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How to Turn a Straight Guy Gay
Part 7
I'm only outside for about five minutes before Emmett comes moseying out. Edward, who looks irritated beyond belief, is directly behind him. I do my best to ignore the both of them, but Emmett is fucking loudly checking out everything in the vicinity and Edward is practically hovering over me.
I'm lying on my stomach in a lounge chair, trying like hell not to think about either of them, but Edward's fingers are tickling up and down my back. Normally, Edward's hands on me in anyway is good, but right now, it's bothering the fuck out of me. I don't ask him to stop though. When Emmett's excited voice moves into the pool house, Edward leans down and starts kissing my shoulders and the back of my neck.
"Thank you for caring about my hand, baby," he whispers, even going so far as to nuzzle his face into my hair and kissing the back of my head.
I roll my eyes since he can't see me do it. He's such a fucking suck up, it's ridiculous. I want to tell him that it's a little late for his gratitude but I don't, because I'm a noble man. I'm not vindictive, not at all.
"You're welcome," I offer quietly, giving him a small smile over my shoulder. I raise up a little, hinting at a kiss.
He looks fucking shocked and suspicious, and maybe a little guilty himself, but that doesn't stop him from kissing me. Emmett is still hollering from the pool house, so when Edward tries to slip me a little tongue, I have no reason to deny him—other than the reason that I want to deny him. But I don't do that. I give him what he wants but when Emmett's voice starts to approach, I pull away.
"Jesus, Emmett, could you talk a little louder, I don't think the neighbors across the fucking way can hear you?" Edward snaps.
I say nothing, and Emmett is about as fazed as he ever is. Edward grabs a second chaise, pulling it right up next to mine. When he lays down, he extends his arm out, placing his palm right against the center of my back.
Again, I roll my eyes. Territorial, horny, spoiled asshole. He's lucky I love him.
"Sweetie, you're going to fuck up my tan lines," I say to him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, babe," he replies.
All this 'babe' and 'baby' shit is going to lose it's effect fast, he must know he's really in trouble. That definitely has me reconsidering punishing him. It's no fun if he knows he's in trouble. I think I'll let him get away with it this time, it'll keep him on his toes and treating me like a princess all day. Then he'll have no idea what to expect next time around.
I wait for him to move his hand off of my back, and when he does, he really fucking surprises me. He moves it right onto my ass, and squeezes once. His hand hasn't been there since he was drunk. He's pulling out the big guns, definitely trying to get himself out of the hole he put himself in. Smart and sexy, what a catch.
"Jasper, stop watching me take off my clothes," Emmett says.
Edward's hand on my ass tenses and flexes and I roll my eyes. He can't seriously believe Emmett.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Edward yells at him.
"I'm not going to jump in the pool with my clothes on, dipshit."
"Hey numb nuts, don't call my boyfriend a dipshit unless you'd like to piss out of a catheter the rest of your life," I warn.
"Christ, you two are nauseating," Emmett groans. Then he yells, "Cannonball!" and water is splashing everywhere.
I sigh and Edward starts cursing, and the day continues as such.
– – –
Emmett finally decides to leave about three hours later. I didn't think he was ever going to leave, honestly. He was fucking obsessed with that waterslide. He was literally as happy as a kid at a water park. I kind of envied his enthusiasm for the little things in life.
I can't say it was all bad having him there though. Edward continued to be up my ass the entire time, which I didn't mind—no pun intended or anything. I think it was good for him to see Emmett and I interact, because it was always platonic and I have to admit, Emmett was on really good behavior most of the time. He likes fucking with Edward though, so he pulled his usual shit. He smacked my ass once, which Edward handled really well—he didn't hit him again, at least. Then Emmett started smacking Edward's ass though, which surprisingly did piss me off even though I knew it was just fun and games.
It was about the third smack that did it. My dignity was shot, I couldn't watch him lay his hands on my man one more time. The first two times Edward was the one who freaked out on Emmett, the third time, I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back before Edward could even start to yell.
"Holy shit, you're stronger than you look," Emmett gasped, struggling to break my hold.
"If you lay your fucking hand on my fucking boyfriend one more fucking time, I'm going to rip your fucking hands off and shove them so far up your ass you'll be able to tickle your own throat. Are we fucking clear?"
"Oh, come on, his ass—"
I twisted harder and he shut up. "His ass is mine to fucking smack, not yours. Are we fucking clear?"
"Okay, okay, yes, I won't touch him again."
I made him promise before I shoved him into the pool. I may have then made out with Edward. He fucking started the territorial bullshit, now I was... just following along. If he could practically piss on my leg to mark me as his, then I could do that shit too.
"I should get going, I have a date tonight," Emmett said, shaking his hair out like a dog.
"Awesome, bye," I replied. I quickly covered my eyes as he stuck his thumbs into his underwear—which is all he'd been swimming in. At least he hadn't been going commando. Emmett is not shy.
Edward apparently didn't catch on to what was going to happen next. "Ugh, fucking Christ," he groaned, practically gagging. He shoved his face into my shoulder from behind and I ruffled his hair apologetically. I should have warned him.
"Yeah, I know, my dick is blindingly attractive," Emmett chuckled. "Totally ruined all other cocks for you, didn't it?"
"Yes to the last half," Edward said. "I am now positive I never want to see another cock that isn't my own or Jasper's."
Cue totally sappy 'aw' here. I love my totally hot, super sweet, barely bisexual, territorial asshole of a boyfriend.
"Whatever," Emmett muttered. "This is our third date. We're totally hitting it off, and he totally sucked me off last night."
Oh, great, Emmett. "I don't want to hear about this," I told him.
"Of course you do, you love hearing this shit." I tried to make it clear that, no, I actually did not like hearing about his sex life, but he just talked over me, ignoring everything I said. "He gives pretty decent head, a little on the sloppy side, but I'll take a too wet blowjob over a too dry blowjob any day. He swallowed, so at least we know he's not a hypocrite, right, Jazz?"
I didn't answer, but he didn't seem to care. "That's a lesson for you, Eddie, don't expect Jazzy to swallow if you won't swallow."
Edward tensed behind me and I reached back to grab his hand. "Our sex life is none of your concern and you have no idea what I do and do not do in bed, so I'd appreciate if you would keep your 'lessons' for your boyfriends." Translation: Edward, baby, I'll swallow even if you won't.
"Fine, whatever, just trying to help you out. Anyways, I need to go shower before I pick him up. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll slip me a finger tonight, or three. Hopefully he's into the whole rugged look, since my nose is totally fucked for a few weeks. Maybe it'll get me laid."
Oh, fucking great, Emmett. "Are you leaving or not?" I snap at him.
"Yeah, yeah. You were never this prudish before, Jazz. I don't think I really like the way you're changing for him."
He left after that, and Edward and I were still standing there awkwardly. Emmett managed to worm his sneaky bastard way right into our heads. Mine because I let him piss me off, again. And Edward...
"I don't want you to change for me," Edward says quietly.
"Baby, I'm not changing. Emmett did that shit on purpose, don't let him get to you."
He sighs and I turn to look at him. His eyebrows are all bunched up like he's worried and I smooth my fingers over them, trying to push the little crinkles out. "I think you are changing for me. I mean, you never waited this long before to fuck."
I lean forward and kiss his forehead, then take his hand and lead him to the couch. I think it's time for me to explain exactly what it was that I used to do, because he doesn't seem to get that he's different.
"Edward, what we have and what I had with those other guys have nothing in common. They were fucks, from the beginning that was all they were, and in the end, that's all they ever were, nothing more. What I did was look for guys who were open-minded, not curious, but open-minded enough to accept what they liked, and I would open up a whole new world to them. My goal was to fuck the straight out of them—and yes, I know how fucked that is. As soon as the first move was made sexually, I took them all the way and never looked back.
"I may have found you with that mindset, but it changed. I don't want to fuck you, Edward. You're not one of those straight boys that I need to change. I want whatever you want, and I mean it, nothing more than that. If we just dry hump for as long as we are together, I would be okay with that, because it's what you're comfortable with.
"And if... I mean if it... If we break up," I force myself to say, though I don't even want to think about that at all, "I'm not going back. I can't do that shit anymore. It's deceptive and I was just a player. No one was ever really bitter," I defend, "but still, I think it was wrong of me to change them. I'm not changing for you, Edward, I'm changing for me."
"You don't want to fuck me?" he asks, after everything I'd just told him.
I sigh. "No, I don't. I've already told you, baby, if we never have sex, I'm okay with that. I've met quite a few gay couples who don't have butt sex at all, actually. Some gay men find it to be demeaning, and prefer not to do it, others just think it's dirty. I'm not under either of those impressions, but can see where both mindsets are coming from. I'm not willing to ask you to do something you aren't comfortable with. You don't have to change for me either.
"But, if you do someday want to try, it's not going to be fucking, Edward. Fucking constitutes a certain state of detachment, sex without the feelings. All the actions, none of the emotion. I want more with you. I want to make love with you, not just fuck."
"Oh," he breathes.
I reach over and squeeze his hand. "Look, I know it's probably a lot to take in. It's probably kind of difficult to even imagine loving me, like in the emotional sense, let alone considering a dick up the ass as an act of love, but just know that I care for you either way. I mean, if you can't love me or make love with me someday, that's cool. We can't just be really close friends or whatever," I ramble, immediately wanting to hit myself for the nonsense coming out of my mouth.
"What?" Edward asks, looking sort of lost.
"I don't fucking know, I'm rambling because now I'm nervous because I can't stand the thought of breaking up with you."
"Then stop thinking about breaking up with me," he says adamantly.
"That's not what I mean. I'm not thinking of breaking up with you, I don't want that. I just, well, you know."
"No?" he replies, confused.
"I'm just fucking scared. I don't know what I'm doing or talking about, I've never fucking been in love before. I've only been in one real relationship and even that was short lived."
"Really?" he asks, and I hope he's talking about the relationship thing, because I basically just told him I'm in love with him…
"Yeah. The only relationship I was ever in was when I was eighteen. I didn't love him, he was just... convenient, I guess? He was my first, I was young and kind of insecure about being gay. It was good, but there just wasn't that real connection between us. Plus he was like twice my age.
"Then there was Peter. He was my first straight conquest, or whatever. I was more obsessed with him than anything. It certainly wasn't love. Pete's a great guy, you might get to meet him some day."
"What do you mean I might get to meet him? You still fucking talk to the first guy you... broke in?"
I shrug. "Yeah. We're friends."
"With benefits?" he asks.
"No! Jesus, we only ever had sex the one time... Er, well, that's not true, the one night, I guess is what I should say. We're just friends, strictly platonic."
"Oh, yeah right. Like he never tried to get in your pants again after 'the one night' when you apparently had sex more than one time."
Christ, now who dug themselves a hole? "That's not what I said," I try to explain. "I... After Peter is when I realized that I liked straight guys. I wasn't interested after the first night. Pete gets that."
"Where the fuck does that leave us then?" he asks, a bit hysterically. "If we fuck, then it's over?"
"Christ, Edward, no! And didn't I just tell you we aren't going to fuck? It's different with us. I didn't... I never had feelings for Pete. I just thought he was insanely good looking, it was strictly about the sex."
"I'm so fucking confused right now! How do you know you're not going to want to leave after the first time? How the fuck can you say you care for me, but in the same breath say we don't have to have sex?"
"Would you just listen to me? If you were the same as those other guys, I would have been gone already. I would have pressed your boundaries so fucking far last night that you wouldn't have known what to do! I would have fucked you and I would have left this morning with nothing more than a 'see you around, cutie'. But I don't want to fuck you, I don't want to leave. I want to make love, and that's exactly what I mean when I say I care for you but we don't have to have sex. When you fucking love someone, it's not about the sex."
And then I hold my fucking breath, because I've basically told him I love him about seven times tonight and I don't think he's caught it any of the times. But this one is right there. He's not stupid, it has to click eventually.
"It's obviously not about the sex for me either," he mutters.
The air whooshes out of me like I was just punched in the gut, only it hurts in my heart—but it's a good pain. I think that my hidden 'I love you' was just responded to with a cryptic 'I love you too'.
I launch myself at him and he tries to catch me, but I've kind of added a little more oomph than really necessary and we both lose our balance. We laugh and continue to kiss, even though we're in the most awkward position ever. When it gets painful and we're both a little breathless, we pull away and I roll my lower half into a more comfortable position across his lap.
I gently brush my fingers through his hair, and he tilts his head to look at me. "Do you get it now?" I ask, toying with his hair still, because it's so fucking soft.
He nods, but says, "No," at the same time.
I smile sadly. "It's clear as mud, isn't it?" Again, he nods. "What don't you get exactly?"
"I'm still stuck on the whole sex thing. I get that sex isn't the most important thing here, for either of us, but I think it's pretty obvious we're both kind of... sexual people. What happens if a year from now we're still only dry humping?"
I smile and twirl the hair that is always falling in his eyes with my finger. "I'll still be the luckiest fucker around, because I'll have you. I think I'll get smart and start wearing a condom though, since that'll make cleanup so much fucking easier."
He laughs and shakes his head. "You are such a fucking liar. You'd get so bored of the dry humping."
"I would not," I contend. "How could I when I get to see all of this on top of me or beneath me?" I ask, motioning to his super delicious body. "And feel it against me. Besides, you have the hottest cum face ever, just that is enough to keep me entertained for life." He rolls his eyes, so I suspect he doesn't believe me. "Think of it this way, baby: If you had to choose between a life with no orgasms at all or a life of only masturbating to orgasm, which would you choose?"
"That doesn't even apply. That's like saying if you didn't have me to grind on you'd never cum again."
I huff. "Just fucking humor me."
"Fine, I'd obviously pick masturbating."
"Exactly. And if you had to pick between a life of only masturbating or dry humping, what would you choose?"
"Hmm, tough choice," he says with a smirk. "Do I still get to masturbate with the dry humping option?"
"Only when I'm around to watch," I joke. He slaps me for that. "I'm kidding," I laugh. "But yes, of course you can masturbate."
"Well then obviously I'm going to pick dry humping with the option to masturbate."
"Exactly," I say with a grin.
He rolls his eyes. "Exactly nothing. I already said it doesn't apply. There's no way your life would be orgasm-less without me."
"It would be, baby. You've ruined me for all other men. I don't think I'll ever cum again if you leave me," I say dramatically—if not seriously.
He rolls his eyes. "You'd still have your hand, not that I'd ever leave you."
"Aww, but don't forget sex toys. Not that they'd ever compare to you." He blushes when I say 'sex toys' and I giggle and pull him down on top of me. "Mr. Conservative, you've never even seen a sex toy, have you?" He shyly shakes his head 'no' and a moan slips through my lips. "I don't even know why that's hot, but it is. I'm bringing you something next time I come over." His face blanches and his eyes get all wide. I shake my head and pull his lips down to mine. "Calm down, I only have one toy and it's not some giant dildo or something. It's like one of those Fleshlight things or whatever they are called. Basically it's a mouth, you shoot some lube in there, and these awesome little bumps on the inside of it give you artificial head. Oral sex with your hand. It's amazing. They make them dishwasher safe, so I'll toss him in there so he's all clean and ready for you."
Edward laughs. "Him? Is it seriously shaped like a dude's mouth?"
I nod. "Is that going to be a problem?"
"No, that's just fucking awesome. Wait, did you name him?"
"Yes," I say proudly. "His name is Alejandro."
Edward snorts a little he laughs so hard, but then he stops rather suddenly. "You said when you come again, does that mean you're leaving?"
I kiss his pouty mouth before I answer. "It's getting late, and you probably have shit to do, so yeah, soon."
"I don't... Okay, yeah, I do probably have shit I should be doing, but it can wait. I want you to stay."
"If school work is the shit you should be doing, then no, it can't wait. You need to do your school work."
"Who are you, my fucking father?" he asks.
"I really hope not, otherwise that boner I feel pressed against my thigh would be seriously inappropriate."
"Oh, Jasper, you just have a way with words, don't you, baby?"
"Yeah. Now hump me again before I leave," I say, wrapping my legs around his ass to pull him closer.
He laughs. "I'm only going to hump you again if you agree to stay."
"Doesn't that constitute as blackmail, Mr. Cullen?"
"Don't call me Mr. Cullen. And you wouldn't be able to prove anything. There's no substantial evidence that can be held against me, proving my guilt in the Court of Law."
I moan, grinding up on him. "God, you're so fuckhot when you talk lawyer to me."
"Yeah, you like that?" he asks.
"Oh yeah, more," I practically beg.
He smiles and gets that sexy, naughty glint in his eye. "You are culpable of a heinous delinquency, Jasper Whitlock. This litigation is controvertible, the evidence indubitable. Divergent to the sworn statement provided, we have found a severe deficiency in your ability to avow to an oath of abstaining from a copulatory relationship with myself."
"Don't stop," I insist when his eyes fall closed and his mouth hangs open.
He opens his eyes again. "Uh, we find you guilty as charged. Your sentence is... Christ, Jasper, how the hell am I suppose to use big words when we're doing this?"
"You're were doing fine before," I counter.
He sighs, then moans a little. "It feels too good to think."
"I had no idea what you were saying anyway," I admit.
He drops his face into my neck and snickers. "Basically just that you are a dirty little liar."
"Isn't that defamation of character?"
He snickers again. "What can I say, I'm a dirty lawyer. Now shut up and kiss me."
Before he can kiss me, I ask, "Can I touch you?"
"Where do you want to touch me?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Everywhere," I admit, "but I might settle for you letting me squeeze your ass a little."
He moves in for the kiss and I take that as my okay to touch his butt. I've been dying to, it looks so squeezable. His mouth moves knowingly over mine and he kisses me long and hard. I start with my hands at his shoulders slowly work downwards, navigating every inch of his back before I even try to put my hands on his ass.
"Just do it already," he pleads after I've dragged my fingers over his lower back for about five minutes. I lightly place my hands over his ass cheeks and he laughs. "You're not going to break my ass, Jasper, come on."
"Like this?" I ask, grabbing his ass firmly, pulling him against me hard, while I grind up into him at the same time.
"Oh, fuck yes," he moans.
I keep my hands on his ass and our humping turns into some seriously loud thrusting. We're both moaning and he's licking and biting at my neck and chest, and I'm pressing his limits by moving my fingers further into his crack every time I squeeze. I'm pretty sure he likes it though, he's moaning like crazy. His ass is flexing underneath my hands and it's really making me hot. His ass is so tight and pert, I want to sink my teeth into it... Actually, there is something else I'd really like to sink into it, but I'd like to bite it too.
It feels so fucking good having him on top of me, being able to see his muscles work as he thrusts and grinds his dick on mine. I love hearing him and he really gets more vocal each time we do this, not to mention more brave.
His lips move to my nipples and his tongue flicks over it quickly and I can't hold back.
"Fuck, Edward, so good. So fucking good. Yes," I moan as his lips wrap around my nipple and he sucks.
I hold onto his ass as my hips start to buck. "Oh yeah, fuck, baby," he moans. "So fucking close."
I throw my head back and moan repeatedly as the orgasm rips through my body. I'm swearing and whimpering his name by the time I'm finished cumming and he isn't quite there yet. My dick is oversensitive immediately after and his grinding is only intensifying, which feels good and hurts at the same damn time.
"Fuck, fuck, Jasper, fuck, fuck," he chants. His hands grip my hips and I hold myself at the angle he seems to want and his thrusts shorten and quicken. I can feel the head of his cock sliding repeatedly over the knot in the top of my shorts and hitting me in the bellybutton. It's fucking hot and he's sweating and his cum face is starting. I squeeze his ass hard and he grunts really loudly and I feel him tighten beneath my fingers, and I swear that I'm going to cum again just from watching him and feeling him cum against me.
His eyes open and lock with mine, and though they threaten to fall closed, he forces them to stay open. He moans my name and stare into his eyes while his body starts to quiver. I can feel his entrance fluttering and his cock jerking while he's cumming and I want it on my skin again.
Then I hear the door open and close. But Edward doesn't. And he's about to moan again. I smash my mouth to his, but it barely muffles the loud moaning he has going on. Whoever has come in calls Edward's name, and that's when he realizes we're not alone. I move my hands from his ass and he jerks and quivers against me, his eyes wide with fear.
He's still cumming; talk about a ruined fucking orgasm. It's hot, yet I feel really bad for him at the same time.
"Jasper, he can't know," Edward all but cries quietly into my ear.
I feel his fear, his panic. His heart is racing against my chest and there is such terror in his brilliant green eyes. I hear the man traveling up the stairs and I pull Edward's mouth to mine.
I kiss him before I whisper, "Baby, you go jump in the pool and I'll be in the laundry room. It's going to be okay." He swallows and his lips tremble, he's so fucking scared. "Go," I urge, pushing him halfway off of me.
He stumbles the first few steps, then looks over his shoulder at me right behind him and I think that it clicks that no one is going to find out yet and some of the fear leaves his face. If he's going to face whoever is here, he's going to need to calm down.
He grabs me before he goes out the backdoor. "Thank you," he whispers.
I turn my head and kiss his ear, then tell him, "I'll be your dirty little secret."
He gets this wicked smirk on his face when I shove him away from me. He quietly exits out the door and I sneak my way to the laundry room. I locate my now clean clothes from yesterday in the dryer and peel the sticky shorts off of me and find a clean towel to wipe myself off with.
Once dressed, I start the washing machine and jump when a voice comes from behind me. "I really hope he's not making you do his laundry," the man says.
I turn around and then have to brace myself against the washing machine, because holy shit, that is Carlisle Cullen, and he's way more attractive then he looks on TV.
"Uh, what?" I ask brilliantly.
He smiles, and he gets those same fucking crinkles by his eyes that Edward does, only maybe a little deeper because he's older, but fuck me, he's still hot. He's an older, blonde version of Edward. Oh my God, these are the most amazing genetics ever. I want Edward's babies.
"I said I really hope that Edward isn't making you do his dirty laundry."
I almost laugh, because I am his dirty laundry. "Oh, no, it's mine," I say, blushing and running a hand through my hair. Shit, my hair is kind of sweaty and definitely a lot messed up.
He doesn't seem to notice. "Well, that's a first. He's not exactly the most gracious person. Where is he anyway?"
"Oh, um, out back, I think."
The man shakes his head before turning on his heel and I bite my lip and follow, trying desperately to remember that this is Edward's brother. Edward's way older brother. He's old enough to be our dad. Fuck me, his ass is just as fine as Edward's.
"Edward," the man calls.
"What?" Edward calls back.
I bite my lip to keep from laughing, because Carlisle huffs and rolls his eyes, just like Edward. "Get in here," he yells.
"Why?" Edward yells back.
"Because I said," Carlisle says tersely.
"That's not a reason," Edward snarks. Now I'm really biting my lip. He's such a shit, I fucking love how annoying he can be.
"Just get in here, now."
"Jesus fucking Christ, fucking demanding asshole motherfucker," he rambles, loudly, as he starts across the patio toward us, where we're waiting by the door. "What the fuck is your problem?" Edward asks him.
"You are, Junior."
"Don't you dare start that fucking Junior shit, or I'm going to kick your ass, I don't care if you're a senior citizen or not."
"Why are you in the pool?"
"I don't know, I was thirsty? Why the fuck do you think I was in the pool?"
"Isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing?"
"I didn't have to be at the Firm today."
It's like watching a tennis match, only a million times more entertaining.
"No, but you still had work to do today, Edward. Have you finished it?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Edward mutters.
"My aunt Fannie you don't know what I'm talking about. You know you were supposed to be writing a report on the case file dad gave you."
"That was last week."
"No, you were supposed to be done with it last week, but you didn't do it, so somebody kindly extended it until tomorrow. Don't give me this bullpoo about last week."
"Why do you insist on using stupid kid's swear words? Just say bullshit, you uptight old fart."
"Why do you insist on being disrespectful and immature? You need an attitude adjustment."
"And you need new plugs, you're looking old."
"My hair is natural and as thick as ever, don't be ridiculous. Why are you an impolite brat? Who is this guy?"
"Oh, Jasper, this is my brother Carlisle. Carlisle, this is my friend Jasper."
"Nice to meet you," Carlisle says, reaching out to shake my hand.
I step forward and smile. "The pleasure is mine," I tell him, as I shake his hand. I swear to God, I can feel Edward glaring at me. What did I do?
"I must ask, why in the world are you friends with such an insolent, ignorant, intolerable idiot?"
"Oh, you're so smart, you can think up 'I' words to insult me," Edward taunts.
"He's a good friend," I answer, not knowing what else to say. It's not like I can say that I love him or he's easy on the eyes or that he doesn't treat me like crap majority of the time or that he's good in bed.
"Well, that's news to me," Carlisle says. "Where'd you guys meet? Are you a law student too?" he asks hopefully.
"Oh, no. Umm, we met—"
"We met at a fucking bar, not that it's any of your fucking business," Edward cuts me off.
"At a bar," Carlisle mutters disappointedly. "What do you do, Jasper?"
I go to answer, but Edward cuts me off again. "Not that that's any of your business either, and it's pretty fucking rude that you're asking anyway, but he's an awesome fucking artist. He drew my tattoo for me."
"When the fu... When did you get a tattoo?" Carlisle asks, almost raising his voice, and almost using the f-word.
Edward shrugs. "Like two months ago." He turns around and shows Carlisle the tattoo, and I actually hear Carlisle sigh.
"The Cullen crest. Well, you could have done worse. That's really good work, Jasper."
"Thanks, I didn't—"
Edward cuts me off, yet again. "He fucking redesigned the whole thing for me. It's fucking awesome, isn't it?"
"Would you watch your mouth? It's very nice, you are very talented, Jasper."
"Thank you, it's really—"
"Is that all or is this a fucking interrogation?" Edward asks Carlisle, cutting me off for a final fucking time. If he does it again, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.
"I guess that is all. You need to have that report on my desk first thing tomorrow morning."
"Is that what you came over for, to bitch at me about something I have already fucking done? You could have just called asshole."
"I've been trying to call, but you haven't answered your phone all day. And if it's done, I want it now."
"Fuck you, I'll give it to you when I want to."
"You can't lie to me, Junior, I'm the real lawyer."
"The real asshole is more like it. Just because you use nice words doesn't make you a nice person."
"Have a good day, Edward." Carlisle hooks his arm around my shoulders as he turns. "Walk with me, Jasper."
I look over my shoulder to see Edward freaking the fuck out. He looks like he wants to kill his brother for even touching me, which is frankly ridiculous, and he may want to kill me for walking away with him. Great.
"Sorry about all of this, he can be so volatile sometimes," Carlisle says when we round the corner.
"It's okay, you don't have to apologize, I understand," I offer with a smile. I've figured out by now that Edward's family is pretty fucked up, and it's none of my business anyway.
"It's good for him to have a friend, so I hope you stick around, Jasper. Don't let him run you off, just wait him out. He's pretty loyal once he realizes you're not out to hurt him."
"I'll do that," I promise, though I think I've already partially made it past the hard part. The only thing we need to work on is his trust issue.
"Good. I hope to see you again sometime. Again, I'm very sorry for you having to see me at my worst and Edward at his... whatever that was."
I chuckle politely and shake his offered hand again. "Have a good day, Carlisle."
"Thanks, you too."
As soon as Carlisle is out the door, Edward is on my ass. "What the fuck was that about? What did he say to you? What did you say to him?"
"Well, first he confessed that he's been checking out my ass since he got here, then he admitted that he wants to nail me. He tried to kiss me, but I politely declined and let him know that since I'm sleeping with you, I couldn't possibly enter into a relationship with him," I reply sarcastically. He's pissing me off with his ridiculous fucking questions and his bad attitude.
"Do you think you're funny? Do you think it's funny that I almost got caught?"
"Almost doesn't count, sweetie. And since you asked, yes, I think I'm pretty fucking hilarious. Oh, also, thank you so much for letting me speak, it's so fucking generous of you."
"How the fuck do you think it felt for me, huh? I'm sure you wouldn't give a shit if everyone found out that you are sleeping with me, but my family isn't very fucking understanding, okay? If they knew, they'd probably fucking kick me out of this house and take everything away from me."
"Except me, not like that would fucking matter to you."
"Oh, bullshit, Jasper. You wouldn't fucking be with me if I didn't have all this."
"Fuck you," I snap. "Fuck you, you pretentious piece of shit."
"I fucking saw you checking him out. You were looking at his ass."
I should have figured that is what this was about. "Fuck you."
"Nothing to say for yourself? Again, Jasper, fucking nothing? No explanation, no apology?" I stomp away from him, heading towards the stairs. "Yeah, just walk away, Jasper. Where the fuck do you think you're going? Where are you going?" he yells, following me up the stairs.
He grabs me when he gets close enough, yanking me to a stop. I shake away from him, but he just grabs me again, demanding to know where I'm going.
I turn and grab him, shoving him against the wall. "Where the fuck do you think I'm going? I'm going home, where I fucking belong. I'm getting my phone off of your nightstand, and then I'll get my gold digging loser ass out of your fucking way."
"You're leaving?" he asks.
"I sure as fuck am not staying."
"So, that's it, you're done? You're just giving up and leaving?"
"You started this bullshit, don't fucking blame it on me. I know I fucking screwed up before, but I've tried to explain to you how much I fucking care about you, and you just don't get it. You don't trust me, you called me a fucking gold digger, you obviously don't believe a thing I fucking say. I fucking told you I'd be your dirty little secret, I offered that, and you know what, I changed my mind. I don't want to be your secret. You should be proud to be with me, because I'm fucking worth it. But fuck you, Edward, fuck you, I'm done."
"No," is all he can say.
"I hope you're happy," I declare, turning away from him.
"Why the fuck would I be happy? Do you think this is what I want? Do you think I want you to leave?" he yells, following me.
"Yes," I reply honestly.
"Well, then you're a fucking idiot, Jasper. If I wanted you to leave, I would have told you to leave. I've been asking you to stay, I practically fucking begged you to stay, and you're the one who is always trying to leave. I want you here, I want you to be with me."
"You want me to be with you, but you don't want to be with me."
"Don't fucking twist what I'm saying, you're putting words into my mouth again. That's not what I said, and that's not how I feel. If I didn't want to be with you, I'd tell you."
"No, you wouldn't because you're a fucking coward. You can't tell me you don't want to be with me, you just push me away."
"I never pushed you away."
I shake my head and laugh bitterly, snatching my phone off of the nightstand. "You're pushing me away now, you pushed me away when you accused me of checking out your brother, you pushed me away when you told me your brother couldn't know about us."
"You did fucking check out my brother."
"Yes, I admit it, I was checking out your brother, and he is hot. But guess what, Edward, all I could fucking think when I was looking at him was, 'Jesus, if Edward looks like this thirty years from now, I'm going to be one lucky motherfucker'. You're right though, I'm just a fucking idiot, I don't know what the hell was going through my head to believe I would be with you thirty years from now."
"So it's over, you're leaving me?" he asks, staring at the floor.
"I'm leaving, but you're the one who left me, Edward. I can't do this with you anymore, it hurts too much. If... If you ever..." I stutter, wondering what to say. If you ever want to apologize, call me? Yeah, the day Edward Cullen apologizes is the day Hitler wins a Nobel Peace Prize.
"I don't want you to go, we'll get through this, don't—" He cuts himself off as he raises his eyes to mine. "You're crying," he half asks, half states. His hands moves toward my face, and I avoid it by backing up, but he moves with me, not stopping until his always rough, but unendingly tender, hands are on either side of my cheeks. His face is broken and he's pushing my tears away just as fast at they come. "It's just a fight, we'll be okay," he says, but I don't feel it. I'm too broken to feel it, I think he was saying it to himself anyway.
I try to twist myself away from him, but he's holding on. He's pushing me away from him and clutching on to me for dear life all at the same fucking time and I'm already too broken. I'm too broken to care that he's moving closer to me. I'm too broken to respond to his lips on mine. I'm too broken to even feel his lips at all.
"Come on, fucking kiss me," he demands, his hands pushing and pulling, commanding a response. But I don't have one.
"I tried to tell you how I feel, and I thought you told me too, but I must have misunderstood. I'm done apologizing for everything that I did wrong when you won't do the same. I have to go."
"No," he says. "You don't have to fucking go. You can fucking stay here and be with me. We can have sex, anyway you want to, I don't fucking care anymore."
I don't know how it is even possible for him to hurt me anymore than he already has, but he succeeded. Those are the last words I need to hear to know that this is over, that he'll say anything except what I need him to.
"I'm glad you don't care anymore, that makes us even. Congratulations, you are the first man who ever broke my heart. Goodbye, Edward."
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