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BPOV
It seemed like I had just fallen asleep when a loud bang pulled me into consciousness. It was light outside the windows and the clock said it was after eight, but I really couldn't—or didn't want to—believe it. It felt like I'd just closed my eyes minutes ago. There was another loud bang and I groaned, wanting to go back to sleep. I rolled over and then squeaked as I realized I no longer was covered with a blanket, I was laying on my boss's couch, in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear.
I nearly fell off the couch when I began groping the floor for either my jeans or the blanket I knew I'd had at one point. I found the blanket first and I quickly covered myself with it, then scanned the living room to make sure I was alone. It appeared I was, so I located my jeans on the floor and hurriedly hiked them on. There was more banging in the distance which sounded like consecutive doors closing, and I held my breath, waiting for Edward to appear, but he didn't. I sighed and chewed on my lip, then jumped up off the couch and ran for the bathroom.
Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned back against it and caught my breath. I giggled to myself as I thought about him almost catching me half-naked on his couch, but I caught sight of myself in the mirror and quickly shut up. I looked like hell, giggling right now was foolish. I wouldn't be laughing if he had seen me like this.
I heard a final door close loudly before feet were thudding down the wood floor hallway. I heard him hesitate as he passed the bathroom door and I held my breath, like I was hiding for him or something. I rolled my eyes at myself and hurried to finish up.
Edward heard me when I exited the bathroom, though I had tried to be quiet so not draw attention to myself. I was unsure whether I was supposed to still be here, embarrassed that I'd slept in my underwear on his couch. He confidently crossed the expanse of the kitchen and embraced me. Any trace of timidity I'd felt disappeared as he hugged me tightly to his chest. He was warm and comforting, his hold on me assured me that I had no reason to doubt if I was welcome. He was glad to see me; he wanted me here.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him closer. He bent forward, placing his face along side mine and his long arms wrapped around my hips, holding me to him tightly. I rubbed my face against the slight scruff on his cheek and then kissed his jaw.
"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered into my ear.
My lips froze against his skin as his words sank in. He sounded so honest, like he really thought I was beautiful. Maybe Ben was right, just a little.
I kissed his cheek once more then pressed up on my toes to nuzzle his ear and whisper into it. "Good morning, handsome."
He groaned softly into my ear, causing me to shiver, then quickly claimed my lips. His mouth moved in an urgent way against mine, lips pushing, teeth nipping, but still, he kissed me with a closed mouth. Slightly frustrated, I gripped his hair and pressed my tongue to his lips, begging entrance, but he denied me, breaking our kiss instead.
As if he knew he had to soothe the burn of the rejection, he kissed across my cheeks and up my nose to my forehead. I rested my chin against his chest while he tucked his chin down to keep the eye contact. Both of us refused to be the first to let go of the other.
Warm emerald eyes glinted down at me as he smiled sweetly. "How did you sleep?" he asked.
I bit my lip and his face instantly grew disappointed. I knew I couldn't lie to him so I didn't even try to. "Honestly, I didn't sleep well," I admitted.
His lips curled down further as he dragged one hand from my back up to my face. He lightly caressed the skin beneath my eye, then my cheek, and finally my lips with the pad of thumb.
"I should have been more quiet, Bella. I'm sorry I woke you."
"Did you know I stayed?" I asked in response.
He shook his head quickly. "No, but I mean, I asked you to, so I should have been more considerate. You didn't have to stay..."
"I know, but really, I didn't want to drive home."
He leaned in and pressed one quick kiss to my lips. "Thank you for staying, but you shouldn't have slept on that couch. You could have used any of the beds, and you were more then welcome in mine."
I couldn't look him in the eye anymore so I quickly hid my heated face against his clothed chest. If he knew what I'd been thinking last night, why I couldn't sleep in that bed with him, or sleep at all, in fact... I sighed and shook my head against his chest, trying to stop thinking about what was once again in reaching distance.
"You are still welcome to use any one of them. Or you can go home if you'd like," he said.
I once again shook my head against his chest. His hand lightly cupped my neck and stopped my movement. With gentle pressure, he urged me to tilt my head back to look at him.
"Please Bella," he said huskily. My breath grew short at the determinedly pleading look on his face. He looked so sexy, staring at me like that. I pushed up onto my toes to kiss him and he pressed back into me, kissing me with a great deal of passion.
"Is this you acquiescing?" he mumbled against my lips.
"Un-umm," I hummed back, shaking my head 'no'. I lightly gripped his shoulders, trying to bring him closer to me. I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and earned a growl from him as I pulled at it lightly with my teeth.
Edward straightened up, putting his lips out of kissing distance. "You're going to bed," he demanded.
"No, I'm going to the barn."
He shook his head resolutely. "Don't make me force you, Bella."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You wouldn't dare."
Apparently he would. The next thing I knew I was tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I shrieked in surprise and gripped his t-shirt tightly in fists. "Edward," I practically screamed. "Put me down!"
He simply continued to walk. His hold on me was tight and I trusted him not to drop me, so on a whim I released his shirt and drew my hand back. Letting it fly, I smacked him directly on his firm, perfect ass. He stopped and then I was tossed lightly onto his bed. I bounced lightly and his delicious weight was over the top of me just moments later.
"Miss Swan, did you just spank me?" he asked roughly, his mouth curved up into an enthralling smirk.
"No," I lied breathlessly.
"Hmm, I'm pretty sure you did."
I shook my head and bit my lip, trying to look innocent. Edward gave a pained sounding groan then dropped his face into my neck.
"You don't know what you do to me," I thought I heard him whisper. His lips caressed lightly at the skin on the hollow of my throat as he talked, making my already short breath become impossibly shorter.
He was wrong. He didn't know what he did to me.
He stood up hurriedly and carefully yanked the blanket out from under me. He then brought it over my body and held me in place with it, his hands on either side of my shoulders. He leaned in and kissed me lightly.
"Please try to sleep," he whispered against my lips.
I impulsively licked my lips, which in turn meant I licked his lips too. "I'm not tired," I whispered back, lying.
"Please Bella," he breathed, his lips caressing mine with the words.
He kissed me again, he mouth moving persuasively over mine, his tongue teasing my lips and retreating whenever I tried to capture it. I sighed and he seemed to know as well as I did that he won. With one final kiss, he turned to leave.
I watched him walk away then rolled over towards the spot he'd slept last night. I grabbed his pillow and pulled it under my head, burying my face in it and pretending it was his chest as I closed my eyes and inhaled. I bit back a moan. It smelled just like him.
Breathing in his scent, I tried to comply to his wishes and fall asleep, but I couldn't. My mind simply would not shut off. I was in his bed, seemingly exactly where he wanted me. Could Ben be right? Did Edward feel as intensely for me as I did for him? Would Edward be upset when he found out how inexperienced I was sexually? I really wanted to please him, but I'd never been with anyone that way before.
I heard the door creak and I looked over my shoulder to see Edward standing there. He sighed. "Are you even trying?"
I nodded. "I can't sleep, Edward."
He walked over and sat beside me. His hand instantly went to my face, which he caressed lovingly, before he lightly raked his fingers through my hair. "You can go home if you can't sleep here, Bella."
"It's not that," I began to explain. "It's just, how am I suppose to sleep when I know you are out there doing my job, again?"
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Bella, it's not your responsibility to always have to worry about chores. As an employee, you are allowed days off when you need them."
I stopped him there. "Are you allowed days off when you need them?"
"That's... not the point." I glared at him. "It's not the point," he repeated firmly. "I knew coming into this that I was going to have to work my butt off. It's not your responsibility to worry about everything, that's my job."
"And my job is to make your job easier," I said, cutting him off again.
He glared back at me. "You are so goddamn stubborn."
"Are you complaining?" I asked.
He sighed and leaned forward. "No, I love that you are the strong, beautiful, infuriatingly stubborn..." He didn't finish his sentence as he leaned in to kiss me.
"Overbearing," I mumbled against his mouth.
"Hmm?" he hummed against my lips.
"Mm-mmm," I hummed back, ending the kiss as I pushed him away. "Sorry boss, I don't have time for kissing, I have work to do."
He grumbled under his breath as I crawled over the top of him out of bed. "I'll make you something for breakfast," he said as he followed me into the kitchen.
"No, I'll do it myself."
"Fine," he said. I was pulled to a stop when he gripped my hips and pulled me back against him. His lips pressed lightly to my cheek and he hugged my waist. I angled my head to kiss him but he just smirked. "No time for kissing, remember."
I was about to retort when he quickly mumbled, "Maybe just one," and kissed me before I was even remotely ready. Just like that he was walking away from me and I was desperate to follow and tackle him, both out of anger and desire.
– – –
I was admittedly exhausted by the time evening chores were finished and we were heading back toward the house. Yawns plagued me relentlessly as Edward guided me through the house to the couch.
"Are leftovers okay?" he asked.
I nodded and willed myself to get up. It was a futile battle since my brain was disconnected from my body. Edward brought us each a plate to eat from on the couch. I hoped the food would give me the energy necessary, but it only succeeded in making me more tired. Edward took care of our dishes, then returned to my side.
I snuggled into his warmth and mumbled, "I'm exhausted."
"I know. I'm not letting you drive home."
I wasn't about to fight him on that. Driving in my condition would not be safe. Instead I just let my eyes fall closed.
– – –
I woke in darkness, surrounded by things unfamiliar to me. The bed was foreign, the room unknown, but the man who shared the bed with me I knew. I would know him anywhere.
I smiled to myself. Edward was unbelievable, even in his sleep. He snored, but it was quiet and kind of lulling rather than annoying. There was even some drool on the side of his mouth, yet he managed to be completely attractive regardless. Quiet snoring and drool made him human, they certainly didn't detract from his perfection. They gave him character, they only added to his appeal, and made him seem more real and not like the dream he appeared to be at first sight. He was a beautiful man, and he was sharing his bed with me.
I silently escaped to his attached bathroom. I was glad to see he was still asleep when I returned and slid back in next to him. The bed shifted slightly, and he stirred and blinked repeatedly before his eyes darted up to my face.
"Hi," I said shyly, biting my lip.
Edward sighed and grinned crookedly at me. Tentatively, he reached for me and cupped my face in his hand, rubbing his thumb lightly over my blushing cheek. I closed my eyes and nuzzled his palm, planting a kiss on the center of it.
"You're not angry with me?" he asked, worry and sleep making his voice rough.
I opened my eyes and gave him a questioning look. "Should I be?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "You can be, if you want to."
I slowly started to move toward him. He aided me by wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling. His bare chest was warm and inviting, and I nuzzled myself into it. Goddamn, he was comfortable, he felt so good against me.
I shook my head against his chest. "I'm not angry with you." And I was fairly certain he was wrong, I don't think I ever could be angry with him, even if I did want to be.
"I'm glad," he said sincerely and pressed his nose and lips against the top of my head.
I cautiously kissed his chest. I knew he felt it when he inhaled a little loudly and tensed up. Timidly, I licked my lips and kissed his chest again, then moved my kisses upward along his throat and jaw, his chin was all the higher I could reach without moving, and I didn't really feel like moving. I kissed his chin again and he leaned his head down, catching my lips with his in an impatient, burning kiss.
His hand moved slightly, sliding under the hem of my shirt. His fingers dug delightfully into the skin on my back as he tried to pull me closer. I moved my hands from his shoulders to his hair, threading the soft locks through my fingers as I pulled lightly. Edward's lips parted with a groan and his tongue pressed eagerly against my lips.
I could already barely breath, but I opened my mouth to his anyway. His tongue slipped inside unhesitatingly, pushing down against mine as I panted through my nose. I moaned lightly as the tip of his tongue circled mine and pushed against his calves with my toes to force my mouth harder to his.
I realized I probably really sucked at this kissing thing, but I didn't let that stop me. I couldn't catch my breath, yet Edward was the one who broke the kiss. I followed as he rolled onto his back, draping half of my body over his. I left one hand in his hair and trailed the other down his body, memorizing the way his skin felt against my palm. I stopped my hand on his abs and circled my thumb lightly over the ridges. Edward tensed slightly, making the muscles bulge and tighten against my hand. I bit back a moan looked down at my hand, pressing my thumb into a delicious ridge. He tensed again and this time I did moan a little bit when I saw the muscles go taut.
Oh my God.
Edward's hand was still inside the back of my shirt and he slowly circled his arm around my waist until his hand was pressed against my abdomen. He pressed his thumb in lightly and circled. My stomach muscles tensed, the thrill of tension going straight between my legs. He did it again, making me tense, sending more tingles between my thighs.
I paid much closer attention as I pressed my hand into his stomach and slid my thumb along the dip between his abs, straight down to just above his bellybutton. He stiffed, his breath catching, and I swear I saw the blanket laying across his waist twitch.
Oh! My God!
"We should get up," I said grudgingly. If we didn't, I would probably get too brave and want to find out how the hair beneath his bellybutton felt against my hand. I wonder how he'd tense up then...
"Yeah," Edward agreed.
Neither of us moved to get up and I circled the pad of my thumb around his bellybutton, the sparse hairs tickling my finger as I passed over them. Edward hissed out a breath then rolled out from under me. He stood and stretched while I greedily watched, taking in every last detail that I could.
It was beautiful agony watching his muscles bunch and release. His shorts hung dangerously low on his hips, exposing the top band of his underwear. I imagined myself crawling across the bed and pressing fully against his strong back, my hand sliding down over his tight abs and finally into his shorts, feeling him straining hard for me.
I heard him groan and I darted my eyes to his. He was staring at me. I quickly released my lip from my teeth and let go of the blanket that was clutched in my hand. I hauled myself out of his bed and escaped down the hall into the bathroom. My lips were red and my cheeks were flushed, my clothes was rumpled and my hair was messy.
I quickly straightened my clothes, then combed my fingers through my hair, getting the knots out of it as best as I could. I splashed cold water onto my face and scrubbed it dry. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and went to the kitchen to wait for Edward.
Upon entering the kitchen, he strode straight towards me unwaveringly. He bent and kissed me, though only for a disappointingly short time. I tried to reach up to kiss him, but he was too far away, and when I tried to pull him back to me, he wouldn't budge. Confused, I tried again, but he was standing firm. Bewildered, I looked up at his face to find him smirking at me.
I would not let him get away with this! I narrowed my eyes at him and once again tried to pull him down to me. He cocked an eyebrow and smirked wider. "Do you need something?" he asked.
Oh, the nerve! I thought about telling him no, but I knew I wouldn't be able to go without kissing him. I gripped his shoulders and jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist to catch myself. He grunted and stumbled back, his eyes a bit wide with surprise. I smirked at him, then hugged his neck tight and kissed him. He laughed against my mouth and I bit at his lower lip. His hands lightly circled my thighs as he turned, stepping back against the cupboards. I sat down on them and demandingly pressed my tongue to his lips. I kept my arms and legs locked around him, not letting him pull away from me as I got my fill of making out with him.
Our tongues grew careless and our teeth awkwardly knocked together as breathing became difficult, the kiss turning from passionate making out to breathless determination. Defeated, I leaned my head back and panted for breath through my mouth. Edward's lips moved down to my throat where he kissed, sweeping chaste pecks from my jaw to my collarbones to my ear. His lips parted as he breathed, and I shivered as damp air tickled my neck. I titled my head to the side, allowing Edward better access and he sucked lightly beneath my ear.
My head flew back and rammed into the cupboard at the unexpected sensation his lips had caused. "Ow," I whimpered, immediately reaching to rub the spot on the back of my head.
Edward looked at me worriedly and I laughed. He sighed and pushed my hand out of the way, reaching his fingers into my hair to knowingly rub the sore spot. "I'll kiss it better," he said.
I wasn't going to fight him, though I had no idea how he was going to kiss the back of my head better. His mouth traversed from my lips back to the spot beneath my ear. He was more careful this time, but when he flicked his tongue over the spot, my head flew back again. His fingers took the brunt of the damage and he didn't seem to mind as he lavished attention on the spot that sent tingles through my body, warmth shooting down my spine and coming to rest between my thighs.
"Oh God, Edward," I moaned, embarrassingly loudly, when his teeth pressed lightly against the sensitive skin.
His mouth stopped moving briefly and I was given a moment to have clear thoughts, rather than the sexually laced imaginings that reeked dirty, dirty havoc on my mind, and body, when his lips caressed my skin.
"We should have breakfast," I said meekly, my voice breathy and weak, and not at all convincing.
"Mm," Edward hummed against my skin, sucking lightly on that spot that made my eyes widen and my toes curl—and admittedly, my panties wet... or wetter.
"Edward," I moaned again.
He didn't freeze this time. Instead, his body pressed between my parted thighs and kept pressing until I could feel him hard between the two layers of denim that separated us. "Oh, God," he breathed out slowly, drawing the words out in a whisper against my skin that made me shiver.
"We should... we should eat," I forced out breathlessly.
His lips pressed insistent kisses along my jaw and up to my lips. His tongue immediately pressed into my mouth and he groaned against me, pressing his hips harder to me. Pulling back slightly, he mumbled, "I thought you were my breakfast," against my lips, then nibbled at the bottom one.
He gently nuzzled my head back for his free access at my neck again, and I nearly moaned out a curse word when he sucked the twin spot beneath my other ear. My body trembled and I quickly gripped his shoulders, shoving him back.
"I'm serious, we have to stop," I said as forcefully as I could manage while breathless and shaky.
Edward stepped away from me, immediately putting his back to me. He walked to the other side of the kitchen and began rummaging the cupboards. His shoulders were up and stiff, I heard him hiss a curse when something fell from the cupboard. He yanked his hand back and muttered to himself as he slammed the cupboard door.
Fright replaced the warm tingly feelings that were previously shooting down my spine and cold, genuine panic replaced the longing warmth in my gut. He was obviously angry. He hadn't wanted to stop, but I pushed him away.
"Bella, are waffles..." His voice died away as he turned to look at me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I wasn't sure if I was afraid of him or just afraid of losing him as he cautiously moved toward me.
The previous tension in his body seemed to melt away as he looked at me. I still couldn't look away. I decided that I definitely wasn't afraid of the beautiful man before me, but I was terrified to lose him. He stepped in close to me, though he kept a great deal more distance between us then he had before. His hand lightly cupped my cheek and his thumb slid languidly across my bottom lip, barely touching, barely moving.
"You're beautiful," he whispered.
A stale breath left my lunges with a whoosh and I pulled a much needed, ragged one in. It burned slightly and my vision swam. Edward looked concerned.
"I didn't mean to upset you," he said desperately, his face pleading. His concern seemed to deepen when I didn't reply.
He dropped his hand from my face and he placed his hands on either side of me, leaning into the counter while he dropped his head.
"Please don't leave," he begged. I wasn't even able to stammer out a reply to that before he continued. "When I mess up so bad that you want to leave, please don't. Don't quit, I can't do this alone again. I'm sorry I went too far. I won't do it again."
I didn't really know what he was talking about, but he wouldn't look up at me to see that I was confused, and I couldn't seem to get my mouth to connect to my brain. When he finally did look up at me, he seemed guarded. I'm not sure how I looked, but I was bewildered, which I actually hoped was obvious. I wanted him to explain.
"I'm sorry," he whispered again. He leaned in and pecked a kiss on the side of my mouth. He stood up straight and grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Do you like waffles?"
The question was straightforward enough, but I was still reeling. I had no idea what was going on. Was he breaking up with me? Could he even break up with me if I wasn't his girlfriend?
I nodded to answer his question, I did like waffles. At the moment though, I felt like I was going to throw up.
"Okay," he said. He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek again. "I'll make waffles. We can have them with regular syrup or I can pull out some berries and you can have them with whipped cream and berries, or anything else you might like."
I simply nodded again. Honestly, I was confused and his moods seemed all over the place. He could go from perfectly happy and contented to miserable and brooding without any warning at all. Then he'd slap on that fake smile that looked more like a grimace and try to pretend everything was fine when it obviously wasn't. I could hardly keep up and his mood swings were giving me a case of whiplash.
Edward's shoulders hunched up again as he resumed his banging around in the kitchen. Every time he turned his profile to me, I could see his jaw flexing. He appeared cold and distant, even his eyes. He didn't talk to me at all while mixing up the batter for waffles. He looked angry and bitter and resentful, I didn't think I could take it. I couldn't take his rejection.
"I have to go," I said apprehensively, pushing off the counter. I didn't want to go, but if he was angry with me and didn't want me here anymore, then I wouldn't stay, and I really didn't want to hear him ask me to leave.
"What? Where? Why?" Edward asked quickly, his voice shaking slightly when he spoke. I didn't want to look at him, I was afraid of what I'd see if I did, but when there was a muted thud of something falling, I looked up.
The panic I felt inside seemed mild compared to the look on Edward's face as he stared desperately at me. I broke eye contact will him and looked at the mess he'd made on the counter. There was flour all over the place.
"Bella?" he asked quietly.
I looked down at the floor and kept my eyes there as I mumbled, "You're angry with me, I should go."
"What?" he asked incredulously. "Oh God, no, Bella, I'm not angry with you."
I heard him cross the room and I could see his toes as he stood close to me, but it still startled me when his arms were around me and my face was against his chest.
"No, Bella, I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at myself. I'm so sorry for everything. Please forgive me?" he whispered anxiously.
I could feel my brain trying to understand. I really wanted to understand, but it didn't make any sense to me. "I don't understand," I mumbled into his chest.
Edward released me and took a small step back. He gripped my chin and urged my head back gently to look at him. His eyes moved across my face pleadingly and his voice was rough with emotion when he spoke again. "What don't you understand? I'm not angry with you, Bella, not at all."
I shook my head and his hand fell from my face to hang in defeat at his side. "I pushed you away, that was when you got angry."
His face fell. "But not at you," he explained. "It wasn't the fact that you pushed me away that upset me, it was the fact that you had to push me away, I should have stopped. I should have known better, Bella. I told you, it won't happen again." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead quickly. "How about that breakfast?"
"I'm not hungry," I said. That stupid fake smile instantly fell off his face.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?"
I nodded. "I have to go home after I'm finished here."
Again, I didn't want to leave, but I was admittedly testing him a little bit. I wanted to know if he'd get angry with me or if he'd just be upset and try to stop me. He did neither, he plastered that fake, gut-wrenching smile on his face and bowed his head jerkily once. Maybe that was his way of telling me to go.
I left the house without another word to him, and he didn't try to speak to me while we were in the barn. Until just before I was about to leave.
"Bella, please wait," he called from his office.
EPOV
I was roused by a bright room and a loudly protesting bladder the next morning. I lumbered out of bed to my bathroom. I scrubbed my hand over my face and yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and dragging my hand through my bed head as I relieved myself.
I'm late, was the only coherent thought running through my mind. It was bright beyond the windows and I felt slow from the amount of sleep I'd gotten. I rushed out of my room to start some coffee to wake myself, but froze as I realized I was not nearly alone as I thought I was.
Bella was on my couch, sleeping, half-naked. And I couldn't drag my eyes away from the sight of her.
She was face down, a pillow curled between her arms and under her head. Her jeans from last night were discarded on the floor, as was the blanket that I assume was supposed to be covering her. She was naked from the tips of her toes up to the very underwear I'd seen draping from her pile of clothing last night. The dark blue lace clung and curved to her delicious pale skin, accentuating the rise from her thin thighs to her perfectly shaped bottom. My eyes greedily roamed down her fully exposed legs then back up again coming to rest on the material centered between her thighs.
Shocked with myself, I snapped my eyes away. She was sleeping, how the hell could I just stand there and stare at her? But what was I supposed to do? I knew what I wanted to do, but licking every inch of her shapely legs would hardly be acceptable. I could cover her up, but what if she caught me? Covering her up wasn't a good idea either. If she woke up and saw me, we would both be hugely embarrassed. She was modest, and I doubt being found half-naked would be something she'd enjoy. And I was sporting a pop-up tent in my front yard, which I really didn't want her to see.
I backed slowly down the hallway to my bedroom. After a moments consideration, I slammed the door rather roughly, then cringed at the loud bang that reverberated. If that didn't wake her, then me licking the curve where her ass met her thigh wasn't going to wake her either.
I took my time getting properly dressed and banged around nosily all the while. I was relieved that when I finally decided to exit my room the guest bathroom door was closed and Bella wasn't on the couch—I was admittedly also extremely disappointed that her sexy ass and legs were going to be again hidden from my eyes indefinitely.
I had just started the coffee when Bella tentatively made her way into the kitchen. She was so fucking beautiful, I could hardly stand the thought of not having her here with me, always. I strode determinedly across the kitchen and enveloped her in a hug. Her arms quickly wound around my neck and she pulled herself closer, drawing a satisfied sigh from me.
Despite the hour being later than I liked considering there was a barn full of hungry horses that needed riding, we took our time kissing and embracing each other. I tried not to let my guilt show when I realized I'd woken her when she'd had very little sleep.
I tried fruitlessly to talk her into going to rest, but she was so damn stubborn. I was being dramatic, and I knew it, but I threw her over my shoulder and carried her to my bedroom when she wouldn't agree willingly. I was shocked when her hand playfully smacked my ass.
Bella smacked my ass. I was hard-pressed to not growl and ravish her right then and there. Her face was flushed in the most appealing way as she lied to me, claiming that she had not just spanked me. Oh, God, how I wanted her to spank me.
I quickly moved myself away from her and covered her with the blanket, resorting to begging as she resisted my pleas to rest. Of course, even begging didn't work on her. She claimed she couldn't sleep, to which I encouraged her to go home. Her resistance wasn't futile, Bella had her way and ended up in the barn with me doing chores and riding horses. But I couldn't be disappointed because it just didn't feel the same anymore without her by my side.
Even though she was obviously tired and fatigued, she still did her job better than anyone else could. She didn't make one mistake, though I did find myself watching more closely than usual. I was concerned for her safely as she mounted up, but she rode fine, knowledgeably.
By the end of the day though, I thought for sure I would have to carry her home. My guilty conscience grew heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. She didn't have to stay with me, but I'd asked and she had, probably for me even though she said she hadn't wanted to drive home. Then I ogled her sexy, mostly naked body while she slept. Of course, I couldn't have just made my way out to the barn after that. I had to wake her, which resulted in her now being so exhausted, she looked like she could barely sit up straight.
I was an asshole.
I heated leftovers and joined her on the couch to eat. She barely had the energy to finish the meal, and after I'd returned to the couch from shoving the dishes in the dishwasher, she curled up against my side and her breathing immediately evened out. Her body was lax, slumped against mine while I stroked her hair. She didn't even stir when I picked her up off of the couch. I hoped she wouldn't be too angry with me when she woke up in my bed.
I wasn't tired, so I showered and got ready for bed. Sleeping in a shirt was like sleeping with socks on for me, I just couldn't do it. Even though sleeping with my shirt off seemed a bit suggestive, I hoped she wouldn't be any more angry with me... I wouldn't touch her.
I grabbed a book from my nightstand and sat on the far edge of the bed. If she were to wake up, she would probably be creeped out to find me staring at her while she slept, so I used the book as a cover, just in case, though I really wasn't reading it at all.
She looked even more innocent as she slept. Her already full lips appeared somehow fuller and softer, relaxed into a subtle pout. Her hair blended with the dark of my pillowcase, night encasing her side of the bed. The soft light of the bedside lamp glowed around me, lighting just enough for me to see the silhouette of her body beneath the covers.
I grew tired, and I knew I should go sleep in a guest bed, but I couldn't talk myself into leaving. As she slept there in bed beside me, it just felt right to be in bed with her. It felt like she was finally claiming her side of the bed. She was my missing half.
I just hoped she wouldn't decide I was entirely too weird to be with. I did move her sleeping form to my bed after all, then watched her sleep for an hour. That was probably considered weird by most normal people's standards.
I settled underneath the covers as far away from her as possible, hoping distance would alleviate any fears she may have when she woke up in the bed with me. If I had any luck at all, maybe I would awake before her and could slip out without her noticing.
But as luck would have it, I woke after she did, but she seemed perfectly at ease as she offered a shy, "Hi."
I was thankful to hear she wasn't furious with me. She didn't seem at all concerned, she even snuggled with me while I was shirtless. It felt amazing. Innocent good morning pecks morphed into a full on heated make out. It didn't escape my notice that my tongue was in her mouth for the first time ever. Her tongue moved hesitantly with mine, pressing light into my mouth. The feeling of her sounds reverberating into my mouth drove me crazy, as did the feel of her short breaths through her nose tickling my skin.
When I rolled away to break the kiss, Bella followed, lying half of her body over mine. Then her hand started to travel across my body, her fingertips barely making contact. Just her hand on my stomach made me delirious with want and I could feel my arousal throbbing.
She really couldn't have any idea what she was doing to me, and if she did, she was really enjoying it. With my hand in the back of her shirt, I mimicked her movement, sliding my hand against her bare abdomen, pressing in and circling until I felt her tense. I watched as her lower half shifted and she seemed to rub her thighs together.
She had to realize she was doing the very same thing to me. Still, she did it again, lower even, making my cock painfully hard. God, I just wanted her to go lower, to wrap her perfect little fingers around me and to stroke me until I couldn't take it anymore.
She sounded reluctant as she mumbled something about getting up. I agreed with her, but neither of us really made a move to leave the bed. Instead, Bella's hand moved even lower and she circled my bellybutton, caressing lightly against the sensitive skin beneath my happy trail.
Holy fuck.
I shot out of bed, afraid one of us was going to get even braver, ending up in a situation she might regret. I kept my back to her so she couldn't see the huge bulge in the front of my shorts and stretched out my stiff limbs.
I peeked over my shoulder at Bella to see her staring at my back with her lip clamped between her teeth and the comforter fisted in her hands, looking a bit desperate and whole lot craving. I groaned at the thought of feeling a damp heat between her legs against me and her eyes snapped up to mine.
Her cheeks blushed red, completely giving her away as I realized she was definitely thinking about something inappropriate as she checked me out. Obviously embarrassed, she hurriedly crawled out of bed and escaped out of my bedroom into the hallway.
I groaned again and rubbed my face, trying to clear my lust-ridden brain. I dressed quickly and forced myself to calm down enough to use the bathroom.
Beautiful Bella met me in the kitchen, where I swore to keep things virtuous, but she had other plans. A gentle, chaste kiss wasn't enough for her and when I wouldn't move to her liking, she took matters into her own hands.
When she spanked me the day before, I'd thought she had just had a complete lapse of modesty, but my mind was changed when she unexpectedly jumped onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. Bella would get what she wanted, and I was more than willing to give it.
She tasted like heaven and sin all rolled into one hot little body. Her mouth and hands moved frantically with my own, searching and exploring in any way that we could as we kissed in this new, more passionate manner. Breathing grew difficult and our mouths grew tired, but I couldn't take my lips off her skin, not yet. I kissed along her jaw and neck, down to the collar of her shirt and back up toward her ear.
Bella started to make a gentle humming sound as I kissed along the side of her neck. She inhaled sharply as my lips brushed lightly over a spot beneath her ear and I parted my lips, sucking softly at the skin. Bella's head flew back unexpectedly, slamming into the cupboards with a loud thud and a pained cry. I sighed as Bella looked at me blushingly and laughed. I promised to kiss it better and gently massaged at the back of her head where she'd hit it.
Vigilantly, I worked my way back to that spot beneath her ear. I think she'd liked it and I wanted to find out. I wasn't disappointed. As soon as I'd found the spot, Bella had once again rammed her head back, though this time it was my fingers that met the cupboard. I barely felt it as I watched her mouth drop open in wonder. Experimentally, I cautiously pressed my teeth against the obviously sensitive skin and Bella moaned my name loudly.
Oh, God, yeah. She definitely liked it. I really liked that she liked it, a lot.
Her skin was hot beneath my lips and I could occasionally feel her hard nipples against me when I brushed against her chest. I really didn't want to stop, though she suggested we should. Breakfast seemed inconsequential when my mouth was on her. Food held no interest, I wanted to sustain myself on her and her alone, though I knew that wasn't possible.
The more noise she made, the more I felt I was losing my mind. She was all I wanted. I delighted in the feel of my hips settling between her parted thighs, though I desperately wished for the clothing separating us to be gone. I wanted to feel the promise of heat between her legs burning against my bare skin. I wanted to feel her wrapped around me as she moaned my name.
"I'm serious, we have to stop," Bella said sharply, albeit breathlessly. She shoved my shoulders, successfully pushing me away from her.
Oh God, what have I done?
I quickly turned away from her, putting as much distance between us as possible. What the hell had I been thinking? Jesus!
Even my wife had been disgusted with me when I'd gotten so out of control with her, what was Bella going to think of me?
Ashamed, I couldn't even look at her. She'd said something about breakfast, so I busied myself with that, though I was honestly on the brink of throwing up, myself.
What was wrong with me? Why could I just keep my reaction to her body under control? Why did I want her so badly? I'd waited this long, I could wait for her to show me that she was ready. No one else had ever really affected me the way she could though, she was like a drug.
I rummaged the cupboard trying to think of something to make, but food was the farthest thing from my mind. A bottle of maple syrup fell over, rolling from the cupboard and falling onto my hand.
"Jesus fucking Christ, get it together," I mumbled to myself, slamming the cupboard door.
I could make waffles. I turned to ask Bella if that was okay, but the look on her face silenced me. Her eyes were wide, her skin blanched of its usual radiant color. She was afraid. Oh, God, she was probably afraid of me! What the hell was wrong with me?
I moved cautiously towards her, approaching her as if she might flee if I took a wrong step. I'd taken so many wrong steps already. Warily, I reached my hand towards her face, but she didn't even flinch. She continued to stare at me, the fear clearly written on her face. I made sure not to come too close as I cupped her cheek and brushed the pad of my thumb against her bottom lip. I wanted her to know I wouldn't hurt her. I would never hurt her.
"You're beautiful," I told her. She exhaled and inhaled loudly, her eyes never parting from mine. The fear didn't seem to lessen at all. "I didn't mean to upset you," I tried, hoping for a response, but she didn't give one.
Was this it, already? Did I already fuck up so bad that she didn't want me anymore? My chest ached at the thought. We'd just barely started to know each other, but I knew I loved her and I knew I couldn't live without her, I didn't even want to try.
I did what I thought I had to do, I begged, hoping it wasn't already too late. "Please don't leave. When I mess up so bad that you want to leave, please don't. Don't quit, I can't do this alone again. I'm sorry I went too far. I won't do it again."
If she walked out on me, if she left me alone, I would fall. If she left me without her help, her wonderful much-needed help, and left me without her company, her love, I couldn't go on. I couldn't do this again. I was certain she was the one for me, and I knew that I would give up everything if she left, I wouldn't have anything. I couldn't do any of this without her.
But it was her choice. I wouldn't blame her, not for a second, because I knew it was my fault.
I put forth my best effort to be calm, though my world was potentially crumbling beneath my feet. I didn't want her to be afraid, not of me, and to leave me. She meant everything to me. I wanted to tell her so, to tell her I loved her and that I never wanted her to leave, but I couldn't. It would feel like a manipulation. It would be bad timing.
I looked up at her, confident I could keep my feelings hidden. She looked uneasy, panicky, her eyes darting across my face.
"I'm sorry," I apologized again, hoping she would understand. I didn't expect her to understand, she really couldn't have any idea how strongly I felt about her already. There was even a part of me that didn't want her to understand completely. I didn't want her to take me for who I was, I didn't want her to realize I was no better than a teenaged boy, and if she did figure that out, I don't know that I wanted her to accept it.
Trying to lighten things up, I attempted the breakfast thing again, but I barely began mixing batter when Bella announced she had to leave.
I couldn't stop my panicked reaction. I made a mess of the counter when I turned toward her quickly and asked her questions that were quite frankly none of my business. She met my eyes just momentarily, then darted them away.
"Bella?" I heard myself say earnestly. She's leaving, this is it.
"You're angry with me, I should go," she muttered at the floor.
"What?" I gasped. Angry at her? No! I crossed the room quickly and pulled her to me. She tensed in my arms and I fought to keep my breathing even as I whispered, "No, Bella, I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at myself. I'm so sorry for everything. Please forgive me?"
"I don't understand," Bella muttered against my shirt.
I stepped back and urged her head up, needing to see her face. "What don't you understand? I'm not angry with you, Bella, not at all," I explained.
My shoulders drooped and my arms hung limply at my sides after she shook my hand off of her chin. "I pushed you away, that was when you got angry," Bella pointed out.
She wasn't wrong, but she was mistaken. "But not at you. It wasn't the fact that you pushed me away that upset me, it was the fact that you had to push me away, I should have stopped. I should have known better, Bella. I told you, it won't happen again. How about that breakfast?" I asked, again trying to deflect.
She simply pushed my attempt aside by saying she wasn't hungry. I asked if she was sure, and she insisted. Then she said, "I have to go home after I'm finished here."
My stomach twisted painfully and my chest ached in a hollow way. After the time we'd spent together, the full days and the nights, even if they were few numbered, I'd grown accustomed to her being with me all the time already. I didn't want her to go. I feared that if she left, she would never come back. But it was her choice, so I tried to reassure her with a smile. I managed to nod once and Bella walked away.
When I heard the front door close, I nearly collapsed. The pain was crushing, it was simply unbelievable. In just a few short months, I'd become complete captivated by her, obsessed even. But I'd never loved someone the way I already loved Isabella.
She was such a huge part of my life now, there was no going back for me. I couldn't change the way I felt about her. I was hers, completely. She had my heart whether she knew it or not.
Once I forced myself out to the barn, skipping breakfast just as she had, I determinedly let her make her choice on her own. She was distant, quiet, she barely glanced in my direction and she ignored me.
I was in my office when she finished with the night's chores. Her face was drawn, her shoulders down, and her posture crushed.
I couldn't just let her walk away. She looked on the outside like I felt on the inside, and I couldn't just watch her leave without another word. I couldn't lose her.
"Bella, please wait," I called after her, pushing away from my office desk. I just hoped she would stop to listen.
A/N: I have a new obsession, you have to read it. I'm pretty sure Edward doesn't get any hotter than this:
The Corsair and the Vixen
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5966961/1/
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