Bella snickered quietly. I opened my eyes; hers were already open... She looked happy at least. "I have no idea why you wanted to kiss me. I'm all sweaty and gross," she said, making this adorable expression with her nose wrinkled up slightly.
Impetuous as ever, I kissed her again. "Beautiful Bella, 'gross' is not a word I would ever use to describe you." She kind of huffed quietly at me, but continued to smile. "Besides, I'm much sweatier."
Of course, I hadn't realized this until she brought it up. My shirt was clinging and sticking to me from the sweat. Shit, she probably thought it was me that was gross.
"You didn't want me to kiss you," I deduced, and said out loud.
When I started to back away Bella simply and firmly said one word. "Don't."
Her hands were in my hair, she stood on her toes, and her mouth was on mine. I understood exactly what the limpness in her body meant as I fell into her. I felt as though my body had turned into supple, boneless flesh. Everything was in her hands in the moment. She was the provoker, the insinuator, this was her choice and she wanted it.
I groaned against her mouth as I realized that. She responded in kind, pulling me closer. My lifeless body moved into action. I lightly gripped either side of her waist and pulled her body completely against me. God, did I love it when her mouth opened in a breathy little sigh against my lips. I pulled her bottom lip into my mouth, sucking lightly and pressing my teeth against it, just because I was always jealous that she got to do it so often.
The roles flipped back as she sank into me. I could feel every inch of her body against me and I had no doubt that she could feel every inch of mine. I hoped she wasn't paying attention to how tight my jeans had grown in a certain area. I attempted to not draw attention to that area by keeping my body still—except my mouth—though I desperately wanted to shift my hips.
"Hey, are you guys— Ohhh."
The rude and unexpected interruption of Ben's voice caused us both to turn our heads in his direction, thus breaking our kiss. Thank God I hadn't had my teeth pressed into her lip, that would have caused some pain.
"Well, that makes sense. Congrats you two," Ben said, grinning, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and rocking back onto his heels.
In my peripheral, I saw Bella's head turn back towards mine, I heard her swallow loudly. I continued to glare in Ben's direction, hoping to send across a message that said something between 'that's right, she's mine' and 'thanks for interrupting, you dickhead'.
Ben pursed his lips, seemingly to fight off a smile. "Right, I'll just…" He said nothing more and walked away after I raised my eyebrows at him.
"We should get back to work," Bella muttered.
I purposely let my nose skim across her skin as I turned my head back towards. I pressed my lips to her forehead once, then said, "I really don't want to."
Bella sighed, her head dropped back slightly, and once again her lips were angled perfectly towards mine. Who the hell was I to deny them?
"We have to," she whispered as I started to lean in.
I froze and her eyes opened once again. Tease.
I swallowed back that thought. "You can kiss me later," Bella promised.
"Just once?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow at her. She blushed and bit her lip. I nearly groaned. "I'm not surprised at all that you're going to be the responsible one of this relationship."
Her eyes grew wider the longer she stared at me. Her obvious surprise made it sink in a bit that she probably thought I was that guy. The one who thinks he holds the world at his fingertips and screws everyone he wants to without any type of commitment at all.
Oh, how much she had to learn about me. As it sank in that she thought I was going to use her, I also realized that she probably would have let me. I swore to myself right then to never take advantage of her, ever. She had to know how much she meant to me before we went much further with this.
– – –
Unloading and stacking hay took the better part of the afternoon. By the time it was finally done and Ben had left, I was dog-tired. The night's chores seemed to drag on forever. I knew Bella couldn't have been much better off than I felt. I waited at the end of the aisle for her to finish up whatever she insisted on quadruple checking—not that I was complaining.
I tried to brush some of the hay off of my arms, but the sweat made it stick. I'm sure I looked really fucking ridiculous.
"I bet your girlfriend thinks you look tasty," Bella said, interrupting my thoughts and my fruitless brushing.
I cocked an eyebrow at her questioningly. "Do you, now?"
Her eyes went wide while her face turned incredibly red. She quickly looked down at her shoes and muttered, "Um, I meant Holi."
"Oh," I said, trying not to sound disappointed. "Yeah, sorry. She probably does." I tried to laugh, but it came out as an awkward sounding chuckle.
Bella kept her head ducked and whispered so quietly I wasn't sure that I heard her right, "I think you look tasty, too. And I'd still kiss you, even if you do resemble the Jolly Green Giant."
I laughed, mostly because she was so damn funny, but partly because I had to do something other than tell her that I loved her. God, did I love her though. Those rare moments when she came out of her shell, even just a little bit, really solidified what I already knew was true.
Still chuckling, I shook my head and slid my hand into hers. "I won't subject you to a kiss from me at the moment. Are you still staying for dinner?"
She squeezed my hand. "Of course I'm staying for dinner. I wouldn't mind if you kissed me, by the way, since I already need to shower..."
I knew I probably smelled like sweat and dirt and horse, but she was just entirely too persuasive—or perhaps I was just entirely too easy to persuade?
I pulled her close and kissed her. She lightly gripped the back of my neck, pulling me closer as she toyed with the hair on the back of my neck. The kiss lingered on and I felt her move in even tighter to me. I hesitantly placed my hands on her hips, then slid them around her back. Her lips parted against mine and she sighed as she rocked forward into me. I nearly groaned as she simultaneously pressed her flat belly into my growing erection and flicked her tongue over my lips.
I pulled back slightly, not wanting her to feel me hard against her, yet again. I slid my hands back onto her hips and held her in place as I kissed her with closed mouthed kisses. I alternated between kissing her top lip and her bottom lip until she pouted her bottom lip out at me. I pulled it into my mouth, sucking lightly, running my tongue over it, and pressing my teeth in lightly, before backing away from her.
Bella smiled sweetly then turned away from me, walking towards her truck. I followed along, confused. She leaned into the cab and came back out with a small stack of clothes. I stared at the pair of dark blue lacy underwear sticking out of the side of the pile of her clothing. I believe they were supposed to be hidden, but instead one perfect half of the panties was visible to my prying eyes. I diverted my eyes as she started towards me.
Christ, I saw her underwear! What if they fell out of the pile? A gentleman would pick them up for her, right? Or would a gentleman keep his filthy hands off of her under things?
I didn't have a chance to find out what I would have done—though I know I would have definitely nosedived for those suckers, were they to fall—as we made it into the house without incidence.
"We can shower together," I offered, since it would save time that way.
Bella's eyes were wide with shock as she stared at me questioningly.
My words sank in and I felt my own eyes widen in disbelief. "No, I just meant at the same time." Realizing that didn't clear up anything at all, I tried to have a bit more tact with my next statement. "We can shower at the same time in separate showers. It'll be faster that way and the water pressure and water heater are capable." I sighed and shook my head. "I really didn't intend to suggest we literally shower together, Bella, honestly. I'm so sorry."
She smiled and shook her head, "It's okay."
"Shall we," I asked, then quickly added, "separately?"
She laughed and followed me. I gestured towards the guest bathroom then ineptly said, "Let me know if you need anything."
She giggled and said, "I do believe I'm going to lock the door, Mr. Cullen."
"What if you fall in the shower?"
"Ha ha!" she chided derisively, rolling her eyes. She closed the door and I heard the lock click into place, making everything final.
Showering was difficult. My hands kept wandering to a certain part of my body. Apparently my brain believed it was the dirtiest part of me. I begged to differ; my brain was easily the dirtiest part of me. I couldn't stop the mental images that come forth continuously, nor could I forget that I'd seen her panties! I decided that I might as well just get it over with and allowed myself to indulge in the carnal self-pleasure.
I ended up nearly passed out against the shower wall, panting like a beast. I was exhausted, satisfied, but exhausted and I could have just lain down and went to sleep under the cold water. Well, at least I wasn't stiff as a board anymore.
I dried off quickly and pulled on a t-shirt and shorts, not even bothering with jeans. Hell, I was tired enough to just roll into bed naked. Alas, Bella was here and that was inspiration enough to at least be somewhat presentable.
She was waiting for me, leaning against the kitchen counter. She covered her mouth when she looked at me, and I could see the laughter in her eyes, I could hear her snickering too.
"Quit laughing at me," I mumbled self-consciously.
She walked forward to meet me, she was definitely still laughing at me—I could see it in her eyes—though she looked apologetic too. "You look so tired. You should go to bed."
I shook my head firmly. "Not before I feed you."
"I am perfectly capable of feeding myself, thank you. Now, let's get you to bed."
I really liked the sound of that... "No, really I'm fine. The food is basically done anyway, and I would also like to eat before I go comatose."
I pulled out the roast from the crock-pot, carved it, then poured the remains of the crock-pot over it. My stomach snarled at the smell of it. I hardly made it to that table before spearing a carrot and popping it into my mouth. Eating was a silent event, I couldn't have gotten a word in, I was double-fisting my food.
I finished quickly and waited for Bella to finish. As soon as she was done, she stood and started taking dishes to the sink.
"Are you going to leave when the dishes are done?" I asked, moseying over to her with the rest of the dishes.
"I don't have to, I guess," she replied.
That was good enough for me. I was too tired to even over think anything. We cleaned up, and then I pulled her along with me towards the couch.
I plopped down with a groan. Goddamn, I was tired. Bella sat towards the other end of the couch, basically completely out of my reaching distance. What the hell?
"I don't bite," I promised.
She blushed and bit her lip, edging closer to me. "I know, but you just look so tired, and I really want to kiss you."
When she was close to my side, I turned my body towards hers and leaned in close to her. "So kiss me," I insisted.
She did, with little hesitation at all. It was as it always was with her, all too fucking enticing and tempting. Kissing her was perfect and amazing, but even that couldn't fight off my fatigue. I just barely broke away from her mouth to yawn.
She kissed the side of my mouth as I yawned and spoke against my skin. "That's really kind of insulting."
I groaned and wrapped my arm around her waist, snuggling my face against the bare skin on her neck as I rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, love, it's not you. I'm just really tired."
She took a moment to respond. I felt her lips press against my hair, then she nuzzled into the top of my head. "I know, it's okay."
Her fingers came around to the back of my head and she lightly massaged the back of my head as she breathed softly into my hair. I hummed my approval. "I'm going to fall asleep," I warned.
"Are you even comfortable?" she whispered.
"Mm," I answered lazily. Yes, I was definitely comfortable. I could feel half of her chest pressed lightly into mine and I could smell her. She was massaging my head. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I had never been more comfortable in my life.
I drifted into sleep quickly.
I woke when I felt the obvious weight shift on the couch. Disoriented, I started groping around me. She was here, I know she was. It wasn't a dream this time. "Bella?" I slurred desperately.
"Shh," she urged, gripping my hand. "Come on, Edward."
I hefted myself off the couch with her help and she led me towards my room. I just barely managed to keep one eye open. At the sight of my bed, I pulled my shirt off and her hand disappeared from mine. I quickly clawed the comforter back and crawled into my huge, inviting mattress. I held the blanket up, waiting for Bella to follow me into my bed, desperately hoping she would.
Her warm hand connected with my chest and I slid mine over it, trying to silently ask her to not leave me alone. Her soft lips pressed into mine and I sighed against her mouth as she kissed me.
Her hand slid out from beneath mine and just like that, she wasn't kissing me anymore. I tried to ask her to stay, but I don't know what words, if any, left my lips.
BPOV
I slept soundly the whole night through, but when I woke in the morning, I was a complete mess. My sheets were twisted around my body, my hair was knotted, my clothes were mostly off my body. I couldn't remember a single dream I'd had that didn't involve Edward in some way. Edward Cullen was definitely the reason for my current situation, and he hadn't even been in the same building as me.
It took me longer than usual to get ready for the barn. I must have rolled a million times in my sleep to get my hair that snarled. I arrived to work just minutes before I was due. I parked in my usual spot and was again surprise when Edward called out a greeting.
I knew it was rude, but I didn't respond. Where the heck are the horses? What is he doing?!
I questioned him. Instead of responding, he simply left the stall he was in, and leaned a stall fork against the wall. Apparently he was cleaning stalls. Why was he cleaning all of my stalls?
I tried to glare at him, but it was ineffective because he was walking towards me, gracing me with his usual lopsided grin—the one that always succeeded in making my panties wet. Damn him. He didn't stop outside of my personal bubble, he continued right on up until he was standing just inches away from me. That could only mean one thing, he was going to kiss me.
I tried to prepare myself as he reached for me, but my heart still lurched and began to beat rapidly against my ribs. He pulled me closer and I sighed as our bodies made light contact against each other. His touch was relaxing, but he himself was pure chaos. Just his kiss alone could send my mind into an upheaval of emotion, while my body melted into him seeking the comforting contact.
Love, lust. Want, need. Right, wrong. Calm, chaos.
His kiss was light, quick and chaste, but still I found myself reeling. Edward repeated his earlier ignored greeting to me lightly. I returned the sentiment, feeling swoony. Residual anger and confusion remained though, and I really wanted to know why the hell he was doing my job.
He chuckled and I unconsciously leaned myself further into his quaking body. His laugh rose with vibrations from his chest to wash over my face with his warm breath. I sighed as his fingers moved from my shoulder to the back of my neck where he rubbed lightly up into my hair. I sighed again and closed my eyes, just enjoying his touch.
His warm, soft lips met mine in another kiss and I restrained a moan as he continued to play with my hair and the skin of my neck. I desperately wanted to grind my body into his, to feel him fully against me. I could settle for this, though. This was amazing.
After he had again ended our short kiss, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me, seemingly studying me. His brow wrinkled gloomily and his lips pursed lightly in what looked like a pout.
He was possibly even more attractive when he pouted—or impossibly.
But just as soon as the pout was in place, he was separating himself from me, hanging his head reticently. I ached to follow him, to ask him what was bothering him, and to kiss him better, but I didn't, afraid that it was me that had done something wrong and upset him. But what?
Edward attempted to smile at me, but it came across as more of a grimace. He explained why he was doing my job, staring poignantly at the ground.
I was confused beyond belief by his behavior, I'd thought he seemed happy, but his mood had changed so suddenly. He'd went from kissing me to being coldly distant in just a moment's time. I must have disappointed him in some way...
I tried to hide my emotions as Edward finally looked up at me. I nodded my acknowledgment to his explanation.
"I think the green colts should take priority this morning, what do you think?" he asked. His smile was again despairingly false.
Despondent, I hugged my torso self-consciously. I didn't even try to smile because I knew I would fail just as terribly as he had. I didn't trust my voice to answer audibly, so again I just nodded. I quickly tried to escape to the tack room, but Edward followed me. I pulled out my preferred saddle, setting it on one of the collapsible saddle racks outside of the tack room door.
I didn't realize Edward had followed me out until I nearly ran right into him. We skirted around each other awkwardly, both of us muttering apologies. Alone in the tack room, I gave myself a quick mental lecture. I couldn't let myself worry about our situation now; I had a job to do.
Riding the young horses definitely kept my mind busy. One couldn't let their thoughts wander when riding a feisty, inexperienced cow-horse.
I had just finished putting my saddle away when I heard the loud rumble of a semi-truck pulling down the drive. Edward was waiting at the end of the aisle with his hands stuffed in his pockets. When he heard me approaching, he looked up and smiled apologetically.
I looked out the barn door and spotted the approaching vehicle. My eyes widened and my stomach sank. That was a lot of freaking hay!
I attempted to lighten our current strained mood with a smile and a very halfhearted, "Yay."
Edward laughed and smiled honestly before growing serious again. He explained his plan for unloading and I was momentarily distracted when he said it would be an old classmate of mine delivering the load.
Edward seemed excited to see Ben Cheney and they shook hands. Edward then drew the attention to me and Ben honestly looked surprised to see me. I hadn't seen either him or Angela since graduation and I was glad to hear they were still a couple, and engaged to be married.
"How about you? You got anyone special these days?" Ben asked, pointedly staring at me.
"Um." I panicked, I had no idea what to say. What did Edward want me to say? I quickly looked at him, but he was just staring at me expectantly. Why didn't he just answer? Maybe he was expecting me to say no, maybe that was what he wanted. "He's special, all right," I said, hoping it deflected enough.
It didn't. "Do I know the guy?" Ben inquired. I chanced another glance at Edward to see him smiling, when he looked back at me, the smile fell away. He turned back towards Ben, his mouth opening in what I hoped was an answer so I didn't have to try to deflect again, but Ben beat him to it. "You were never the dating type, Bella, I'm glad you found someone. You deserve it and I know he must be a good guy, and lucky too, to have your affection. I remember a few random guys fawning for your attention but you wouldn't so much as have dinner with them."
Again, I furtively looked at Edward. He was staring at Ben intently, his head clocked slightly to the side. He looked hilariously confused. I laughed awkwardly, shifting my weight around nervously. I really did not want Ben to divulge anything more embarrassing to Edward.
"Well, I suppose we better get to work," Edward said. I couldn't have agreed more.
I watched sadly as Edward walked away to station himself in the loft. I would have paid to see him getting sweaty hefting those bales around. Alas, I was to run the elevator, his glorious body out of my sight.
Bale after bale was sent up, the loud elevator making most conversation impossible, but Ben tried to chat with me anyway. Thankfully, he didn't really inquire about my personal relationships again, though he did ask about my father and how life was treating me. Mostly, he just yelled over the noisy motor about how happy he and Angela were. I was glad to listen.
Edward hollered for me to cut the elevator, which I did hastily. "Hey, Bella, do you want to come up here a minute? Ben you just wait there, take a breather," he said anxiously.
Worried, I made a run for the loft, taking some of the stairs two at a time. Everything appeared to be fine though, especially Edward. Edward looked really fine.
"What do you want me to do, boss?" I asked hurriedly, trying to keep my mind from straying.
"Honestly, just stand there and talk to me for a few minutes. It's boring up here alone, and I'm getting jealous of Ben for getting to talk to you."
I snorted at his weird sense of humor. He had to be joking. Being jealous of Ben was laughable, not to mention he already knew I was incapable of just standing around. I quickly set to work moving bales. I could hear Edward following me, but I assumed he was just bringing another bale to be stacked. I didn't expect him to be right behind me, without a bale of hay, when I turned around. I gasped and stumbled back a little at the sudden intimacy of his proximity.
Edward stepped closer, so close that he forced my body back into the haystack behind me. His right arm wove low around my back, holding our bodies closely together and his left hand skimmed over the curve of my shoulder, then lightly gripped the back of my neck. His lips were insistent upon mine, pressing reverent, but firm, kisses against my mouth.
God, when he kissed me that way...
And then he stopped. I opened my eyes to see what the problem was. Edward looked tense, his eyes squeezed closed tightly. He inhaled deeply and leaned his head forward until his forehead rested on mine. His lips jutted out again into that goddamn pout of his and I couldn't hold in a laugh.
His eyes opened and he stared at my questioningly. I said the first thing that came to mind. "I have no idea why you wanted to kiss me. I'm all sweaty and gross."
He leaned back into me, kissing me lightly before half-grinning again. "Beautiful Bella, 'gross' is not a word I would ever use to describe you. Besides, I'm much sweatier."
All traces of humor disappeared as he looked down at his body pressed into mine. His eyes were wide with some emotion I couldn't place. "You didn't want me to kiss you," he said dejectedly.
He was pulling away again. The stress that had been between us after our morning incident had finally seemed to melt away, but now, it was back again. This time it was much clearer as to why he was trying to pull away.
It was me. He thought I didn't want him to kiss me. He couldn't have been more wrong, and I had no idea how he could misread me so immensely. Why in the world wouldn't I want to kiss him? He was perfect, everything I'd ever wanted, and he was kissing me. How in the hell could he doubt how I felt about him?
But he did, and he was pulling away. I couldn't let him, not this time. "Don't," I said.
His eyes were still wide as he raised them to meet mine again. He looked like he perhaps thought I meant something other than I did. I couldn't disappoint him again.
I reached up, lightly gripping his hair to angle his head towards mine. I pushed up on my toes and pressed a resolute kiss to his lips. He leaned into me, pressing me back into the hay with a sigh. I fell back onto flat feet and tugged on his hair to keep his lips on mine. He groaned loudly against my mouth.
Oh God, that sound...
I unconsciously pressed myself harder against him. Edward's hands flew to my sides where he gripped at my shirt, seemingly desperate to get me closer to him. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it and rubbing his tongue over it before he pressed his teeth against it. My body bowed further into his, pressing our hips together. What I felt pressed back into me there made my entire body heat with want—it definitely felt like he wanted me too. I shifted my hips, pressing more firmly into him.
Both of us startled at Ben's voice. "Hey, are you guys— Ohhh."
Not good. Ben had just caught us making out. I had been practically grinding on Edward.
"Well, that makes sense. Congrats you two," Ben continued.
When I looked at Edward, he appeared really angry. His hands were still clutched onto my shirt and his grip seemed to tighten at Ben's words. I couldn't stop looking at Edward, he looked really pissed off. He was glaring at Ben like he wanted to kill him. He was probably afraid that Ben was going to tell everyone about me, but Ben really wasn't that type of guy... Still, he must have been really embarrassed to be caught with me if he was this angry.
After Ben walked away, I hesitatingly said, "We should get back to work." My lips quivered with fear, though I tried to sound bold.
Edward turned his head back towards me slowly. He was still so close that his nose actually touched my skin as he moved. He pressed his lips lightly against my forehead and said, "I really don't want to."
He wasn't angry at me? He didn't sound angry at me. He sure was hell didn't feel tense anymore either. His hands gently caressed my sides and I let out a relieved breath. He wasn't mad at me.
"We have to," I said. Ben knew now and he probably thought we were getting all hot and heavy in the hayloft still. I opened my eyes to see his head leaned halfway towards mine and his eyes narrowed slightly. "You can kiss me later," I said meekly.
His mouth curved up and he quirked an eyebrow. "Just once?" I bit back a smile and Edward let out a loud breath. "I'm not surprised at all that you're going to be the responsible one of this relationship," he said.
I was surprised to hear him refer to what we had as a relationship already. Hearing him say that put things into perspective for me. A relationship was not a fling or something unemotional; Edward honestly had to have feelings for me.
I don't know what I expected, but with that one word, I was sure that my feelings for him weren't completely un-reciprocated. He had to feel something for me, even if it was just a fraction of what I felt for him, at least I knew now that he felt something real.
I stumbled somewhat drunkenly down the loft stairs back to my spot near the elevator. Ben was waiting there with a large pile of unstacked hay, looking quite smug. I groaned quietly to myself and knew I was blushing.
He started up the elevator and we both went to work putting bales on the track.
"I'm not really surprised," Ben said over the noise, "you two make a really good couple. I'm really happy for you, Bella, and I know Ang will be, too."
"Thanks," I muttered back.
"He loves you a lot, I can tell. I thought he was going to start throwing bales at me for interrupting," he said laughingly.
"What? No," I said shaking my head. "Ben, we just barely started... dating. He doesn't l-love me," I said quickly to correct him.
Ben just stood there for about twenty seconds, holding a bale of hay, staring at me. "Hmm, my mistake," he said, though he looked like he was still trying to figure something out. I ignored him as I continued to place bales on the elevator track.
Edward couldn't love me...
– – –
The day was painfully long, not even allowing for a moment to converse, let alone another tryst in the hayloft. Edward was waiting for me at the end of the aisle when I finished up with the last of the chores. He was dusting off his skin and clothes, though I knew it would be futile as the hay always stuck to your skin after your sweat dried. Only showering removed it.
"I bet your girlfriend thinks you look tasty," I said jokingly.
He looked up at me with a lifted brow. "Do you now?"
Embarrassed, I quickly stammered, ""Um, I meant Holi."
Edward seemed as embarrassed as I felt as he offered an apology and attempted to laugh at the mistake. As we walked slowly towards my truck, our conversation turned to kisses, which in turn, lead to more kissing. Perhaps the best kissing we've had yet.
Having his hard, warm body against me as his soft, hot mouth moved with mine was by far the most intense feeling I'd ever felt. Even through my clothing, I could feel the burn of his hands on my skin and I ached to feel him closer. And closer, and closer, and closer.
But it was too soon for both of us and instead we pulled away from each other. Edward followed as I walked to my truck to get the clean change of clothes I'd brought.
In the house, we both kicked our shoes off by the door and made our way into his kitchen. Edward suggested we shower together, shocking me to say the least, and seemingly humiliating himself. It was an understandable mistake, and he explained himself and apologized immediately.
I showered quickly, using the expensive looking shampoo and conditioner he had considerately put out for me. Or I assume he put them out for me. Maybe they were out for other guests...
I shook away that train of thought, but avoided the loofah hanging in the shower for fear of someone else having used it. I used my hands to scrub the amazing-smelling body wash into my skin, scrubbing away at the bits of dirt and hay that dried on with the sweat. The water felt wonderful, but I didn't allow myself to enjoy it for any longer than necessary. I dried off quickly, putting my clean hair back up in a ponytail.
I waited in the kitchen for Edward to finish; he surprisingly took a lot longer than I had. I couldn't hold in the laugh that bubbled in my throat at the sight of him. His half-dried hair was standing in every direction, still dripping water. He looked adorably tired, his mouth pouting, his eyes heavy. His legs were bare and I couldn't help but stare. I'd never seen his legs before, since he always wore jeans. They were strong and muscled and manly, as were his feet—which were not adorned with man-slippers tonight.
"Quit laughing at me," he whined. It completed the pout and tired look. He was freaking adorable!
I moved forward to meet him. "You look so tired. You should go to bed," I suggested. We could do this any time.
"Not before I feed you," he said seriously, shaking his head.
I explained to him that I was perfectly capable of feeding myself and insisted he go to bed, but he ignored me, adamant that he was hungry.
I set the table while Edward finished preparing our dinner. Neither of really said much while we ate. Both of us were hungry from the long day of work. As usual, when we were finished, I gathered the dishes to clean up.
"Are you going to leave when the dishes are done?" Edward asked, bringing me the last of the dirty dishes.
"I don't have to, I guess," I said as he took his place beside me to dry after I washed.
Once the dishes were done, Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to his living room. The kissing didn't take long to resume once we were both seated on the couch, but his exhaustion quickly beat out my kissing skills. At one point, he'd even accidentally called me 'love' which was proof enough that he was pooped. In just minutes, Edward was fast asleep with his face buried into my neck.
As he breathed, the warm air went straight down my shirt and tickled my skin. I couldn't help but shiver as he clutched me tighter and kissed my neck in his sleep. He snored quietly and shifted his weight away from me after a while. I hesitantly tried to move his arm, which caused his snoring to falter. I froze, then sighed when didn't wake up. Carefully, I attempted to wiggle myself out from underneath him and immediately after I stood, he was reaching out for me, slurring my name over and over as he clutched at thin air.
I felt terrible for waking him, but I had to get home. "Shh," I hushed and grabbed his hand. "Come on, Edward."
I wasn't completely sure where his bedroom was, but I was pretty sure I found the right one when I came to a room with the door open and a huge bed that was messily made. I led him into the room and he confirmed it was indeed his as he started to pull his shirt off. I quickly stepped away from him, surprised by his hasty disrobing.
With his back to me, he flung his shirt across the room and moved towards his bed. I greedily took in every last feature of his flawless body.
His broad shoulders were freckled and he had a scar over his left shoulder blade. His strong back was long, with a dip in the middle where is spine lay, sinewy muscles bunched on either side making it all the more apparent. His back hollowed and arched slightly as he crawled into his bed, and then he was facing me, holding the blanket up.
I hungrily stepped forward, taking in his front side. His arms were long and lean, bulging even though they bore no weight at all. His pectorals were defined and smooth with just a light peppering of hair between them. Dark, round nipples, tight, ridged abdominal muscles, firm, sharp... 'V'—Does it have a proper name? Crotch muscles? Cum gutters? A thin line of dark hair made a path from his bellybutton down into his shorts. His shorts obstructed my view, hindering my plan to just see him naked already. All of his muscles tensed up as he yawned loudly.
I snapped out of my lust-induced haze. My lip hurt from how hard I was biting it. He was still holding the blanket up and I realized he was expecting me to climb in with him. To sleep with him. Oh God, I would never keep my hands to myself. I would shove them down his shorts the first chance I got. But he looked so sweet, staring at me all hopeful and tired.
Licking my lips, I knelt onto the bed to kiss him goodnight. I couldn't resist placing my hands onto his naked chest. It was hard and hot and everything I knew it would be, the thin hair soft on my palms. He groaned against my mouth and pressed up off of the bed to kiss me harder, but then fell back down with a sigh, breaking the kiss.
"Bella, stay with me," he mumbled sleepily, his eyes drooping.
"Okay," I whispered back.
"Okay," he repeated, smiling lightly. He started snoring again in just seconds.
I stayed there, kneeling on his bed for a few minutes, just watching him sleep. He rolled in his sleep, bringing himself closer to me and his hand landed on my thigh, really close to my crotch. I felt really bad for liking it and crawled out of his bed.
I'd told him I'd stay though, and I didn't exactly want to leave. I sat on the couch considering my options, and thinking about how my day had gone. I was way too tired to drive home, so I stood up and started flicking off the lights. I grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and curled up with one of the pillows.
As soon as I closed my eyes, I again saw his nearly naked body—though not nearly enough... He was just down the hall, I swear I could hear him moving in bed. I so wanted to be in that bed with him. I wanted to trace the thin trail of hair into his shorts. I wanted to rake my fingers over his taut back. I wanted to be beneath the weight of his body, to feel the strength of his hips pressing into mine.
I whimpered and rolled over on the narrow couch, clutching my thighs together.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
I couldn't sleep.
Sometime early in the morning I got fed up with my jeans and kicked them to the floor. I wrapped the blanket tightly around my lower body, desperately trying to keep it there. I continued to toss and turn restlessly from side to side on the stiff couch. The clock showed 4:43 AM when I bound myself in the blanket and rolled one final time.
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